Courageous Fire
by Foolish Mortal
Summary: When Lord Kusakabe asks Itsuki's help with courting Lady Kirihara, Itsuki doesn't think twice about agreeing. But all decisions have repercussions, and Itsuki's may force him to reevaluate his beliefs and look into the depths of his own soul. AU KxI
1. A Character

"Hast thou courageous fire to thaw the ice?"

_-Satyre John Donne_

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Hello, it's Foolish Mortal! I'm trying to get this fic into the same style as my NakauraxAmou fic The Angel but you all know how intimidating a blank sheet of paper looks when you're trying to get the first chapter of your story typed out! The Angel is written in somewhat of the same rhythm of things as the manga, chronologically speaking. Courageous Fire is more of a AU Regency setting. But many characters from the JO manga shalt be revealed! (swoosh of ominous black cloak…that, for some reason, has sunflowers stitched on it…) Who did that?!

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Mana-san interrupts, "I did it."

FM starts "What?!"

Mana-san gets starry-eyed. "B-but, it's so _cute_!"

FM almost explodes but then melts instantly. "Aww, who can stay mad at you? You're so adorable!" Tousles her hair. "Besides, I can just take Lafayel's black cloak."

Mana-san looks curious. "Then what is _he_ going to wear?"

Both look down slowly at FM's black cloak. Sunflowers look back.

FM begins to cackle maniacally. "Oh, I couldn't…but I _will_!! Bwahahaha!"

Nakaura walks in. "What's so funny?"

Mana-san, panicking, "I don't know! She just started laughing!"

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**Pairing:** Focused on ItsukixKusakabe at the moment. If this isn't your thing, turn back now.

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I know you're still here…

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Seriously, turn back….well, because I said so!….fine, same to you!

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Er, what was I talking about, again?

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I was going to do an extended summary here but at the last minute, I just said, "Eh, screw it. They're smart people; they'll figure it out." My other fanfiction was entirely based on one poem but I couldn't find one for this fic so I'm just using different poems by different poets. It feels strange, after working with two or three lines of poetry per chapter with the other fic.

**Disclaimer: I own neither Juvenile Orion; Aquarian Age and its characters nor do I own "Satyre" by John Donne and "A Character" by William Wordsworth. Names of towns, cities, and other uncommon names that pop up in the story are wholly mine (taken from my own original fantasy-world series) unless otherwise noted. I do not own the JO TCG character Simon Magus, Harut, Kaoru Tendou or any other TCG characters.**

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**"Lord Naoya of family Itsuki, Faction E.G.O," the herald pronounced as a slight young man descended the broad richly carpeted stairway and into the expansive hall.

The hall itself was like an ethereal ballroom; the glowing bluish lanterns were fastened into the walls silver brackets. Huge chandeliers hung like upside-down crystallised lilies from the ceiling and delicate lacy chains of decorations decorated the walls like tiny florets. It was dark outside and the moon danced gracefully from through the tall open windows, her dainty beribboned feet pausing and stepping upon the frosted white marble tiles as the drapes belled and billowed.

_I marvel how Nature could ever find space_

_For so many strange contrasts in one human face:_

For those new at Court, there was nothing remarkable about the young lord who had just been introduced; he was wearing the same dark suit favoured by many of his peers, though perhaps his was better-tailored and more flattering that the others. Boredom was in every line of his stance, from the slope of his shoulders to the casual way he had his hands in his pockets. He was convincing except for his eyes, which were constantly moving, never settling on one thing for too long a time. Beneath that, there was a tenseness about him, as if he were not arriving at a party, but a war.

_There's thought and no thought, and there's paleness and bloom_

_And bustle and sluggishness, pleasure and gloom._

Itsuki stopped for a moment and looked about at the company. He pulled at the collar of his shirt and hissed, looking ruefully at his hand; a tiny bloom of red was showing against the white bandage. As if on cue, the long cut on his left forearm flared and a puncture wound at his side twinged in reply. "Damn," he muttered. "Well, that's what I get for underestimating an Arayashiki."

He held the bandage firmly against his hand until the blood clotted and then feretted out a roll of medical tape from his coat pocket to secure the ravelling gauze. He didn't seem to care that he was standing in the way of several other nobles who had been announced and were now trying to enter the ballroom through the staircase he was partially blocking. To hell with it; the stairs were broad enough. Like a book opening itself, the others just divided and walked around him. Some of them whispered among themselves and turned back to glare at him. His answering grin was just a touch too insolent. He finished at his own pace, stuck his hands back in his pockets, and went hunting for the servers with the huge tea platters.

When he was doing the family's accounts or working as the assistant to one of the delegates in the Assembly, Itsuki usually had tea brought to him by one of the servants. While he worked, it sat there looking at him and patiently grew tepid, untouched and- when he finally had time to drink it- unpleasant.

One day when he had finished work early, he had boiled water in a kettle on the stove and made the tea himself. It had been…relaxing, watching steam drift up towards the ceiling while thinking of nothing at all. Patiently waiting for the tea leaves to stew. No hurry whatsoever. When he had finally sipped the tea, he didn't think anything had tasted so good. And yet…

Damn. He would have to finish the pile of papers at his desk when he returned from the party. Life wasn't fair. Sometimes it felt like he was getting the years sucked out of him. He hadn't even planned on attending the party and could have been home right now tackling the stacks of papers crowding his desk like a fortress but a good friend of his had insisted that he come. Which meant that he would be staying up late working. Again. Itsuki wished he could get more _sleep_. Five hours a night was good enough, usually; seven, if he was lucky. But he would need all his strength for the Shadow Game scheduled for tomorrow.

_There's weakness, and strength both redundant and vain;_

Itsuki was a veteran of the Shadow Games, a perpetual set of duels that pitted the best of the five factions against each other for the sport of the kingdom. Itsuki had showed up years ago at the Consortium Dome's arena and no one had wagered on him; his slight build and vagely feminine looks did not make him a favoured contestant among those who knew only tall muscular fighters. All the fighters in the gymnasium had called him Girly. But after his first time in the arena, Naoya Itsuki had accumulated more victories than any other E.G.O fighter on Shadow Game record. He was called the Jackal, for his crafty strategies and quick reflexes. Lord Itsuki the Jackal. His family was very proud.

Itsuki saw groups of people already at the party; among the laughing faces and Court favourites were other nobles like himself who fought in the Shadow Games for the thrill of victory and the honour of their families. Here, among the powers of the kingdom bureaucrats and courtiers were other powers, greater beyond imagination.

_There's indifference, alike when he fails or succeeds,_

"Hoy, Jackal!" Li Mei advanced upon him, arms akimbo. "Never thought you'd be beaten, did you?" she taunted, a smirk playing at her mouth.

Itsuki shrugged his shoulders. "It happens," he replied mildly.

"I suppose you thought you would never lose to a girl."

"I only saw you as an opponent, nothing more."

"A better opponent."

"You've had your moments." Li Mei glowered and he offered her a polite smile. "If you've come here to gloat, I think you're mistaken. It was a good fight today and you have exceptional ability but don't think I'm staying down after I've been hit once."

The young woman's mouth compressed. "I never thought that you would."

"Yes, you're too intelligent to think anything less; it comes with the Arayashiki beauty, I suppose."

She laughed suddenly. "Charmer! I hear from all the Court ladies about you."

"And what have they said, do tell?"

"You're friends with all of them. You give them advice, tell them about the lords they're interested in, and even correct their love letters. They say that you must be a woman in the guise of a man."

Itsuki pretended to be outraged. "Bah, I should go and threaten them a bit for that! Go on, what else do those beldams say?"

Li Mei's eyes lost some more of their frigidness. "You're the 'only young man they've met who has all the charm and elegance to court any of them but wants to be a friend instead.' That's a direct quote."

"From whom?"

"I shan't tell. Is all of that true, though?"

"Of course. So, wouldn't it be wiser to be my friend?"

Li Mei's smile faded. "But you're an opponent."

"I've been in the Shadow Games for so long, I know everyone I fight against."

The words fell from her mouth like they had been drilled in. "But animosity is the best source of inner strength and determination."

"No form of hatred is ever good, Lady Li Mei."

She shook her head and stepped away. "No, I thank you for your offer but I must decline. Excuse me." She walked away quickly, long black coils of hair coming loose from the braids gathered high on her head.

Itsuki smiled a little; she was a young fighter with only two or three years at court; it was a pity that the bad lot had fallen to her and she had been pitted up against the Jackal. He had thought she deserved a chance to fight again, and he held back more than he usually did. But then again, it was known that the Jackal's powers would _mysteriously _grow exhausted whenever he had to fight a promising young opponent. 'You should have been called Lord Itsuki the Just,' his mother had told him once and she had laughed as he had winced.

His sister Haruna's powers were even greater than his; she could create a shield with a blink of an eye, inflict a thousand attacks with the same effort that it took her brother to create a dozen. Still, she chose to stay out of the Shadow Games and instead lived the quiet life of a noblewoman at court. 'Because you're the ruffian of the family,' she would tell him whenever he asked her why she did not fight instead. 'It would be depriving you of what you do best.'

_And attention full ten times as much as there needs;_

"Naoya!" she squealed in his ear and hugged him from behind. His wounds screamed but he ignored them.

Speak of the devil.

"Haruna! I was just thinking about you; I didn't know you were coming to the party." He de-tangled her from injuries that smarted too much to bear her embrace. "You should have told me. I've been standing around by myself like an idiot, looking for someone I know."

"You know everyone," she pointed out, latching onto the uninjured arm he proffered.

"Well then, I've been looking for people I like enough to talk to," he replied as they strolled through the hall. "Care for a drink?"

"Yes, thank you."

"So would I," said Kana Itsuki on the other side. Itsuki held out his other arm and his mother took it gingerly; unlike Haruna, she had seen her son's fight that day and knew his injuries. "So, Naoya, tell me; what did you do?"

"Not even a hello or good evening, Mother? If you two are going to ambush me like this, I would like some sort of greeting maybe. Or perhaps even an apology."

"I see no need for an apology. _You're _the gentleman; _you're_ supposed to inquire after _us_," his mother retorted good-naturedly.

"I agree," said Haruna on the other side and then, "What does she mean by 'what did you do'?"

"I'd like to know the same thing," Itsuki remarked. He detached himself from his sister and mother to steal two glasses from one of hte servers. The two fragile brimming goblets gleamed as they caught the lamplight.

"You know exactly what I mean!" his mother admonished as she accepted the drink. Taking a sip, she continued, "I saw you talking with Lady Li Mei before."

"Li Mei "The Eura" of Arayashiki?" Haruna inquired, tapping the rim of her glass with a fingernail.

"Yes," replied Itsuki. "And I didn't think it was a crime to talk to someone," he told his mother sharply.

"What made her so upset that she had to break her conversation with you and leave the party?" she demanded.

"Oh. That." Itsuki shrugged and wore his best hell-may-care grin. "I only offered to be her friend."  
"She was gloating over her victory today, wasn't she?" his sister replied.

"Bitch," her mother agreed.

"Mother!" Haruna protested, her eyes wheeling around to make sure no one had overheard. Itsuki barked out a laugh.

"She's not so bad," he admitted. "She's a bit young and hot-headed. It seems a grand thing when you beat a Shadow Game champion, I suppose."

_Pride where there's no envy, there's so much of joy;_

_And mildness, and spirit both forward and coy._

"I'll wager she's wondering why no one else is congratulating her," his mother said. "She doesn't know your reputation yet."

Itsuki pretended to look affronted. "What reputation? I was just having a bad day and ended up losing."

"Yeh," said his sister without conviction then grinned. "She'll be furious with you after she finds out you let her win." Her brother grinned back unrepentantly. She returned the smile. "So, brother, why are you here?" she continued. "All I've heard from you this week is complaints about 'how much work' you have. Work work work."

"Complaints?! I draw the line there, Haruna," he answered. "Dithered and fretted, yes. Frayed my temper, obsessed, and kept to myself, to be sure! But never complained. And what did you expect after I saw the doubled stack at my work-desk?"

"Is _that_ why you've been so moody?" Kana said. "I thought it was because Lord Kusakabe had left for a trip for Danaan."

_Lord Kaname "Erebus" of family Kusakabe, Faction Darklore._ "Nothing to do with it," Itsuki replied tersely.

"Oh ho, surly, are we? Then I suppose you wouldn't be interested in knowing that he arrived only just and is planning on coming to the party?"

"Really?" Itsuki demanded and craned about to see if he caught a glimpse of dark hair or a pair of white gloved hands marked with the Darklore symbol.

"Ah, that strikes a chord, does it?" Kana remarked wryly.

"Mother, stop teasing him!" Haruna admonished.

"What can I say? I'm glad my son has at least one good friend. Better than those other watery acquaintances he's collected, anyway."

"Watery? What a peculiar way of saying it," Itsuki said. He didn't see Kaname and settled back on his heels.

"You just meet them and charm them, Naoya. You don't get any closer than that, don't try to give them any of yourself."

"Life's much easier when fewer people have less of me," her son replied.

"It doesn't do to be so suspicious, brother."

"Suspicion is second instinct in the Shadow Games."

"Liar; you just don't like getting hurt." Itsuki held up his bandaged hands to his sister and laughed. She scowled for a second but then her expression softened. No one could stay angry with Itsuki for long. "Then tell me, why are you such good friends with Lord Kusakabe?"

Her brother hesitated and thought for a long moment. "He and I have a…oh, I can't describe it! A connection, maybe? No, that's not the right word. We don't connect at all; that's the point. We just…coexist very nicely. Bah, that makes us sound like plants. Er, we just…make sense," he finished weakly. "We balance."

Kana Itsuki looked amused. "And you don't consider him -like you find your other acquaintances- a threat to you? May I ask why not?"

Itsuki laughed. "Because he is impervious to charm; believe me, I've tried." He grew thoughtful. "There's just something about him I trust."

"You thoroughly analyse us all," Haruna commented dryly.

"Have you analysed _my_ character as well, milord?" a soft musical voice inquired.

"Greetings, Lady Pyrrha," Kana said politely. Itsuki turned around.

"Ah, hello," he said and bowed to the red-haired girl. "Lady Pyrrha of family Bremynstae. You're new at court, aren't you? I was going to call on you or talk with you at one of these parties, but I haven't. It's inexcusable. I hope you'll forgive me."

Lady Pyrrha stared for a moment and a slow blush rose to her face, pink as her gown. "Nothing to forgive, milord," she said, smiling and plying her fan gently.

"Itsuki," he replied. "Just call me Itsuki."

She blushed redder still. "Itsuki-san," she said quietly then lifted her eyes to the two women. She thought –and rightly so- that all were so similar with their pale hair and catlike eyes. Her gaze lighted on one, with a quiet considerate look and a mouth softer and kinder than Kana and Naoya's sardonic self-mocking lips.

"Are you his sister?" Pyrrha asked.

She nodded. "Haruna Itsuki. I hope we'll become friends, Lady Pyrrha." She pressed the other girl's hand warmly.

"Lady Haruna," Pyrrha said but Itsuki's sister laughed merrily.

"No no, merely Haruna-san; such high honorifics fit me like a badly tailored shirt."

"But I, on the other hand, must demand that you call me Lady Kana," said Haruna's mother in a wry imperious tone. "And when I ask you your opinion of what I say, you shall say, 'yes lady, you are right, for justly are you the queen of the skies and earth and of all that was, is, and will be.'"

Pyrrha gave her a small appreciative smile. "Lady Kana, I will most certainly," she said and Kana barked out a short laugh. The herald tapped the marble banister twice to announce guests that had recently arrived. Itsuki turned quickly, his gaze intent.

"The Lord Hideaki and Lady Ariadne of family Jyd," he said. Itsuki's shoulders sagged slightly, but he looked away disinterestedly.

"Bah, Jyd is always late," Kana remarked then added, "I think your Lord Kusakabe may have changed his plans, Naoya. All the other party guests have already arrived."

"Lord Kusakabe?" inquired Pyrrha. "Lord Kaname Kusakabe of Faction Darklore? Why, he's already here; I saw him there at the other side of the room, not two minutes before I came to talk to you."

"Is he still there?" _Damn you, Kaname. It _would_ be your style to sneak in unannounced, wouldn't it?_

"I suppose he is still here, yes," she replied. Itsuki considered this and then nodded decisively.

"Lady Pyrrha, if you would please accompany me?" he asked and held out an arm. Her previous blush returned with its full ferocity and she accepted his arm self-consciously. "I'll be back," he told Kana and Haruna.

"Well, we won't be waiting for you," his mother replied sarcastically. Haruna giggled.

"Don't be so jealous, Mother," Itsuki reprimanded. "You two should take this opportunity to meet new people instead of standing around huddled by yourselves like old women."

"Old woman, am I?" Kana demanded, trying not to smile. "Go on, Naoya Itsuki; get out of my sight before I have to remove you from it myself."

"I would never have you take such pains," he replied and waved jauntily, walking away with Lady Pyrrha to find Kaname Kusakabe on other side of the room.

"Let him have his fun," Haruna said. "He doesn't get the chance to act his age otherwise."

"Neither do I and shouting at him is how I have _my_ fun," Kana told her. "So don't meddle in it."

Haruna laughed. "As you wish, Queen of the skies."

"And of the earth," her mother reminded her.

-

-

"Did you hear of the public execution that happened today?" Pyrrha inquired as they walked.

"No, I didn't. Hmph, public execution. They must have done something awful. We don't usually give capitol punishment, especially not in public like barbarians."

"Two men should have been hanged but the one who let himself be captured went to great trouble to make sure the other escaped."

"There is honour among thieves," Itsuki observed, impressed. "But I am sure they could not have been thieves; that would not have brought the death sentence upon their heads, else. Who were they? Murderers?"

"No," said Pyrrha and seemed to grow uncomfortable. "I thought you had heard of the news. I wasn't…I didn't mean to…"

Itsuki shrugged. "All the news that happens in a day doesn't reach my ear at the same time. Moreover, I'm too wrapped up in my own work to notice. Please, I would be grateful if you enlightened me. Now, what crime did they commit? You said they weren't murderers… Were they traitors to their country, then?"

"No, nothing like that. They…they were…" Her cheeks flamed. "They were lovers," she whispered and bit off her sentence as if she thought the blasphemous words would taint the air around her.

Itsuki almost stopped dead. "What?"

Pyrrha obviously didn't want to repeat it again; the words seemed to embarrass her. "They were lovers. They were hanged for-" she turned her dark eyes to the ceiling, trying to remember what the magistrate in the square had said. "-for corrupting each other, sinning against the code of inherent morals, and sullying the very fabric with which love is wrought."

"But people who commit adultery could be charged with sinning against the code of inherent morals. Husbands who beat their wives could be charged with sullying the essence of love."

Pyrrha shook her head. "I don't think you understand, Itsuki-san. This is…different." She trailed off. Itsuki scowled.

_I don't understand why it's different; many times after a man and a woman are bound together for life, horrible things happen to their marriage. Abuse, infidelity, they even stop loving each other, sometimes. And yet…and yet…he sent his lover away so that only one of them would be hanged. They were sentenced to death because of love…because of who they were. They were both men. And they loved each other. Those were their only 'crimes.' Something that was not in their power to decide or control._

For a moment, he missed having his mother with him; she would have had some choice words.

Pyrrha saw Itsuki's face and nudged him. When he looked up, she smiled cheerfully. "Don't worry about it, Itsuki-san. They were just commoners; we're all nobility here. We have better blood than that. This corruption will soon be dealt with and eradicated. It won't spread to us."

Itsuki smiled at her courteously but his emotions shifted beneath his eyes like murk swirls in a pool newly disturbed.

They came upon a group of people laughing over some anecdote; they turned and greeted Pyrrha with a "Ho!" and a "Welcome!" with a few "I see she beat you up impressively, Jackal" directed at Itsuki. But they were only teasing him, for all of them had been at court for a while and knew his reputation.

_There's freedom, and sometimes a diffident stare_

_Of shame scarcely seeming to know that she's there,_

Itsuki smiled absently but his mind wasn't on them; as the circle of nobles broke apart to include them, he saw a serious-looking Darklore standing between two other men, who were laughing loudly and trying to get him engaged in their conversation. The Darklore did not move, did not pay attention to them; he only stared coolly at the floor, his hands in the pockets of his dark jacket, and his expression unreadable.

"So, tell us, Kusakabe," said one of the men, who was called Proteus. "If you could have your pick of any of the ladies at court, who would you choose?"

"I'd choose Lady Chie," said his friend, who was on the other side of Kusakabe. "She's so lovely and delicate. Like a porcelain doll."

"Eh, that's not my type, Jin," Proteus replied. "Now Lady Satsu, she's someone I could really go for. She's so…" he sketched an hour-glass figure in the air with his hands.

"I'll have you know, Jin-san, that your porcelain doll wakes up every day at four to go to the soldier's gymnasium to practice with her naginata," Itsuki said. "And as for you," he said to Proteus. "I wouldn't take my chances with Lady Satsu; she thinks you're an idiot."

General laughter followed this. "We _all_ think he's an idiot," said Simon Magus and the group laughed again.

"An idiot, yes," said Proteus, sighing and placing his hand on his heart. "Witless with love."

"Or just generally witless," drawled Harut. He was an Eraser and had his faction competed, their powers would have killed their opponents and posed a serious danger to spectators and royal property. Therefore, no Erasers were permitted to enter the tournament but they were eagerly called upon as judges.

"Itsuki, look now! You've played me as the fool in front of everyone!" Proteus exclaimed.

"I had no hand in it; you did that all on your own, friend," Itsuki jibed, but his gaze was elsewhere. As soon as Proteus had said his name, Kusakabe had looked up from his reverie.

"Itsuki," the Darklore said quietly. To anyone else, his black eyes must have seemed blank and emotionless but the E.G.O saw surprise and secret delight, for a good friend can read one's eyes easily enough.

Itsuki smiled carelessly. "Welcome back, Kaname." If he had bothered to notice Pyrrha beside him, if he had _remembered_ that Pyrrha was beside him, he would have seen her blush again. Yes, so he was on a first-name basis with the most feared Darklore in the Shadow Games. So what? They were friends. And it wasn't as if Kusakabe called him Naoya. It wasn't as if Itsuki wanted him to. Naoya. The only people who called him that were his mother and sister. If Kusakabe ever started using it, Itsuki didn't think he would be able to stop laughing.

Kusakabe held out his hand and as Itsuki proffered his own, he thought the Darklore might have the presence of mind to notice the bandages on his hands, retract the handshake, and bow instead.

No such luck.

His friend seized his hand and shook it firmly. The bloody scabs cracked and flared. Itsuki flinched. _Gods _damn _it, Kaname!_

"It's good to see you again, Itsuki," Kusakabe said.

"Itsuki-san," Pyrrha whispered and tapped his shoulder. Itsuki did not seem to hear her. "I don't doubt it," he answered. "Being fawned over by Danaan ladies and forgetting all about me, I'm sure. How was your trip?"

"It was fine. Usual," Kusakabe said tersely.

"Hmph, dull and boring," Itsuki diagnosed. "What else?"

"We saw a lot of countryside. Not too many people around, even in the cities."

"Itsuki-san," Pyrrha said again, louder this time.

"Hey, Jackal, this Lady Pyrrha is addressing you; the least you could do is answer," someone reprimanded.

Itsuki nodded absently. "Because of the massive civil war, probably. It's been some time since then but they're still rebuilding. It was chaos there, before. Now, the forest seems to be taking over everything."

"Yes," Kusakabe answered. "I think I like it better now than when it was at the height of its power. I've seen pictures from before the war. Too many buildings and pollution. It's peaceful now."

"Itsuki-san, look at your hand!" Pyrrha said, unable to keep quiet any longer. Itsuki glanced towards her and looked for a moment as if he did not recognise her. Then he followed her gaze to his arm, which was still outstretched in a handshake. Blood was running across his fingers and down his wrist.

He quickly pulled away and Kusakabe did the same. Itsuki's was a mess of blood and bandages. "Damn!" he exclaimed and ripped the bandages off.

"Oh, Itsuki-san," Pyrrha cried and quickly wrapped her kerchief around his palm, knotting it securely. Itsuki clenched his hand experimentally then smiled at her.

"Thank you, Lady Pyrrha," he said and her cheeks grew warm again and she mumbled an incoherent reply. He smiled at her again and bowed gratefully; she brought her hand to her mouth to cover an embarrassed smile.

"Itsuki, the least you could do is take care of your injuries _before_ you shake hands with people," Kaname said, looking distastefully at his red palm. Itsuki apologised and handed him his handkerchief. The Darklore cleaned up the blood efficiently then folded the cloth and put it in his pocket. "I'll return it when it's been washed."

The music from the consort started again and many groups around them separated into pairs and began to dance. One of the ladies from another group came to Itsuki and whispered something in his ear. He laughed and her cheeks grew rosy.

"Why, it's very simple," he said to her. "All you do is go up to him and ask, 'Lord Kusakabe, would you favour Lady Yomiko with dance?'"

Kusakabe scowled as Itsuki grinned at him pleadingly. "I…don't feel like dancing tonight, thank you for asking me," the Darklore replied, his voice rough.

"Oh," Lady Yomiko said and looked away, her hands clasped. Her black ringlets fell softly against her cheek.

_There's virtue, the title it surely may claim,_

_Yet wants heaven knows what to be worthy the name._

"Bah, you don't deserve her," was Itsuki's opinion. He bowed artfully and said, "Lady Yomiko, would you perhaps favour _me_ with a dance?" He did it in such a droll formal fashion that she giggled and the animation came back to her face.

"Yes, of course; I would be delighted," she replied and the two wheeled away. Just before they disappeared into the crowd, Itsuki looked over Lady Yomiko's shoulder and scowled at Kusakabe, who returned the sentiment. The music went on like a golden cascade and soon Itsuki and Lady Yomiko became just another pair in an ocean of dancers.

-

"Why the hell did you do that, Kaname?" the E.G.O shouted kicked the water viciously. The party was over and Itsuki and Kusakabe had retreated to the Consortium Dome's woodland grounds. This was a favourite place of theirs. A gnarled knotted up tree grew hunched over the grassy slope like an old woman, sending dark green leaves spinning into the water like little sailboats. The lake connected to a small stream with a wide footbridge arching across it further on in the orchards. The moonlight bleached Itsuki's shirt an unearthly white. His abandoned jacket was slung carelessly on a tree branch and his black trousers were rolled up to the knee. He sat by the shore, trailing his tired feet in the lake's cool illuminated depths.

"I mean, after she gathered up the courage to ask you to dance, you just turn her down?" He splashed his friend, who stood some distance away- his feet dry, his jacket buttoned, and his dignity intact. Kusakabe was the only one of the two that cared about things like that. Itsuki had consigned dignity to the devil a long time ago.

Itsuki belatedly remembered he had used the wrong hand to splash him and saw pink already spotting the sodden kerchief. Kusakabe crouched beside him.

"That's what you get for being so impulsive," he scolded. "Let me see that." He carefully unwrapped the bandage and inspected the wound.

"It'll heal," Itsuki said indifferently and washed his hand in the lake, letting the blood script unintelligible curlicues upon the water. Kusakabe soaked the lacy handkerchief and wrung it out. He inspected the initials stitched on the side- P. B.

"Who's is this?" he asked, folding it neatly and handing it back. Itsuki snatched it from him and crumpled it up, stuffing the sodden ball into his pocket.

"Lady Pyrrha," he said. "She's from the Bremynstae family. New at court, apparently; I just met her at the party today- but, that's not the point! The point is-" he watched light and shadow shift across his friend's face as clouds darted in front of the moon. He couldn't see his expression. "-the point is, you!" He jabbed a finger at Kusakabe. "You're so damn antisocial; I know you don't mean to do it but it makes other people feel so uncomfortable!"

The Darklore shoved the accusatory finger aside. "Keeping my own company is better than attaching myself to the kind of company you keep."

"You don't know them," Itsuki retorted hotly. He took his feet from the water and let them dry in the cool itchy grass.

"They're brainless," Kusakabe answered sharply. "Silly and lazy, and you have no business letting them attach to you like squid."

"Who are you to tell me what is my business and what isn't?" Itsuki demanded. "Just because they aren't on the same mental capacity you are doesn't mean they aren't decent people. Why, I've had more fun talking to Jin-san and his friends today than I have with our little elite circle of Shadow Game combatants in months!"

"Fun," Kusakabe said contemptuously. "They have no objectives."

"True," Itsuki agreed. "And I wouldn't be able to revert to that lifestyle if I wanted to, but they really enjoy life."

"Hmm," his friend replied doubtfully.

"And you're acting as if you never have any fun, Kaname!" Itsuki teased.

"I don't."

"Liar. You have plenty of fun arguing with me and trying to reform my ways."

"Reform you? You're incorrigible; I'm forced to go along with whatever delinquent scheme you come up with," was the reply, but it had no heat to it.

"Thus, having more fun," his friend pointed out and flopped down by the lakeshore, not caring that dirt and grass would be clinging in a mass to his hair when he sat up. "Now tell me why you really turned down Lady Yomiko." He grinned up at Kusakabe, who couldn't stand against the wry upside down smile directed at him.

"I…can't dance," he confessed. His friend stared at him for a long moment then began to laugh.

"You!"

"I knew you'd laugh."

"You can't dance!"

"And now you're going to tell me exactly why I'll never find a wife."

"You can't dance!"

"I believe that point has already been established, Itsuki!" Kusakabe snapped, already regretting bringing up the matter.

"Why don't you ask your sister to teach you?" he asked amiably.

"She's too busy with everything else. Besides, it would be strange asking her."

Itsuki had one last laugh and sat up. A wind blown flower cartwheeled past him and he snatched it up, putting the poor wilting torn thing behind his ear.

"That's it?" he demanded, grinning wickedly. "You're a klutz? A bumbler? Is that why you've broken the hearts of beautiful women everywhere?"

"I hardly think turning down one court lady is breaking the hearts of 'women everywhere.'" Kusakabe pointed out sensibly.

Itsuki waved it away. "She's just the first one to come and actually ask you. Women go for the brooding mysterious type; trust me, I'm the one who talks to them."

Kusakabe gave him a small smile. "I'm brooding and mysterious?"

"To them."

"And not to you, I suppose?"

"Naturally. I know you too well. I know that when you stay quiet and gloomy at these parties, you're actually contemplating changing into your Darklore form and killing us all."

"It's good to know you can foresee my intentions and save the lives of others, accordingly," Kusakabe replied dryly.

"It's how I always beat you when we're set against each other in the Shadow Games."

"You never beat me; it always comes out as a tie."

"One of these days," Itsuki murmured.

"Keep dreaming," Kusakabe advised. "It'll never happen. We're too evenly matched; one of us will ever win over the other."

_This picture from nature may seem to depart,_

_Yet the Man would at once run away with your heart;_

"Hmm," Itsuki replied and looked out over the lake. The moon reached out and touched the blossom behind his ear with her slender fingers; the edges of the petals became gilded with silver and light. When he turned to his friend, tines of starlight glinted from his hair. His grin had no malice. "Hey, why don't I teach you to dance?"

Kusakabe blinked. "What?"

"Yeah. I teach the court ladies; I have time to take on another pupil."

Kusakabe tried to hide a smile. "I don't think so, Itsuki. Even if I had the ability, I don't think I'd have the inclination."

"Not even if…Lady Kaoru asked you?" his friend slyly.

"Lady who?"

"You are not _serious_! She's only the heiress to the Tendou family fortune and the most courted woman here! And she likes you a lot."

Kusakabe snorted sceptically, then paused for a moment. "Itsuki."

"Hmm?"

"What…what do you think of…Lady Kirihara."

"She's a Mind Breaker, isn't she? Except, not like Titania; hell, Titania scares me! You know the other day she-

"-Itsuki!"

"Right, sorry. Er… she seems very nice. I think she's one of the noblewomen I could actually get to know very well and-…wait…why do you ask?"

"I…need your help." The Darklore's voice was low and uneasy. "I need help with…well, don't laugh at me about this; I know you will…and don't tell anyone else about it." Itsuki gave him a patient stare. Kusakabe sighed. "Alright. I need you to help me…court Lady Kirihara."

"What?!"

"I knew you'd laugh."

"I'm not laughing," his friend told him gravely. "Do you know her well?"

"We're childhood friends."

"Ah." Itsuki nodded sagely. "The basis for every romantic novel."

"Itsuki!"

"…are you serious about this? Do you really love her?" There was no doubt in Itsuki's voice, only curiosity. "No, don't look over there. Look me in the eyes."

Kusakabe forced himself to look into Itsuki's eyes. The cool night air died down to a heated buzzing in his ears and he felt faint. He couldn't pull his eyes away; Itsuki wouldn't let him look away.

"Yes," he said, his breath coming in too fast. When Itsuki was solemn, there was a strange electricity about him. He felt it, when they fought in the arena. A heavy drone of pure energy that threatened to wipe out the senses. He would have made a good interrogator.

Then, Itsuki smiled and Kusakabe was aware that he could feel the dusky air against his face again, could finally tear away his gaze.

"Well, we'll meet tomorrow and plan our strategy," Itsuki said and climbed to his feet. "Are you coming?"

"No, I think I'll stay here for a while."

Itsuki nodded and rescued his jacket from the clutches of the tree branch. "Well, I'll see you later then. It's good to have you back." He clambered up the bank and onto a path that vanished into a copse of trees.

Kusakabe's eyes caught a gleam of white and looked beside him to find the small white blossom Itsuki had snatched up. Carefully, the Darklore tucked it into one of the buttonholes of his jacket and turned to watch his friend's dark figure melt into the shadows of the woodland.

_And I for five centuries right gladly would be_

_Such an odd such a kind happy creature as he._

_

* * *

_Names, names, names…oh, where do I begin?

-

Well, my first original character is an Arayashiki and I gave her a Chinese name. Li Mei means plum blossom in Chinese. So cute! Her Shadow Arena nicknames is "The Eura" because in Latin, the east wind is called Eurus. The feminine form of that is, Eura. I don't think it's pronounced [YOO-rah]. Going with my Latin stuff, I think it's [EH-ooh-rah]. But then again, I could be wrong and I'm basing my pronunciation on classroom Latin, verses ecclesiastical Latin.

-

Kaname-kun's Shadow Arena name is Erebus, the Greek primordial god who personified darkness; you know how the stories start out dramatically with 'in the beginning, there was chaos'? Hmm,yeah. Erebus was the son of chaos and in some legends, a part of the underworld or a synonym for Hades, god of the underworld.

-

Pyrrha, because she has red hair and in Greek, Pyrrha means 'red-haired.' Bremynstae is a noble family name in my fantasy world, Icheothera.

-

Hideaki and Ariadne. Well, I have no idea what to do for AU names so I'm going to fall back on a nice blend of Japanese and Greek/Latin and random JO card game names I find in the back of the manga. Because I am a desperate geek. Jyd is another family name of Icheothera.

The Consortium Dome is the general bulk of the palace, not really a specific domed building, per se.

-

Anyway, to you reviewers, hello! Hope to get to know you better!

-

A sandwich to whoever correctly guesses the symbolism of the flower Itsuki tucks behind his ear.


	2. Dance Me to the End of Love

_"Hast thou courageous fire to thaw the ice?" _

_-Satyre John Donne_

For three days, I've looked absolutely EVERYWHERE for a poem about dancing by some famous dead poet but the best thing I've found is Dance Me to the End of Love, by Leonard Cohen. While I'm thinking of it:

Disclaimer: I do not own "Dance Me to the End of Love," by Leonard Cohen.

-

For those of you out there performing religious dances around the Bonfire of Slashy Goodness, hear this now: _it will come when Itsuki himself realises he is in love. _And oh boy, does it go make a dive into the Chasm of Angst from there! I'm sticking up poems that include some talk of love right now because, well, _we _all know that Itsuki will fall for his best friend but he doesn't know it yet and we're all waiting with baited breath. (dramatic irony, right there!) But have I got some angsty-romantic poetry lined for when his realisation happens! Come on Itsuki, figure out that you love him quickly, so I can use all these lovely poems. (Especially Sappho's "Poem of Jealousy").

-

Playfully Pondering Puppies is in on the Symbolism Sandwich contest. He/She says: Oh yes. The flower... was it in some way reflecting Itsuki? Hmm... the wind sort of being those that take advantage of his kindness... use his help, and then forget him? Just like Kanabe's doing with his attempt to court Kirihara, and being assisted by Itsuki (poor, loving Itsuki who just had his heart ripped out)?

-

A veeery interesting conjecture! And no love, I didn't read that and start laughing at you. In fact, I think that's a very good! An admirable inference indeed!

To others that will probably (hopefully) be reviewing this story soon, I won't put up the answer just yet because I really want you all to think and get involved with this! Perhaps I'll even look at some of your responses and think, hmm, I never looked at it that way; that's pure genius.

Anyway, I'm handing Playfully Pondering Puppies some Pocky because she had a damn good deduction and because she is the first competitor to sign up for our SS (Sandwich Symbolism) contest. XO'MagickMoon'OX, keep thinking; I know an idea will come to you soon and I'd really love to know your opinions about the flower symbolism. Here's some apple slices and vegetable juice to help you. toss Who says that I fatten up my reviewers with biscuits (cookies) and sweets? I'm pro-health! (although, eating a vegan soy-burger every day of the week is getting exasperating)

-

Random event that happened today: I work at a Childrens' Museum and recently I bought something at the gift shop. It's a plastic sushi with a knob on the end that winds up. After it is wound up, one places the sushi on a flat surface and watches it spin around and go in all sorts of crazy patterns. So today at lunch, I showed my freshman friends and we were all gathered around the table watching the plastic thing spin, chanting, "Go sushi, go! Go sushi, go!" I've named the sushi Hakumai-sama (Lord White Rice). I got one for my friend and she named hers…Jim-san. FM smacks herself in the face

I just read a very good CainxRiff fic in the Count Cain/Godchild section that really expresses how closely Cain and Riff bond as best friends. I'm just looking at the screen thinking, curses! I need to put some more of that in my own fic!

-

For those of you that looked at the way Itsuki was around the court ladies (helping them with their love letters and etc.) and thought I was stereotyping Itsuki too much as a gay, I have an explanation. In the fifth JO book in the back, there's a segment called "A Love Letter That Starts a Flurry," Itsuki doesn't say he has a crush on one of the girls, he says he is friends with all the girls and the love letter he has supposedly sent is actually another girl's and he is correcting it for her. I thought that would be the perfect sort of court persona for him to have (friends with everyone, no strong romantic relationships with women, and so on) and I stuck with it.

* * *

"One, two, three. One, two, three. And step left. Turn. Bow. Good, now walk forward, touch hands -that's right- and face your partner. Excellent. That's the basic gist of it. Most dances elaborate on a form of that." 

Kusakabe walked to one of the window seats in Itsuki's parlor and sat down, taking a long draught from a flagon of water sitting at the ledge. "How am I doing, Itsuki?"

Itsuki plopped down beside him. "You're doing well. As soon as you have the basic dances put to memory I can teach you some other more intricate steps."

They had been practicing all afternoon. Although Kusakabe had the most basic steps memorized already, there was a certain grace and aestheticism to dance that Itsuki could not teach him. It would come eventually, but the party was tomorrow, in the evening!

Itsuki stole his friend's flagon and drained it; Kusakabe glared at him but the other paid no care. He returned the flagon. "Back to work," he said and jumped up.

"Itsuki?" Kusakabe followed him to the centre of the room.

"Yeah?"

"This would be a lot easier to learn if we had music. You have a piano over there."

"Yes, but then who will dance with you? And who has the ability to play it? Not I." Itsuki smiled. "Not to worry; Haruna is supposed to come stop by for tea this afternoon; I'll enlist her into helping us. Anyway, pay attention! This is a popular dance that was just introduced recently; the musicians will play quite a few of these so it's imperative that you know this dance by the end of today. I'll have too much work tomorrow to hold another practice then."

Kusakabe nodded. "Alright. How do I start?"

"Okay, Lady Kirihara will put her left hand at your shoulder and you put your right hand at her waist." The distance between them grew smaller as Itsuki's instructions were followed. "Free hands are joined together like so. Yes, that's right."

"Er, isn't this a bit too…personal?" Kusakabe said uncomfortably, looking away.

Itsuki could feel his friend's warm breath on his neck. "Look, I'm sorry but you have to grow accustomed to it. And besides, how else do you think you'll get close enough to whisper sweet words in her ear?"

"No," Kusakabe said flatly. Itsuki put his forehead on the other's shoulder and laughed.

"No, I don't suppose you'd do something like that. But if you change your mind, I know some very poetic phrases you could use-"

"-Itsuki!"

"Fine, fine." The blonde lord lifted his head and Kusakabe felt the silken locks tickle his jaw. "This dance is a major variation of the basic steps I taught you earlier." He went into an explanation and demonstrated some of the moves. "Do you understand all that?"

"I…think so," Kusakabe answered doubtfully but further hesitations were unvoiced as Itsuki began counting out the beat.

"One..two..three..four..one..two..three..four.." They stepped, Itsuki with grace and Kusakabe with awkward uncertainty. Itsuki bowed fluidly and Kusakabe sketched a sparse short bow that had his friend scowling. He was still frowning when the Darklore missed the beat and stepped on his toe. Kusakabe felt the familiar electrical tingle buzzing from his friend's fingers to his shoulder, his left hand.

"Come on, you can do better than that; do you want to impress Lady Kirihara or not?" Itsuki's casual smirk had ironed out into a serious line. Kusakabe could feel the electricity increase, crackling fiercely; he wanted to widen the distance between them and regain his breath but Itsuki propelled him on like a madman.

_-_

_Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin  
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in _

-

The E.G.O's face was drawn and pale; his eyes shone too brightly with an unearthly feverish light. The two amber pupils, once mild and friendly, now flamed and bubbled from an unknown heat. His hand resting on Kusakabe's shoulder burned his friend; the graceful pale fingers covered in bandages scalded the one who held them like a hot brand.

Itsuki's back was perfectly straight, his head high, and his posture flawlessly poised from his toes to his fingertips. But a cold numb chill crept up his spine from the hand at his back. The icy feeling trailed up the back of his neck, freezing his pale hair stiff. Kusakabe breathed and the bitter rush of exhaled air raised the goosebumps on Itsuki's neck and where the throat meets the hollow of the collarbone. He had to keep dancing, lest the frost permeate his skin, latch with cold fingers onto his muscles, and settle on his bones; he had to keep dancing for fear of being turned into a frozen mannequin.

_-_

_Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove  
Dance me to the end of love  
Dance me to the end of love _

-

Itsuki leaned forward, putting his frozen lips near the other man's ear. Softly, he began to hum a song, a slow gentle melody. So quiet. Lovely like a green meadow illuminated by the shy hesitant rays of sunrise. Kusakabe heard it as if through a thick muffling filter. His head had already been crushed in by the ferocity of the flames, the blood pounded maddeningly in his ears, and his brow was slick with sweat. The melodious tune seemed tinny and far away, like a fallen angel singing from the depths of hell. They stepped in time, bowed, and executed a series of turns and the tune went on. Unchanging. Unearthly.

Then, as if after a century, Itsuki's lips left his ear and his chin retracted from its resting place on his friend's shoulder. But neither came away from it unscathed; as Itsuki lifted his head, their cheeks brushed together, only for a moment. Kusakabe felt as if a brazier had been placed on the side of his face; Itsuki felt a sheet of ice crust a layer on his cheek. The Darklore jerked away quickly and looked over his friend's shoulder.

"She'll find it incredibly rude if you do that," Itsuki said. He was breathing roughly, though the dance was slow and leisurely.

Kusakabe almost couldn't hear him through the thundering inferno blazing behind his eyes. "Huh?" he managed to say, making his half-melted mouth move and speak with great difficulty.

-

_Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone  
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon  
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of  
Dance me to the end of love _

-

"Don't look over my shoulder, look at me," Itsuki snapped. His friend's dark eyes balked for a moment before sliding from the floor to meet his friend's gaze. Itsuki's fire had possessed the Darklore now and had eaten him inside out, from the marrow of his bones to the core of his soul. As he looked at his friend now, tendrils of flame flared out from his eyes, scorching his eyebrows into dust and charred his delicate lids.

Itsuki could barely meet that gaze through his frozen lashes. His joints were stiff and immobilized by the incessant unending coatings of frost. Delicate ice shackles encircled his wrists, clinking and stinging with every turn. He did not know where the frozen chains that connected his handcuffs ended; somewhere in his iced-over half raving mind, he knew they ended somewhere in his friend's soul, binding him to his dance partner forever. Fingernails made of jagged bits of ice dug into Kusakabe's shoulder. Whenever Itsuki moved, his heart beat painfully for it bled from the icicles that had penetrated it like a multitude of little glittering spikes.

And as the two pairs of eyes met, each saw that he had violently forced and stunted the other into a being he was not. Into a creature made by the very fabric of the other's essence. A sword fashioned like an icicle clashed with another blade formed from the tongues of a wild flame.

And just as suddenly, the two became one. An unshakeable terrible force of cold fire enveloped them furiously like a god taking over his oracle. Ice and fire were gone; what remained was an all-encompassing all-pervading raw power that a human body was never meant to play host to. As they stepped, Kusakabe spun his friend violently; Itsuki looked at him in a detached haze before pulling at his friend roughly. The hand at Kusakabe's shoulder slid further. To back of his neck. To his dark hair. Foreheads touched so unfocused eyes could better see one another. The pair danced on not because they chose to but because they could not stop.

_-_

_Dance me to the end of love  
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on  
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long  
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above  
Dance me to the end of love_

_- _

Fire blazed up one last time as a ring around Kusakabe's finger just as ice made one last attempt to form a frozen band around Itsuki's. But they soon vanished under cold fire's dreadful tyranny. The two friends could not see, could not hear, could not think; the substances of their souls were gone now, replaced by a dangerous new essence that coursed in their veins. A poison much wanted and much feared. They were submerged in a heavy coagulated bubble of cold fire, electricity making a fine filigree net around the sphere. The two young men were the instruments of the gods, though gods of demonic or divine nature, neither could say. With this power, they could level the kingdom. They could destroy the world. Reduce it to a tortured ghastly endless wasteland.

As Itsuki stared sightlessly into Kusakabe's opaque fathomless dark eyes, a sliver of his own individual soul fought against the god-sent force and came to him. A thought came to him.

And for the first time since he had learned the steps to the dance, for the first time since he had bowed and twirled to its music at endless parties, with endless people, Naoya Itsuki missed a step and faltered. The dance was broken. The spell was broken. Abruptly, the terrible power left them as if it had never come. It flickered out as easily as a candle. Wavered. Then extinguished.

_-_

_Dance me to the end of love  
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin  
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in _

_-_

Fire and ice tried to return to them but they did not come quickly enough. Itsuki stumbled against Kusakabe and clung to him as if he might find some vestige of cold fire still left there to feed his fatigue. Their souls had not returned to them and they were not themselves yet. Kusakabe steadied Itsuki before he toppled. Their breaths were coming in fast and they trembled violently as they felt cold fire abandon them, extricate itself from their systems. If they had not been in such shock, they would have wept, though from relief or despair they would not have known.

"Naoya! I've come back for tea!" Haruna's voice rang out from the front hallway. Itsuki jolted in surprise and the two sprang away from each other, blinking and self-conscious. Itsuki put his hand up to his pale hair and felt no ice crystals there. Kusakabe, likewise, touched his own cheek and found no raw burn but as he reached to touch his arm, he winced and hissed. Pulling at his collar, he saw tiny bloody marks from Itsuki's nails on his right shoulder. Both of their brows were damp with perspiration.

"Naoya, where are y-" Haruna came to the parlour and saw them. "Ah, hello Lord Kusakabe. My brother's been a good dance teacher, I hope?"

He bowed back. "Yes, Lady Haruna." He gave Itsuki a fleeting glance and reddened.

Itsuki cleared his throat nervously. "I think we should take a small break." He smiled at his sister. "At least we'll all have tea together." But he already knew that Kusakabe would decline. He looked from his friend to his sister.

"I tried to set you up with my sister more than once," he had said to his friend once when they were at their usual spot, sheltered under the gnarled tree. "We could be brothers-in-law. It would be fun."

Kusakabe, for his part, had tried valiantly not to smile. "And what would your sister think of this, pray tell; I doubt she'd be very happy with you."

Itsuki had shrugged and grinned at him wryly. "She'd understand. She understands us."

-

_Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove _

-

But Itsuki didn't know how well Haruna understood them. He didn't see her watching as he and his friend bowed awkwardly to each other before Kusakabe left. He didn't see her notice the unusual pains they both took to prevent from touching each other. Kusakabe didn't want the fire. Itsuki didn't want the ice. Neither of them wanted to think about the god-sent cold fire that had possessed them. If it had been real or just the mind's fancy.

"Send my regards to your sister," Itsuki said as his friend took up his coat and prepared to leave.

"I shall," Kusakabe assured, endeavouring to keep a facade of normalcy.

"May we perhaps have the honour of meeting you at the party tomorrow?" Haruna asked.

"Of course," her brother answered instead. "Why else has he been here all afternoon but to show off his dancing at the party and win Lady Kirihara?"

"Why else, indeed," Kusakabe replied wryly. "Really, Itsuki, you do paint me as a rather hard-hearted man."

"And you think I am being to judgmental? My friend, when I paint, I only embellish," the E.G.O said, gesturing artistically then dropped his arms in favour of a wicked grin. "Thank your stars that I do not forsake my paintbrush often to portray you as you really are."

"Then who is he really, do tell," Haruna interjected good-naturedly.

"A gorgon," Itsuki said thoughtfully. "With great black wings. No, I do not know about that. Perhaps then, a vampire, eh? A nosferatu; a shadow thief of the streets and dark alleys."

"As long as I am not a gorgon," Kusakabe said gravely.

"What does this shadow thief steal?" Haruna said, feigning fascination. "Gold? Secret elixirs?"

"Nothing of the sort," Itsuki reprimanded. "Why, he steals women's hearts."

"A most grave offence," Haruna agreed. "Give mine back, if you please," she reminded Kusakabe.

"You need not fear; he does not want it," Itsuki teased her and she slapped his arm with her fan. Kusakabe chuckled faintly and bowed over Haruna's hand.

"Till tomorrow evening, Lady Haruna," he said and she gave one last glare at her brother then nodded politely. Kusakabe paused for a second then slipped on his white gloves with the serpentine Darklore symbol stitched across the backs. "Thank you for all your help, Itsuki," he said and shook his hand without taking out the gloves. It was a minor insult but one that Haruna did not overlook. Itsuki, however, knew the reason behind his friend's unintended offence and merely smiled back. Still, Kusakabe could feel Itsuki's power flaring through the gaps in the cloth's weave. Minute bits of fire alighted on the Darklore's skin, fusing with his own icy force.

Itsuki's eyes widened and he almost tore away his hand in his haste to get away from his friend's power. "You're welcome," he replied quickly. "Till tomorrow." The door closed on Kusakabe's retreating back. Itsuki fled.

_-_

_Dance me to the end of love _

_-_

"Brother," Haruna said, following him. "What was going on before I came?"

"I-I was teaching Kaname that new dance. What is it?" Itsuki snapped his fingers. "The rien…ardien…"

"The arienda?" Haruna said sweetly.

Her brother nodded earnestly. "Yes. Yes, that's it."

"Hmm," Haruna played with her fan distractedly. "Strange."

"What?"

"I felt some sort of odd psychic energy coming from the house when I entered."

"Odd? How so?"

"It was nothing like I've encountered before. It wasn't a Faction power; I couldn't determine what it was. It felt ancient. And powerful. I could feel it for miles off."

"Miles?" Now Itsuki looked disconcerted. "Could anyone else in the Consortium Dome have been able to pick up the energy from something like that?"

"I don't think so. I _am_ more powerful than most psychics; it only makes sense that I would be more sensitive to outbursts of power. Especially those similar to mine in force."

Itsuki tried to laugh it off. "More powerful than yours? I doubt it; you probably felt a combination of Kaname's Darklore power and my E.G.O powers."

"But it felt like it was coming from one source," Haruna said thoughtfully.

"Because we were near each other," Itsuki said helpfully.

"But I've never…" Itsuki didn't look like he was going to brook any more debate. "Maybe," Haruna conceded.

"What else?" Itsuki answered. "Now, if you please, I have work to do."

"Of course," she replied. "I won't keep you any longer." He could feel his sister's shrewd gaze on him as he ascended the staircase and resisted the urge to get out of there as quickly as possible.

-

_Dance me to the end of love_

_-_

Itsuki tossed and turned as he tried to sleep. It wasn't that the summer air wafting through his open window made the night too warm; on the contrary, he was shivering under a pile of blankets as a phantom breathed chilly air on his neck and traced cold fingers up his spine. He did not want to acknowledge whose face the phantom wore.

Something in his skull throbbed. It was a stray musing. Something he kept trying to push down into the recesses of his mind; yet, it evaded his efforts and emerged again like a cork bobs up again and floats in a pool of water. And though he tried to overcome it or layer other feelings and ruminations over top like one plasters wallpaper one atop the other, the thought still came to him.

-

_Dance me to the end of love_

_-_

When he had felt his friend's power consume him and felt cold fire's exhilarating power course through his veins, a little part of him had whispered, _This is what it would be to love him._

Itsuki turned over and put his pillow over his head as if such a flimsy thing could shield him from his own thoughts.

Whispers brushed past his ears. He was falling in a dark swirling abyss of nothingness; he shut his eyes so tightly that his head began to buzz and ache, erasing all thought and dream. He let it dim the whispers and take them away.

And when he woke up the next morning, he had forgotten all about it.

-

* * *

And I know you all are shaking your fists at the computer screen shouting, "Damn you, Itsuki; how can you forget something like that!" 

-

I didn't really intend for anything spiritual or mystic to happen. Itsuki and Kusakabe were just supposed to dance and get a bit flustered. But then my little descriptive passages got out of my control and the next thing I know, they're being possessed by some sort of power and I'm staring at the screen thinking, "What the…?"

But then Amou came by with a book at told me all about what it was and I said, "Ah, well then, that's alright." So now I know what's going on. But you don't until you read it a long way ahead! (maniacal laughter)

-

Okay, review, darlinques.


	3. It is the Hour

**S.S. Contest Update:**

And we have ourselves another contestant! For those of you who simply cannot go on without knowing the answer, I've PM-ed it to you. So, here's what Magick thinks:

-

Hm... and I thought on the whole flower symbolism thing, and I think I can voice my thoughts now. Springboarding off of Playfully Pondering Puppies' idea: I, too, thought that it was symbolising Itsuki, of course, in some way. Well, using your description of the flower from the last chapter, with the "poor wilting torn thing"... I think it could be

foreshadowing Itsuki's angst, his troubles to come with him falling in love with Kaname. Since the flower, well, as you explained it, was small and white and, in effect, innocent and delicate, I think that it most definitely reflects Itsuki, though not his aggressive side, you know, the side that's a champion in the Shadow Games, but a side that's more

fragile. And a side that will get broken when he falls for Kaname, because it's pretty apparent so far that Kaname has feelings for Mana... and then, when Kaname tucked the flower into his jacket, I think that was illustrating Kaname's connection to Itsuki's will-be angst, of course, since he'll be all angsty on account of his feelings for Kaname and all of the issues that entails.

-

Yay, very interesting thoughts! And one of my reviewers wondered what KIND of flower it was and if the type of blossom might symbolise something. Well, that got me interested and in my mind, the flower looks like I would picture a starliss (it's from Crown Duel by Sherwood Smith). So, to me it's a bit like a small delicate translucent dogwood/daisy with a smaller center and petals. I looked up the symbolism for these two flowers and oh wow! This was so surprising! A daisy stands for loyal love and a dogwood…love undiminished by forgetfulness! How creepy and coincidental is that!

I had some links here to show you what is was supposed to look like but the stupid thing won't let me put them up!

-

Now, for those of you still timid of the great and cavernous temple of the S.S contest (a.k.a. Foolish Mortal's closet), be not afeared! Step forth and compete 'gainst our finest champions! (Trumpet music supposed to follow but Foolish Mortal enters, dancing around and playing the kazoo because FM does not play trumpet. FM helps out the percussion kids and sings in a semi-professional choir. FM also has been playing flute in band since 6th grade. What, you don't think guys can play flute? Well, heheh, you actually don't KNOW what gender I am, do you? Because otherwise I'd be unconsciously expected to act that gender. So I might be a guy or a girl. Therefore, I'm going to be enigmatic..and…stuff…)

But it doesn't really matter to me if people perceive me as a guy or a girl because I suspect I may be bi, anyway. Actually, I'm a trueist. The technical term for it is veritist. (Not really; I just made up a word for myself. I'm playing around with either 'veritist' or 'vertamist' which is a mixture of verita (truth) and amo (love) It's Latin.) The meaning behind these official names is because I need a way to name myself. I don't think in terms of gender. I only think in terms of personality and character. To hell with gender…actually, by thinking like this, I might be going against some religious doctrines so to hell with me too, I guess. sigh It's a bit depressing when I'm told I'm going to burn just because my way of thinking is different.

_-_

Also, from the way Haruna has been talking and acting, I think in this fic she's younger than Itsuki by a few years. (I know the book says they're twins)

-

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lord Byron's "It is the Hour" or Juvenile Orion's TCG character Sorcerer Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa.**

* * *

-  
_It is the hour when from the boughs  
The nightingale's high note is heard;_  
- 

"Naoya! Hurry or we'll be late for the party!" Haruna shrieked from the bottom of the stairwell.

"Yes," his mother agreed. "And if we are, we might run into the Jyds. I don't want to run into the Jyds," she added to herself. "They bore the hell out of me and then don't let me leave them, lest they are in want of an ear to listen to their drones."

Itsuki grabbed a watered silk tie from his bureau and hastily tried to affix it properly without strangling himself. As he looked at his watch, his gaze went to the sleeve of his dark jacket.

"Augh!" he exclaimed and tried to rub out the dusty grey spot that stood out against the black. It was times like this that he wished the Itsuki family had a full working staff. He remembered once when Haruna was younger she had visited a friend's mansion and had been in awe of its expanse, lavishness, and its seemingly endless host of maids, valets, butlers, and messengers. Haruna could barely afford to pay for a trip all the other young ladies were taking to Sundence. When she had come back from the mansion, she had found Itsuki studying for his exams in the parlour and bent down near him, putting her cheek against his shoulder.

Her brother stopped writing and put the pen down, reaching over his shoulder to touch her hair. "Haruna? You've come back; how was your visit?"

"Naoya," she said morosely. "Why is our house so small compared to everyone else's? And why does our kitchen staff come to work four times a week? And why do the cleaning maids only come on Sundays? And why don't we have couriers and other servants? And…" they both knew she was being petulant and ungrateful but now was not the time for reprimands.

Itsuki ran his fingers through her hair softly. "Do you know why we have no one else at court but ourselves?" he asked her.

"No," Haruna replied quietly.

Itsuki sighed. "Because our family cut us off. Mother's family disowned her."

"Why? For marrying Father?"

"Yes. I don't know what his name was and we've kept Mother's family name so we couldn't find out if we tried. I think he was a dissenter."

"A what?"

"He was speaking out against the government and one day he just disappeared; that can happen to people who fight with the higher powers. His family was scared that something would happen to them too. So they pretended like they weren't related to him. They didn't acknowledge Mother either and she couldn't rely on the Itsuki family because they had already barred her from her inheritance. We moved here in the Consortium Dome to get away from it all, I guess."

"How do you know all this?"

Itsuki shrugged. "Gossip," he answered.

"It is true?" Haruna asked him, straightening and coming to stand next to him.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Itsuki yawned and stretched then smiled at her. "But I don't want to be a burden to Mother. That's why I'm going to get out of tutoring as soon as I can and start working."

"Yeh," Haruna said decisively. "Me too!" Itsuki chuckled and shook his head.

"No, I think Mother would throw a fit if both of us quit our education." He tousled her hair. "Don't worry, the tutors will barely miss me. I'm not much of a scholar, by any means. Stay in school for me, Haruna. Learn things I've never heard of and come home afterward and make me feel like an idiot. It would mean a lot to me if you did; it would be like a part of me going to tutoring with you and I wouldn't feel left behind."

"But-" Haruna protested, her brow wrinkling.

"-Please?" Itsuki begged, his mouth solemn and his eyes plaintive. Haruna held his gaze for a second then laughed. Her brother certainly was a charmer.

"Not fair! You know I can't say no when you do that!" she complained, smiling.

"No, you can't," Itsuki agreed and pulled his sister's hair.

"Naoya!" Haruna had protested, laughing.

-

"Naoya!" Haruna shouted at him from the stairs. Itsuki rolled his eyes and finished the knot of his tie. "Coming!" he yelled back.

"What is taking him so long?" his mother demanded. "Usually _he's_ at the door shouting at _us_."

"I don't know," Haruna replied. "Perhaps he met a lady he-"

"-Highly unlikely," her mother responded instantly in a flat tone. "They're all his friends…unless he's been nursing an affection on one of his lady friends and we just haven't known. Gods forbid that," she added. "I wouldn't give most of them permission to serve me tea, much less court my son."

"You're too harsh mother," Haruna said, laughing then suddenly she stopped and blinked. "What about that Lady Pyrrha he met yesterday?"

"Her?" Kana's tone was disparaging.

"Oh now please, please don't tell me you've found fault in her too."

"She's nice enough," her mother admitted. "Very friendly. But she seems a bit empty up here-" Kana tapped the side of her side of her head. "-and she's too eager to please, too subservient, yielding to the will of others instead of thinking on her own. I don't see how Naoya could have an interest in her."

Haruna shook her head in exasperation and privately thought it might have something to do with Kusakabe. Something had happened yesterday; she hadn't needed to use her powers to feel the tension and discomfiture in the room when she had returned for tea. And she couldn't forget that small offence Kusakabe had paid her brother, when he had gloved his hands before holding out his fingers to Itsuki, who had almost immediately pulled away from the touch as if it burned him. No, maybe _burned_ wasn't what it was, for after Kusakabe had left, her brother had kept on staring ahead at the door, oblivious to his surroundings; unconsciously, he had rubbed his hands together and blown on them, as if they were chilled.

-

Itsuki bowed in front of the mirror in his room and surged up again, smiling. "'Hello, Kaname; how are you this evening?'" How would he be this evening? Well, if his own emotions were any indication, Itsuki's friend would have the hell scared out of him from what happened yesterday. Itsuki wasn't even sure if something _had_ happened. It seemed too murky and disconnected to have been real. Itsuki tried again. "'Good evening, Kaname; how has your day been?' No, that sounds too nosy and he's admonished me more than once for being a gossip-monger." Itsuki couldn't remember the last time he had cared what his friend had thought of him; he wasn't even sure why he was practising what he would say to Kusakabe; they had been friends for such a long time, hadn't they? Friends.

They were friends; he shouldn't be having thoughts like this…about…about what it would be like to…Something about Kusakabe. It had been something about Kusakabe. Just as he lunged for it, the memory slipped away from him and quickly as it had come.

"Naoya! If you're not down here in half a minute, we're leaving without you!" Kana threatened.

Itsuki winced. "Fine, fine; I'm coming," he muttered.  
--

The manor was in walking distance so even though the Itsuki family did not have a carriage nor the funds by which to hire one, they managed to arrive at the party easily. As they were giving their outer trappings to a manor servant and strolling down the hall that led to the ballroom, they heard voices up ahead.

"Ye gods, it's the Jyds," Kana muttered and flung both herself and her two children into the recesses of a doorway.

"Mother, what if someone sees us!" Haruna objected in a whisper. "What will people think when they see us squashed together like this while trying to avoid those two?"

"I'm willing to sacrifice some of my social standing if it will let me actually enjoy tonight instead listening to another soporific story while downing glass after glass of wine, hoping I will pass out soon so that I may get away."

"You don't do that!" Haruna said, stifling a laugh.

"It's a common recourse," the voice beside them agreed.

Itsuki's head snapped around and he almost jumped in surprise. "Kaname?"

Kusakabe looked at him dourly. "Hello. You're late."

"It's all his fault," Haruna explained helpfully, pointing at her brother, who grinned.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" Itsuki said instead of apologising. Kuskabe looked at him for a second and suddenly the Itsukis thought what a strange spectacle the three of them must make, crowded together at the doorway like chickens in a coop.

"Er, perhaps we should explain ourselves, first," Haruna said, embarrassed.

"I don't feel like wasting my breath on it," Itsuki replied then said to Kusakabe, "So, how goes Project Lady Kirihara?"

"I've been…er, waiting for you to show up and…"

"Talk you through it? Come on now, Kaname; I can't follow you two all over the place and whisper advice in your ear."

"I wasn't implying that, Itsuki, but-

"-If you please, I'd rather continue this interesting little conversation inside," Kana said pointedly. Down the hall, a herald's voice called out the Jyds' names as they entered. Kana winced and said, "Augh, it will be horrible to show up _after_ Jyd. I'm always complaining about how late they are to every party and now I'll end up the hypocrite."

"Kaname, how do you always manage to show up at the parties without being announced?" Itsuki demanded. "We need that magic right now."

"There is no magic; I take the back stairs," Kusakabe replied seriously and Itsuki laughed.

"My vision of a mysterious ethereal Kaname is shattered by an image of him sneaking up the back stairs and getting his black villain cape dusty."

Kusakabe chose not to give Itsuki's ridiculous comment substance by responding to it. "This way," he said instead and a parade of Itsukis followed.  
_-  
It is the hour -- when lover's vows  
Seem sweet in every whisper'd word;_  
-

"Hey Kaname." Itsuki had fallen into step beside his friend. His sister and mother were trailing close behind. "It's rather pleasant outside; you should ask Lady Kirihara to a stroll in the gardens."

"What's this about Mana Kirihara?" Kana asked blandly.

"I'm helping Kaname court her, Mother," Itsuki replied nonchalantly, as if the occurrence was sundry and mediocre.

"He knows her from childhood; isn't that romantic?" Haruna cooed. Kusakabe looked uncomfortable.

"Rather so," Kana remarked succinctly. "Do you know what you're going to say to her when you put forth your suit?"

"I…have not thought about it," the Darklore replied, his mortification lessening.

"Well, you'd best start thinking about it now," Itsuki snapped. "Must I do everything?"

"It seems you're the only one doing the courting, Naoya," Kana remarked.

"Yeh, doesn't it seem so?" Itsuki retorted sarcastically. "Tell me, what will you say?"

Kusakabe was silent as they walked on; he stopped for a second and turned. "Through this door," he said and led on. The music from the ballroom, once faint, was growing louder. He stopped again after a minute and opened an unobtrusive door. Light, chattering voices, and the lively waltz of the orchestra steamed forth from the doorway.

"I knew I always liked your friend, Naoya," Kana commented as she stepped out. Hidden by a low drapery and a large potted fern as she emerged, she entered the party virtually unseen. Just as Haruna and Kaname were about to follow her, Itsuki stopped the other young man with a hand on his shoulder. The door shut in front of them.

"Well, you haven't given me an answer yet."

"I'm not good at this, Itsuki," Kusakabe answered quietly. Itsuki snorted.

"Of course you are; you just need a bit of practice. Here, pretend I'm Lady Kirihara; what would you say?"

"I would…I would say…" he looked away and Itsuki, losing his temper, clapped his hands on either side of his friend's face and jerked it back.

"_Look_ at her when you ask, damn it," he snapped. Haruna giggled slightly.

Kusakabe's eyes bore into his own. "Mana," he said and Itsuki could feel his breath dust his cheek slightly. "We've been friends for a long time." _Of course_, Itsuki thought. _Ever since after the day I came to the Shadow Games. I was sitting at the bank of the pond and you stole my cigarette, extinguished it in the water and handed it back as if you had known me forever._ But then he stopped and realised his friend was pretending to talk to Lady Kirihara, not him. Then why did he feel like Kusakabe was delving into his very soul with those blighted dark eyes?

"And you're my best friend; I cherish your friendship more than anything else in the world." _Not even my friendship? Not even me?_ Itsuki thought and felt his heart twist painfully. He knew it was completely rational for his friend to say this, to feel this; Itsuki was a different sort of friend to him. He didn't belong in the same place in Kusakabe's life that Mana Kirihara did. But…_what am I to you? Do you cherish me?_

"Please," Kusakabe said and clasped Itsuki's limp hand. He did not see his friend in front of him anymore; he only saw the girl he loved. "I don't want to ruin this bond we have; if I don't speak, I can keep it the same. Still, I have to speak. I must tell you." Kusakabe's eyes softened and Itsuki detachedly thought that his friend had never looked at _him_ like that. Something curled in the pit of his stomach.

"Mana, you're something so special," the Darklore continued wistfully. "Please, let me be to you what you are to me. Give me this chance to change our friendship into something else. Something equally precious."

_Equally precious,_ Itsuki thought and tried to ignore the buzzing in his ears. He did not know why he could so acutely feel Kusakabe's touch on his hands. There was no blood circulating to his head and he felt that if the grip on his hands loosened and broke away, he would faint.

"Mana, please do me the honour of accepting my courtship," the Darklore said and bowed over Itsuki's clasped hands. "I would not ask this of anyone but you and though I will completely accept your answer and regress to our former bond if you say no- though my feelings will never change- if you answer me with a yes, you will make a poor young lord happy." He looked at Itsuki with shining eyes. "Please consider your words and let your heart answer for you."

_Yes. Yes! Of course, yes; what else can I answer but yes! What else can I say to so dear a friend who brings me such joy whenever he is around me and brings light to me as if he wielded a torch? How else can I return the blessed affection you have for me? Yes, YES! How many times will I have to say it before I am satisfied? I accept your courtship with bliss and I'll have no one else._

The words formed on Itsuki's tongue but just as he was going to open his mouth to let them flow from his lips like jewelled butterflies, Haruna let out a squeal.

"Naoya, your face is all red!" she exclaimed and ruffled his hair impishly.

"Of course it is," Itsuki muttered, trying to restore his hair to some sort of order. "I'm supposed to be Lady Kirihara, am I not?" His thoughts fell into dust.

"Do you think that's all right?" Kusakabe asked hesitantly, now embarrassed that he let his feelings show so easily.

"All right? It's so _good_!" Haruna replied. "The perfect thing to say to anyone! You're so genuine, Lord Kusakabe, and Kirihara-san won't be able to decline your courtship! Don't you think so, Naoya?" The Darklore looked at his friend to see what he thought about it. He was expecting a wry smirk or a few flippant words of encouragement.

"Good," Itsuki said faintly. "Perfect thing, yes. Genuine…won't decline…" Kusakabe's eyes sharpened as he saw how pale his friend had become, how dazed his expression was.

"Naoya? Naoya!" Haruna ran to support him and lightly patted his cheek. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Itsuki replied and tried to free his elbow from her grasp but the motion made him totter. He drew a hand across his face. "I'm just tired, Haruna; I've had a busy day. I suppose the fatigue just…rushed on me all at once." He looked at his friend. "Go, ask her. I'll be…go on, ask her. I'm sorry. I'm tired. I'm not making sense, am I…I'm sorry. _I-I'm just so tired_." Itsuki brought his palm to his brow. Haruna took his arm securely.

"Relax, Naoya; we'll eat something at the party and it will make you feel better." Kusakabe opened the door again and Itsuki let his sister lead him out. The music and laughter seemed deafening to his ears. The Darklore took his other arm but Itsuki quickly pulled away. "Go on," he repeated. "I'll see how it goes from the invalid's chair." He produced a small weak smile and Kusakabe frowned but had no choice but to go as his friend waved him off. Itsuki watched his friend's dark jacket recede into the crowd.

"Naoya," Haruna said and let him to a chair. "Sit here while I bring you something from the table. You shouldn't push yourself so hard, brother. Will you be fine? Naoya…Naoya, I'm leaving to fetch you some food; will you be okay?" She was satisfied by a small nod; she patted his hand kindly then left. Itsuki sank back into the chair and closed his eyes.

_What's happening to me? When he looked at me, it felt as if my legs were robbed of their bones and sinews. I don't like this. Have I fallen ill? I'll have to talk to one of the court physicians, maybe. But no, I can't bear to use up the money I earn to pay the doctor's bills instead of my family's bills. I wonder if Kaname's found her yet, if he's already begun to speak to her. Have I fallen ill? But I don't feel…when he looks at me…_

_It's a beautiful evening; maybe he shall invite her to walk with him in the gardens and put forth his courtship there. I told him something to that effect but not to that length in detail. He has to figure it out on his own, I suppose; I can't be there with him all the time…can't be with him…He needs to learn so that one day, he won't need me anymore…he doesn't need me anymore…_  
And then suddenly,_ I have to go see him. I have to know what she says to him. I want to see him smile if she consents. I want to be close, to cheer him if she answers with rejection. I-I want…_

Itsuki rose from his chair unsteadily, using the backing for support until he got his bearings. Drawing in a breath, he set out purposefully across the glowing bright ballroom to the balconies that overlooked the gardens, to the stairwells that led down to its depths.

-

"Naoya! Here, eat this." Haruna came rushing back with a plate piled high with food. "You don't eat enough, brother; I'll stay here till you've finished all of it, do you understand me? Mother would…Naoya?" She stopped next to the empty chair and frowned, thinking she may have lost her way and come upon another section of the room. Another glance at her surroundings though confirmed that it was the very place she had left her brother. _Running off without telling me and sick too!_ "Naoya!" She scowled and concentrated. Then, faintly but growing stronger and brighter, a glowing trail that wound through the crowd materialised before her eyes. Taking the plate with her, she followed the traces of Itsuki's aura across the room.  
-  
_And gentle winds and waters near,  
Make music to the lonely ear.  
-_

A soft breeze buffeted Itsuki as he stepped out onto the round balcony. He saw no one else leaning against the balustrade or lifting up a face to enjoy the sweet air; he was alone, it seemed. He rested his elbows on the marble railing and looked over the extensive garden made into an eerie fire of reds, yellows, and blues by the light of the diminished sun that was just sinking into the horizon for a well-deserved sleep until the next day. By that light, he could just make out two figures walking along the path near a patch of ivory tulips. The smaller figure had an arm tucked into the arm of her companion. She turned often to look into his face and smiled as she chattered pleasantly. The other walked with her but with less grace; the dark lines that defined his shoulders and posture were tense and anxious._  
Ah, so he hasn't asked her yet._  
Itsuki looked into the disturbed surface of a babbling fountain below him and wondered what the two could be talking about. The sunset, maybe. The delightful party they were both attending. What each had done to fill his or her own time that day. Reminiscences about the past. Perhaps they talked about their acquaintances and their friends; Lady Kirihara would speak of Lady Miho, perhaps, and Lady Agrippina, daughter of the Sorceror Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa. And Kusakabe would speak of his sister and…perhaps of his old friend Naoya Itsuki?  
-  
_Each flower the dews have lightly wet,  
And in the sky the stars are met,  
-_

As Itsuki watched them, his gaze turned inward, his thoughts elsewhere. He remembered past springs, when Kusakabe would walk through the grounds and gardens in the Consortium Dome on fresh mornings. Itsuki would accompany him, usually with a lady friend on his arm. She would try to engage the Darklore in conversation, perhaps even attempt to flirt but Itsuki's friend always answered tersely and walked on with his hands in his pockets.

_Ironic how this spring, I'll be the one walking alone and he'll have Lady Kirihara on his arm…but she hasn't accepted him, yet,_ he amended, though secretly he knew it was only a matter of time. A petal floated past, a light pink jewel on the breeze.

"Itsuki-sama, what's your favourite flower?" Lady Chie had asked once when he had introduced himself to her for the first time.

"I don't really like flowers," he had replied, shrugging and rolling his eyes.

"You don't? But all I hear from other ladies is your talent for picking out their corsages."

"Ha, those are their stories; I have an eye for colour but I do not love my gift; in fact, I'm only prodded into utilising it by your court friends. I help them but I care not for it otherwise."

"But everyone has a favourite flower," she argued. "And I adore the perfumes they make from the blossoms."

"Eh, those scents seem too overpowering to me," Itsuki had said. "They all smell the same and make my head ache. But," -he brought his finger to his lips- "Don't tell them a word of what I've said; I'd rather have them think I enjoy helping them with their florets and posies."

-

A pastel yellow flower had sprouted up from the creeper winding up the wall and around the balcony. The morning rain had left little clear pearls on its petals and as it saw Itsuki, it bobbed up and down, drops of water sliding off the silken yellow.

He stared at it for a moment. "Why are you crying, friend?" he inquired. "Come now, the night is good, the air is pure, and I'm sure you'll find some friends to keep you company." He looked up at the sky as the stars twinkled down at him like tiny diamonds. "It's a clear night and you can see the stars; perhaps they might be willing to talk to you."  
-  
_And on the wave is deeper blue,  
And on the leaf a browner hue,  
-_

It was amazing how night could make everything so beautiful. The bright buttercups clustered together near a bench mellowed into a colour of a rich old tapestry. Violets blooming magnificently in brilliant shades became shadowed and mysterious, glowing with a dark inner light. Even the trees, which seemed so cheery and young during the day, now painted themselves with darker hues, chattering ancient secrets amongst themselves as the wind riffled their branches.

The darkness made Kusakabe melt even more into the night and made Kirihara in her white dress blaze up brighter than a candle. Itsuki saw when the two paused so she could point out a tree of delicate apple blossoms or a patch of tulips; he saw when his friend broke off a flower from an azalea bush to put in her hair. He saw when the pair stopped and Kusakabe took her hands in his own. Itsuki watched his mouth move as it shaped words earnestly and saw Kirihara's increasing blush.  
-  
_And in the Heaven that clear obscure  
So softly dark, and darkly pure,  
-_

Finally, he stood there on the balcony as Kusakabe waited anxiously for her answer. After a long moment, the E.G.O saw her smile and nod her head, her lips moving as they formed the letters. Y-E-S; she smiled and chattered too quickly for Itsuki to follow and then stood on her toes to embrace her friend. The young man at the balcony grinned. All his work had paid off; she had accepted Kusakabe's courtship. Things couldn't have turned out better; he had always chided his friend about never finding a wife. Though Itsuki knew he was being presumptuous, for the courtship hadn't even started yet, he knew Kirihara would make a good wife for Kusakabe.

As the two turned to return to the ballroom, Itsuki watched Kusakabe. The awkward stance was gone now; he moved gracefully and easily. Hopelessly blissful love had changed his face so drastically; the set brow had lifted and dark eyes were bright. He smiled tenderly and listened with a lover's attention as Kirihara talked joyfully. Their hands were clasped tightly as if they never wanted to let go. The wind tousled Kusakabe's dark hair and tugged at his jacket; he looked like a wind-blown elf spiriting through a garden on a night's jaunt. Itsuki didn't think he had ever looked so beautiful.

Itsuki quickly hid himself behind a pillar as they climbed up the steps of a neighbouring balcony and went back inside. The door shut and he sighed a long release. He hadn't wanted his presence there to spoil their moment. He walked back to the railing and leaned against it as he looked over the gardens. He was happy for his friend, really he was. But then…why had something inside him secretly hoped Kirihara would shake her head sorrowfully and mouth a one-syllable word? That would have ruined Kusakabe's happiness forever. So why… '_Please, let me be to you what you are to me.' _

Suddenly, he was disgusted with himself.

Itsuki felt around in his pocket for a packet of cigarettes and stuck one in his mouth. Bending his head slightly, he flicked his lighter. A small flame sparked just once in the darkness then sputtered out. After a few moments, he took the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled a languid stream of smoke. This is what he felt guiltiest about, his smoking habit. He felt like he had smoked away much of his family's income but his mother had said, "Here now, if you didn't have cigarettes to keep you alive you'd take recourse to coffee and gods know how expensive that's getting to be." His mother, oddly, did not put up much resistance when he continued to smoke despite her warnings; she knew some things in life were necessary.  
-  
_That follows the decline of day  
-_

"Naoya, I've finally found you," Haruna said as she emerged onto the balcony, pretending to have just come. She had seen Itsuki's face as Kirihara accepted Kusakabe's courtship. His face had fallen; after a short moment, he bit his lip and shook his head. Half-hearted elation had taken sorrow's place. She had seen what her brother had not noticed; a teardrop falling down his cheek softly as he watched his friend. She had seen his expression. It was gone now but Haruna knew what she had seen.

Love.

Yet he did not know it, himself.

"I've brought you your food," she said and held the plate out. She did not think she would reprimand him for running off; she knew there were other things on his mind.

Itsuki smiled gratefully and extinguished his cigarette. "Thanks, Haruna." He balanced it on the wide railing so that they could share. She stood beside him and they both looked ahead for some minutes as they ate little fruit tarts, candied fruits, and other delicacies.

"I-I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly," he said. "I…wanted to see the garden."

Haruna smiled and patted his arm with sticky sugar-coated fingers. "I understand."

And they stood at the balcony eating from the plate and looking over the garden till the bells chimed for midnight.

-_  
As twilight melts beneath the moon away.  
-_

_

* * *

- _  
I will punch anyone who says Itsuki has a sister-complex; they're close, okay? Deal with it. Heh.

-

**Flower Symbolism:** Azaleas mean "Your blush has won me." None of the other flowers in the chapter are really supposed to mean anything. And I KNOW that a lot of the flowers I'm using can't grow in the same climates but oh well! Waving creative license Wait, no, that's my learner's permit…and my workplace's business card, and my CVS Extra Care card…and, my Key Club card? How that get here?

-

Also, I have no idea why I typed up that conversation between Lady Chie and Itsuki; I think I was just trying to make the paragraph longer! Please, if anyone understands what facet of Itsuki's personality this is supposed to show, tell me. I'd like to know, myself!

-

I'll put up the answer for the flower symbolism in the first chapter after some other people have joined the S.S. contest. Meanwhile:

There is another what-the-hell-how-did-I-subconsciously-make-this-up symbolism in this chapter. Let me bestow a hint on thee; it is in the paragraph after "_Yeah, doesn't it seem so?" Itsuki retorted sarcastically. "Tell me, what will you say?"_

Not only must thou find the symbol but explain it, you must! Winner gets…Itsuki, for a whole week! (pulls Itsuki into the picture)

Itsuki: Hey, what? This isn't right! I'm not some kind of stupid door prize!

FM: (poke) Shut up or I'll kill off Kusakabe.

Itsuki: (gulp) Your wish is my duty, master.

FM: Damn right.


	4. Lovers' Infiniteness

Okay, I might have confused some of you in the last chapter. The symbolism is in this paragraph:

_Kusakabe was silent as they walked on; he stopped for a second and turned. "Through this door," he said and led on. The music from the ballroom, once faint, was growing louder. He stopped again after a minute and opened an unobtrusive door. Light, chattering voices, and the lively waltz of the orchestra steamed forth from the doorway. _

_"I knew I always liked your friend, Naoya," Kana commented as she stepped out. Hidden by a low drapery and a large potted fern as she emerged, she entered the party virtually unseen. Just as Haruna and Kaname were about to follow her, Itsuki stopped the other young man with a hand on his shoulder. The door shut in front of them._

-

Another contestant hath joined the competition. Spellcasterz says this about the flower symbolism from chapter 1:

Now about the symbolism with the wind blown flower. I think the small white flower is how Itsuki's heart will be later on in your story, ripped and torn: "A wind blown flower cartwheeled past him and he snatched it up, putting the poor wilting torn thing behind his ear." Hearts are fragile things. Easily broken. That made me think about the tragic side of love, especially as Itsuki's love is unrequited right now as it seems Kaname has feelings for Mana.

And the last two sentences of the first chapter: "Kusakabe's eyes caught a gleam of white and looked beside him to find the small white blossom Itsuki had snatched from the wind. Carefully, the Darklore tucked into one of the buttonholes of his jacket and turned to watch his friend's dark figure melt into the shadows of the woodland." It made me think

that Kaname is holding Itsuki's heart in his hands or will later on. He has the power to either keep it safe or to break it. And best of all, Kaname doesn't know it yet. I foreshadow a lot of angst to come Itsuki's way. Especially with the kingdom's attitude

toward love not of a man and woman as we see with the two men who were executed for something they couldn't control.

-

Yay. Clap. Clap. Thanks for joining our contestah!

Well, I'll dish the goss about the symbolism behind the flower. Ready, Itsuki?

Itsuki: Whatever.

FM: In the beginning, the flower blows past:

Itsuki: Do I have to?

FM: Yes.

Itsuki: Gah! Fine. It symbolises me taking up another task, in this case, teaching Kaname to dance.

FM: What else, 'Su?

Itsuki: Also, it symbolises me in a way. It is a symbol of me being blown around by my life and the people around me. When I save the flower from the wind, I kind of symbolise Kaname, who is my only secure line and true friend. Possibly, the flower is also a turning point. After snatching up the flower, I offer to teach Kaname to dance, which leads to my first stirrings realisation that I…I..

FM: Love Kusakabe!

Itsuki: (blush) Yeah, that. So, it's a life-altering thing. With the flower comes my realisations, my jealousy, etc.

FM: That was very good, 'Su.

Itsuki: Thanks.

FM: Now, MOVING ON!

Itsuki: Damn.

FM: The symbolism when the light hits the flower is:

Itsuki: Like my personality. Kind of raggedy but-

FM: -When it's in the right light, it shines! It's beautiful!

Itsuki: (blush) And it's right before I tell Kaname I would be willing to take him on as a dance student. The light shining on the raggedy flower shows my inner goodness.

FM: The symbolism at the end when he leaves behind the flower is…

Itsuki: (grumble) My heart.

FM: Yes, o people! Aaand…

Itsuki: (mutter) My subconscious crush on my best friend, shown by me leaving a flower behind for him instead of just giving it to him, which would show a conscious knowledge of my crush…can I go home now?

-

Hah. Soo, you people were somewhat right in one way or another.

So anyway, a thank you to the reviewers of Ch. 3 and good luck, you S.S. contest people!

Welcome to my two new reviewers!

-

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOVERS' INFINITENESS by John Donne nor do I own the Juvenile Orion TGC character Douman Ashiya. Oh yes, and from another chapter, I own the town of Sundence. Also, I own the cute little town of Carenza and the Republic Iotna.**

**

* * *

-**

_IF yet I have not all thy love,  
Dear, I shall never have it all;_

_-_

"I don't think we've been introduced properly, Lord Itsuki," Lady Kirihara said politely and held out her hand. Kusakabe's silver courtship ring glinted on her finger.

Itsuki bowed over it. "Please don't feel that you have to be so formal," he replied over the party's din. "You're my best friend's…"_ Childhood friend? Love?_ "…sweetheart," he said instead.

She blushed. Itsuki presumed she had not grown used to her new status yet although it had been weeks since she had accepted his proposal.

"I've heard much about you," she told him.

_Really? He talks about me?_ Itsuki kept his face smooth. "I hope nothing too ghastly."

Kirihara laughed. "No, merely some of your exploits and past conversations."

He felt a pang. Those were memories he and Kusakabe had created; he felt awkward knowing that she had been told of them. He felt like his friend had betrayed him. _That was our friendship; why should he tell anyone else about it?_ But he knew he was being petulant and clingy; Kusakabe had someone more important in his life now and what should it matter that she knew about her lover's past friendships?

When he had first seen her earlier that evening beside Kusakabe, he had felt the sudden hot urge to hate her. But he could never hate Lady Kirihara; she was sweet-tempered and compassionate to everyone and everything in a way he had never encountered before. In a way he could never possibly hope to be. He was fascinated. How could he have looked overlooked this gentle flower? He had spoken with her a few times before and she had charmed him then too. Now, he wondered why he had never tried to befriend her. Not just be an acquaintance, 'meet her and charm her,' but truly befriend her.

He tried to remember when he had first seen her; she might have been at court for five or six months at the least. He tried to think back. She had attended Lord Isshin Shiba's wedding a year or so back. Yes, she had been at Lord Seimei Katsuragi's inauguration ball when he had been made Prime Minister of Defence and Itsuki had vaguely remembered her somewhere in the background at Lady Miho's sixteenth birthday party.

Then as he tried to go back a few years more, he drew a blank.

"Lady Kirihara," he began but she interrupted him with a soft teasing smile.

"Don't feel that you must be so formal," she mimicked. "After all, you're my suitor's best friend." Then she laughed her quiet gentle chuckle and looked at him with bright eyes.

Itsuki grinned wryly. "True. Then, _Kirihara_, how long have you been at court? My memory only goes back to three years ago."

"Then your memory is very good," Kirihara replied. "I came to the Consortium Dome three years ago after my aunt married a minor noble at court and we came back here."

"Really?" Itsuki was interested. "Which noble?"

"Oh, I don't know if you've heard of him or not; he comes and goes. At court, he's just called Tracer."

Itsuki's gaze sharpened. "Tracer? The maverick demon hunter that broke from the Wiz-dom faction?"

Kirihara nodded. "Yes."

Itsuki suddenly wished for a cigarette but didn't want to smoke in front of her. "Hmm." Tracer. Did he want a self-proclaimed mercenary connected to Mana Kirihara? He wondered what kind of woman had managed tie the infamous Tracer down. Did the man really love Kirihara's aunt or were there ulterior motives to his actions? Then Itsuki shrugged. "Well, I suppose he's harmless enough." _I should keep an eye on him._

"What do you mean, Itsuki-kun?"

"Nothing, forget it." He changed the subject. "So, tell me about them."

She beamed. "They're very happy together. She doesn't mind that his job calls him away from home so much. She met him when he was in Carenza, where we used to live."

"A typical romantic story," Itsuki said, smiling at her dreamy expression.

"Oh, very typical," she agreed. "She was a new teacher at the university then and didn't have much money to spend on coach fare so she decided to walk home. It started to rain when she had gone halfway and she had forgotten to bring her umbrella."

"And she was suddenly confronted by a handsome stranger who demanded why she was out walking in the rain," Itsuki continued for her.

"Something like that," Kirihara said. "And he gave her his umbrella then walked away without even acknowledging her 'thank you'."

"So after a day or so, of course she wanted to return it," Itsuki replied reasonably.

"Of course."

"How did she find him? It would be a nice ending if she found his address in the umbrella tag."

"It would be," Kirihara answered. "But of course real life doesn't work that way. She actually met him again a few months later in the university library. The first thing she said was, 'I still have your umbrella; thank you so much for your generosity,' and next she said, 'Here, you're not a student; you're not allowed to be on our campus. I'll have to ask you to leave.'" Kirihara broke down into peals of laughter. "That's my aunt- shaking someone's hand with one arm while slapping him with the other!" Itsuki chuckled too. Kirihara's laughter was so infectious.

"I see your charm hasn't lost its edge, Itsuki," Kusakabe said dryly. Itsuki turned quickly.

"No," he replied. "She was the one charming _me_."

Kusakabe looked at her and smiled faintly. "I'm not surprised," he murmured. She blushed. He smiled even more shyly and reached out to touch her hand.

Itsuki looked from one to the other and cleared his throat self-consciously. "Oh, there's Caius Cadmus. I haven't spoken with him for a while; excuse me. A pleasure to meet you, Lady Kirihara."

"A pleasure to meet you, Itsuki-kun," she replied distractedly but she wasn't looking at him. Her gaze was reserved for Kusakabe alone. Itsuki walked away quickly. He felt like he was getting in the way, like an oddly shaped piece in a puzzle that was supposed to fit together. He looked back once. His friend was kissing Kirhara's hand with an ardent light in his dark eyes. Itsuki turned away convulsively. He had to take his mind off them. He felt so…suffocated. He doubled his speed in an effort to reach the group of lords and ladies to his left.

"No no," a young man was saying to them. His dark blonde hair stuck out at odd angles exasperatedly. "My first name isn't Caius; the family name just precedes everything else in my title."

"Caius-san," Itsuki said as he reached him. "Hello, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while." He shook hands with the other man and easily blended in with the group. "So, what were we discussing?"

Lady Satsu grinned mischievously. "Cai-kun wants to convince us that his title-

"-Ah, here's a voice of reason," Caius Cadmus cut in. "Tell me, Jackal; what's my first name?"

Itsuki knew what it was but decided to cater to the group. "Why, it's Caius, isn't it?" he asked innocently.

"Gah! I give up!" the other exclaimed and the rest of them laughed affectionately.

"So Jackal, what have you been doing these past days?" Lady Satsu inquired politely after the laughter had faded. "We haven't seen much of you at the parties and dances."

Itsuki shrugged and gave his generic answer of, "Ah, you know me; when I have other work, I don't notice anything else," then broke in with, "Lady Satsu, you're looking especially lovely this afternoon."

Indeed, the elegant gold shift Satsu was wearing contrasted against her chocolate brown skin very beautifully. "Thank you," she replied. "And I don't believe your story about work."

Itsuki raised a brow. "Don't you?"

"Well, rumour has it that you've been helping Erebus with his courtship," Harut said.

"I don't know where Rumour would get such an idea," Itsuki replied.

Harut knew better than to believe him. "You did a good job of it; I can barely recognise him from that dark brooding shadow he used to be."

"I barely did anything."

"You taught him to dance," Douman Ashiya observed as he looked towards the ballroom floor. Itsuki turned to see what he was talking about.  
-

_I cannot breathe one other sigh, to move,  
Nor can entreat one other tear to fall;_

-

He caught sight of Kusakabe and Kirihara dancing in each other's arms. The clumsy awkward Darklore that Itsuki had reprimanded many times had been replaced. Love had remedied faltering feet and made turns and bows elegant and graceful. Kusakabe appeared to float on the marble floor like a bird floats on curling air currents in the sky. Itsuki was so surprised, his heart twitched painfully for a moment. Then, for no cause whatsoever, he suddenly remembered how it had felt to clasp his friend against him when he had taught Kusakabe how to dance in the Itsukis' parlour. Suddenly, Itsuki felt cold without the arm around his waist and a heart beating against his. His neck missed the warm breath that had once ghosted over it. His fingers itched to tangle themselves in soft dark hair.

"Jackal!"

Itsuki's shoulders jolted in surprise. "Yes, Lady Karin?" he asked.

"You haven't been attending," she reprimanded. "I believe I asked you five times how your sister is doing."

"Ah, then I apologise five times. Haruna's well. She's been working like mad on her garden."

"You do have a very lovely garden, Jackal. It's so peaceful and calming," Lady Satsu complimented. Itsuki barked with laughter.

"And I have no right to take credit for any of it," he replied. "Haruna does all the work. Now please, I beg of you, don't turn the subject of the conversation on gardens; there are those of us here who can't discern a spade from a bag of seed."

"I vouch for that," Harut said, smiling. "I say we all inquire about Cai-kun's job and pester him with questions."

"A good idea," Itsuki conceded.

"I think not!" Caius interjected with some alarm.

"Come now, Cai-kun; don't be so negative," Lady Karin protested. "There must be something you want to tell us about the Ministry of Defence."

"And hurry it up; we're bored," Lord Douman added dryly. Caius favoured him a withering look and didn't reply.

"Stoic," Lady Karin analysed. "At least tell us if you work with any handsome young men we would want to meet." As Caius opened his mouth to criticise such an outrageous request, another interrupted him.

"Hie, as if he would know, Karin!" her brother said. "Now, as for attractive young women, I think-

"-Douman!" Lady Karin berated her sibling. "What a thing to say!"

"No worse than your question," Lord Douman muttered.

"I remember you were worried about your lack of experience when you appealed to those mouldering defence ministers for a job," Harut recalled, ignoring Douman and Karin Ashiya. "How has it turned out?"

"Better than I expected, actually," Caius said, relieved to at last answer serious question. "But that's a bit of an old question, isn't it? It's been a while since I first accepted that job."

"Really?" Harut was puzzled. "How long ago was that?"

"Oh…a few months before Jackal and the Eura first fought in the arena."

"That long?" the Eraser was thunderstruck. "Why, that's nearly eleven months ago!"

"But you were away on the delegation trip up north for two or three seasons, weren't you?" Itsuki reminded Harut. "And Caius got into the habit of shutting himself up in that murky old ministry building. I haven't seen you at a social event in months, Caius-san. Don't turn into me," the E.G.O advised him. "There are enough workaholics at court,"

Caius bowed deferentially and said in his most sardonic and exaggerated tone. "I'll try not to, Milord Jackal."

Lady Satsu clucked her tongue and smacked him with her fan. "Saucy young twit," she muttered.

Caius grinned back. "Not so young anymore, I'm afraid." Lady Satsu's fan descended on him again.

"Now that we're through abusing him," Harut said in a forced gentle tone. "I'd still like a better answer to my question, if you please."

Caius replied, "A more thorough answer?" He thought for a moment, " I'm really not much of a help at the ministry; most of the time, I'm ashamed to say, I feel as if I've been given a sinecure. I thought the ministers and I wouldn't get along because they're all so old but actually they're quite happy to help me and look over the occasional mistake. Well, most of them anyway; some are just as disagreeable and foul-tempered as I thought they'd be."

"But working all day with people who are old enough to be your grandparents must get monotonous sometimes," Harut observed.

"They're young at heart," Caius replied. "Sometimes they _are_ too old-fashioned for my taste but of course Lord Katsuragi is also around and he talks with me sometimes."

"Lord Katsuragi," Harut echoed. "I had forgotten. The youngest Prime Minister of Defence the Consortium Dome has seen in centuries. How does it feel to talk to a celebrity?"

"He's very kind to me," Caius said thoughtfully. "And even though he's my elder he treats me as if I were his equal." Caius grinned suddenly. "And I am the fifth son of a minor barony; I don't really deserve any respect or honourifics yet he still insists upon calling me, 'Esquire Caius.' Class ranks and their according conducts don't seem to have an impression on him; he doesn't even raise himself above the ministers, though his family is much older and more prestigious than theirs." Caius nodded. "Lord Katsuragi definitely deserves all the respect and admiration he gets."

"Why, thank you, though I'm sure you embellish my points too much."

Caius froze. He turned slowly. "H-High Lord Katsuragi!"

"Esquire Caius," the Prime Minister of Defence acknowledged with a shade of amusement. Lady Karin replied with a sharp intake of breath. Itsuki wondered why. Katsuragi wasn't someone society would call handsome. But, Haruna had once argued with him, in conversation Katsuragi's force of personality brought a light to his eyes and animated his face very attractively. His character burned so brightly at the core of his being that everyone else could not help but notice and adore. Unlike many of the other nobles in government positions, Lord Katsuragi had depended on his intelligence and not his looks, to rise to the top. Her brother had replied that he respected the Prime Minister already.

Itsuki followed Lady Karin's wide amber gaze. Lord Katsuragi's eyes were twinkling like twin stars and his mouth curled gently in helpless mirth.

There it was again, that bright core shining out. Itsuki guessed that even a picky woman like Lady Karin might have found the plain Prime Minister comely when he blazed like that, so imperceptibly, so unconsciously.

Then again, maybe Lady Karin had exclaimed because she had never seen a foreigner before. The Consortium Dome nobles didn't see much of Katsuragi's type at court. His skin wasn't delicately pale like the Ashiyas', rich velvety brown like Lady Satsu's, or golden-brown like Lady Li Mei's. Instead, it was like a milky cup of cinnamon drink. Even the faint gold part of his forearms where the sun seldom touched had a light dusting of spice bronze. He wore his dark brown hair slightly long and no one could decide whether his eyes were dark unfathomable brown or forest-in-shadow green.

"Ah, High Lord; I've heard many good things about you from Caius-san," Itsuki said quickly, trying to cover for Caius's speechless mortification.

"Most of them he's already overheard," Lord Douman said tactlessly. Lady Satsu frowned at him.

"Er, how are you this evening, High Lord?" she asked. Silently, she had joined Itsuki in his fight to reassemble Caius's dignity.

Katsuragi laughed. "If you want the truth, tired!" He smiled. "When I looked through my office for the first time, I wondered why the previous Prime Ministers had wanted a suite of rooms in the back of the office. Now, I've found that out quickly enough; I don't think I've been able to leave the Ministry for days."

"Too much work to be done, especially now," Caius mumbled.

"What's that, Cai-kun?" Lady Karin asked.

Immediately, he flushed and sent an apologetic look at Katsuragi. "I'm sorry, it just came out of my mouth. I apologise, Lord Katsurag-"

"-No harm done, Esquire Caius," he answered gently. Then, he addressed Lady Karin. "Regretfully, some things cannot be divulged for security purposes, Lady Ashiya. I hope you'll understand and forgive us."

"Oh." She nodded, unable to argue with his soft smile. "Yes, I see." Caius looked relieved.

The Prime Minister smiled again then was suddenly forced to cover a yawn. "I suppose it's an evening of smiling politely and staving off complaints about work, for me. Though it is inexcusably rude, I'm very much afraid I shall have to take leave of you all," he said and bowed. Everyone else returned the gesture.

"So, Esquire Caius, it's head up, eyes alert, and curses about the ministry kept between your teeth, agreed?" Lord Katsuragi said wryly.

Caius nodded shortly, suppressing a grin. "Yes, sir."

The Prime Minister nodded approvingly. "Good man." Then, with a last look in Lady Karin's direction, he left with as much grace as he had come.

"He looked at me; did you see? He looked at me!" Lady Karin exclaimed as soon as he was out of an earshot.

"You'll bat your eyelashes at any man who looks at you twice," her brother said disgustedly. "If you're so interested in the Prime Minister, why not ask Cai-kun about him? …Cai-kun?"

But Caius's attention was somewhere else. "Ah, Minister Fujii!" he called and bowed as he saw woman in dark robes pass by. She turned at the sound of her name and one lock of white hair came loose from her bun. She tucked it behind her ear absently.

"Good day, Caius," she replied and joined him. "I suppose these are your friends?"

"Yes," Caius said and introductions went around. "This is Minister Fujii; she works in the Ministry of Defence," he added. Her face bore prominent wrinkles and age spots but her eyes were still bright and young above sagging pouches of skin, her tongue still sharp.

"We're meeting everyone from your ministry, Caius-san," Itsuki said. He indicated the woman. "Minister Fujii, here; Prime Minister Katsuragi…"

"Ah yes, I've seen him, too; Lord and Lady Nor invited him. Did he stop and talk to you?" the minister inquired.

"Only after he overheard Cai-kun extolling his virtues," Lord Douman replied.

"Which he felt he had to disclaim to the utmost degree. He's too modest by far," Caius grumbled.

"And what about you?" Minister Fujii retorted. She rolled her eyes. "If I know this man as well as I think, he's told you he's a useless loiterer who skulks about the ministry and gets in the way."

"Something along that tune," Lord Douman agreed. Fujii let out a short laugh.

"He's the most efficient Ministry Assistant we've had the good luck to hire."

"Minister Fujii!" Caius protested.

"You be quiet," she told him good-naturedly. "It's no exaggeration." She clapped a hand on Caius's shoulder. "He's willing to work in the records room after he completes his other tasks. It's not an easy job."

"What is the records room?" Lady Karin asked curiously.

"Cai-kun never tells us anything," Harut added helpfully.

Minister Fujii grinned at him. "It's a giant room we've used since the Department of Defence was founded. All our messages, telegrams, and invoices are in storage there but no one has taken any time to sort them. Our ancestors don't seem to have been concerned either; we've found old truce letters from the Cross-siege War shoved into the backs of cabinets and important international transactions crunching underfoot. It's an absolute mess, a sort of ministry curse that hangs about and haunts us. Caius made considerable progress with his shelving and sorting in the Records Room during his first weeks and we looked on with a sort of horrified fascination; he earned a considerable amount of respect from us." She frowned at him gently. "which quickly increased after we found him staying all night at the ministry to carry on his work."

"Cai-kun!" Lady Satsu said disapprovingly.

"I haven't stayed after hours a single day, this week," Caius muttered. "because my mother's ill. You know that, Minister."

Fujii scowled and chose to ignore him. "Racking up as many hours as the Prime Minister; we had a habit of walking into the Prime Minister's office at closing time to say our goodbyes before we left. Now we've got to run around and look for you too." Lord Douman had to laugh at this.

"But at least Lord Katsuragi has a suite of rooms at his disposal." Minister Fujii went on. "Why, we came in early one morning and found Caius sprawled in an office chair- dead asleep! Then he wakes up and has the nerve to say, 'Ah, hello; got a bit of work done last night.'" She glared at him. "Well, I was furious. We have our years behind us, Caius, but you're too young to be wasting your life in a dusty smothering old government building."

"I suppose you've given Lord Katsuragi the same lecture," Caius replied dryly.

"But of course," she said. "And he waved me off just like I know you will. 'This is my choice,' he told me. I told him it was a bad decision and he laughed. 'Perhaps,' he agreed with me." Minister Fujii snorted in an undignified way. "There will come a day when both of you will regret disregarding my advice."

"I already regret asking you for it," he replied jokingly.

"You didn't," she pointed out. "I gave it freely. Young people," she said resignedly. "'There's the door,' I feel like telling you every time you come in for work, 'You're free to leave at any time and never look back. In fact, I suggest you leave now, while you can.'"

"Are you trying to fire me, Minister?" Caius asked slyly.

"Damn fool, I'm trying to save you," she rejoined angrily.

"Then I thank you for that," he replied with a smile.

-

_And all my treasure, which should purchase thee,  
Sighs, tears, and oaths, and letters I have spent;_

_-_

_Dear Itsuki-san…_no, _Most estimable Itsuki-san, please commend me to your sister and mother. _ Dah, no! _I hope your sister's and mother's health is well. It was delightful to converse with you at Lady and Lord Bremdoffe's party, the last time we met._

Pyrrha exclaimed with frustration and scribbled out her writing. Everything she wrote sounded so wrong, so childish. She sighed. Itsuki was so articulate and clever; winning him with words probably wasn't going to work. She imagined him laughing over her attempts to discreetly flatter, to modestly highlight her own fine points. Not that he would scorn her openly- Itsuki was too tactful and considerate to do that- but the derision would be there all the same, simmering under the surface. Traces of embarrassment, apology. It would never be the same between them. She crumpled up the paper.

And yet…

She pulled at the blanket slipping off her shoulder and smoothed the paper out with a cold clammy hand. _I want to tell him._

Pyrrha coughed raggedly. Her strength ebbed and waned; her nose was raw from the incessant attention of tissues. _Why oh _why_ did I have to be ill at the _only_ party Itsuki-san will attend this month?_

She silently cursed her fates.

Her mother entered, clipping on her bejewelled earrings. Lady Bremynstae had reddish hair like her daughter but the older woman's was a paler weaker tint. She wore it in a mass of braids and coils; her hairstyle was affixed with gold pins studded with sapphires that were the same dark smoky colour as her dress.

"Are you certain you cannot come with me dear?" her mother inquired gently, laying a hand on Pyrrha's forehead. "Lord Nor's parties are always so lovely."

_No! I don't want Itsuki-san to see me like this, with my eyes watering, my nose blotchy, and my pockets stuffed with kerchiefs._ "I feel so tired, Mama." Well, it wasn't a complete lie.

"As you like it," her mother replied. She stroked Pyrrha's hair thoughtfully. All of a sudden, she added, "It gladdens me to see you adjusting so well at court. I know I summoned you here very suddenly; I missed you so much, daughter. But _you_ must miss the family and your old friends back home."

"Oh, but everyone here is so interesting, Mama," she said with as much gusto as she thought she could manage without sounding insincere or breaking out into another coughing fit. She wanted her mother to leave before she fathomed what Pyrrha had been doing out of bed and at her writing desk.

"You've made friends, I hope?" Lady Bremnstae inquired anxiously.

Pyrrha thought about cheery Haruna Itsuki: _'I hope we'll become friends, Lady Pyrrha,' _wry self-ridiculing Lord Proteus:_ 'Finally, someone interesting to talk with!' _birdlike Lady Chie:_ 'Oh my, I've heard such wonderful things about you! You simply must come to the tea I'm hosting today; all my friends are invited,' _and gentle Lady Kirihara: _'Welcome to our court, Lady Pyrrha; please don't hesitate to call on me if you need help or a friend to talk to.'_

"Yes," Pyrrha responded, smiling a little. She had.

But then Pyrrha thought of Itsuki smiling at her and bowing over her hand. _'Call me Itsuki,'_ and the attention he always lavished on her, the compliments he bestowed.

"Ah, what's that blush for?" Lady Bremynstae asked wickedly. Pyrrha looked at her in alarm. "You've found different sorts of friends at court, haven't you?" her mother teased. Pyrrha looked away and pulled the blanket up around her ears. "Mama!" Her voice was meant to sound indignant but the blanket muffled it and she sounded silly. Her mother laughed.

"I'll return at three," Lady Bremynstae said, still smiling and dusted off her gloves. "Please try to eat a bit of lunch, dear." Pyrrha reluctantly agreed. Her mother kissed her cheek and left. Pyrrha didn't see her leave; her sight had turned inward. Instead, she saw Itsuki's face as she had seen him at a Shadow Tournament. He had a small cut over his cheekbone but his smile was wide. Manic. Challenging. He could take on the world and come out victorious. Then she saw him at the Bremdoffe estate party, talking with everyone easily. Bold and reckless. Brave. She wanted to seize on his confidence, his aura, before it slipped her grasp, leaving her as she was. Fearful. Timid. Insecure. She wanted to be worthy of him.

Pyrrha heard silk-shod feet softly padding down the stairs. The front door opening. Shutting. The click clack of carriage wheels rumbling over the cobblestones outside.

Silence. She could hear the clock perched on her nightstand ticking loudly. Then, the airy sound of a crumpled up letter landing in the rubbish bin beside Pyrrha's writing desk.

_I don't need to write to him,_ Pyrrha thought as some of that borrowed confidence flared in her bloodstream. _I'll just tell him, myself._

_-_

_Yet no more can be due to me,  
Than at the bargain made was meant._

_-_

"Ah, found you, Itsuki!" Kirihara exclaimed from his shoulder.

"Erebus, Lady Kirihara- good afternoon," Lady Satsu said. "How are the two of you?"

"Well, thank you," Kirihara said. Kusakabe just let her answer for him. He turned his dark eyes on his friend.

"Itsuki," he nodded his head.

Itsuki nodded back. "Kaname." New groups formed around them. Lady Karin paid Kirihara some compliments on her dress and Minister Fujii engaged the two of them in a conversation about the changing fashions and fabrics at court. Lady Satsu, Harut, and Lord Douman started discussing the upcoming ambassadorial visit scheduled by neighbouring Republic Iotna.

Itsuki looked around and observed them, laughing and talking. He knew they weren't really his friends; he couldn't depend on them in a time of necessity, nor could he ever confide in them.

Karin and Douman Ashiya were the easily the least reliable; yes, they tried to act like many of the other nobles at court but Itsuki knew the family was in debt. All of the finery and opulence was just show. They were sparrows wearing the feathers of peacocks.

_But my dear Ashiyas; no matter how many feathers you wear, you can never become a peacock, yourself._

Lady Karin, for all her flirting, would have to marry high and rich to alleviate her family's financial problems. Lord Douman was the elder of the two so the family inheritance would go to him. _I think the Ashiya family is caught between keeping him single and hoarding their scant wealth to themselves or marrying him off and foisting off their problems on someone else._ But Itsuki, the nobles at court, and possibly, even the Ashiyas themselves, knew that no one would ever marry Karin or Douman.

_That's what all this 'love and romance' is all about_, Itsuki thought, disgusted. _It's all about money and power._

Harut was an Eraser and cared nothing for the affairs of mortals. _He only interacts with us as an amusing diversion. Even the most powerful Factions probably seem only like children to him._

Lady Satsu was in the middle-class section of nobility- not too rich, not too poor. Her family, the Enomotos, had come to the Consortium Dome only a generation ago. They were rumoured to be descended from rich merchants but everyone was too polite to ask them directly if it was true. Itsuki always saw her at every event, every party; she was trying to make herself known and collect acquaintances to heighten Enomoto prestige. Whenever he spoke with the family, it was like watching a squirrel try to scurry up a wall. He could almost hear the pathetic pitiable scratching of claws as they tried to claw up the social rank. He didn't know why Lady Satsu bothered with Itsuki; his family was too indigent to give her family a boost up. _But though I may not be wealthy, I'm still one of the most well-known person at court; perhaps she means to connect herself with other nobles through me._

His gaze settled on the young man near him. _Mother was right; I only have one true friend here, after all._ He saw the glint of silver from the band on Kirihara's finger. He saw how Kusakabe tried to stay close to her in case she called for him, always made sure he knew where she was. _And now, I've lost him, too._ Itsuki felt a rush of bitter loneliness come over him.

_I agreed to help him win Kirihara. I worked with him on dancing and conversation. Back then, we were with each other probably from the time the sun rose till the time it set and the stars came out. All that work, and now she is his. _

_And my role is finished so now I am nothing._

_But…Kaname isn't like that. He really cares about me…just, not as much as he cares about Kirihara. I don't…I don't ever do anything just to gain an advantage from it; he asked for my help and I gave it. Now, he's happy; he's with her. But…what did I get out of it? _

_Not even a 'thank you, Itsuki'! What did I give up? The times we always used to spend by the lake. The long conversations we used to have. Everything's gone. Everything's ruined._

He glanced at Kusakabe, who was gazing at Kirihara so softly, so tenderly.

_But he's happy. That's my prize… though it's not mine to take. It's his, to share with Kirihara. _

It did not make him feel better.

"Jackal." Caius had been wandering around and engaging himself in some of the conversations but none of them interested him for long. He joined Kusakabe and Itsuki. Caius Cadmus; Itsuki knew very little about him. Caius had a very low rank but he didn't seem to care. He had a job in the Ministry of Defence and worked just as diligently as any commoner. In that sense, Itsuki felt a sort of understanding pass between them; they were both hardworking nobles trying to support their families and survive. Itsuki had met him once or twice in the past and he seemed like a good sort. Itsuki didn't know; he was still forming an opinion about Caius.

_-_

_If then thy gift of love were partial,  
That some to me, some should to others fall,_

-

"I've heard you and Erebus are matched up to fight in the Shadow Games next week," Caius said.

"I'll beat him this time," Itsuki replied, to which Kusakabe gave a distracted scoff. It had always managed to pry a few acidic words from him before. Itsuki followed his gaze to Kirihara.

"Kaname," he said. The other did not reply. "Kaname," he said a little more sharply.

"Hmm?" The dark eyes were foggy and uncomprehending. "Oh, Itsuki."

Itsuki almost snapped at him then: _Yes, Kaname, Itsuki! Your friend_. He remembered the courtship lessons from what seemed like so long ago. _'Dammit, Kaname; you did it again! Look at me when I talk to you; Kirihara won't appreciate that, you know!' _

_I don't appreciate it, either._

Somehow, he managed to control the hot anger boiling through his veins. He was in company at a party; to make a scene would be most distasteful.

"I'm leaving," he said and tried to curb the sharp edge in his voice. "I have a lot of work to do."

"Must you leave so early, Itsuki?" Caius said. "Your one of Lady Bremdoffe's favourites; I doubt she'll be pleased."

"I'll get back into her good graces later," Itsuki replied. "I really must go." He looked at Kusakabe. "Maybe we could meet up again this evening." _By the lake, like we always did._

"Sorry, Itsuki; Mana and I are going to the theatre. Maybe you could…"

_No, don't even offer me an invitation to come along. You don't really want me there._ Itsuki shrugged and smiled. "Good to see you again, anyway." He didn't even bother to shake his hand; he just left.

He had cleared the entrance hall and begun to make his way to the Itsuki house when he suddenly went off the path and broke into a run. He didn't know where he was going until he parted the branches to find himself near an open space undisturbed by trespassers, where an old gnarled tree bent over a small lake. He could not remember the number of times he and Kusakabe had come here. It seemed that those days were coming to an end. He threw himself down by the grassy slope in a shower of leaves.

_He doesn't mean to do this to me. He doesn't mean it._ Itsuki pulled a single cigarette out of the packet in his jacket pocket. _But I can't deny that it doesn't hurt._

He looked to the empty patch of grass beside him. "Finally, I can have a good smoke without you to snatch it from my mouth and lecture me about my bad habit." He laughed. There was no humour in it.

He flicked his lighter and breathed in his precious toxic smoke. He expelled it with a breath and watched it ghost over the water's surface and rise into the air.

-

_Dear, I shall never have thee all._

_-_

_

* * *

_  
Hello to one of my cool new reviewers, Harushi Karasunaki, PerFect ZeaL (whose name I just now found, oops!) and Leopardus Pardalis. I hope you'll join our S.S. contestah!

Kasumi Sora, thanks for putting this story on your C2.

Also, I introduced some new people in this chapter. Two people that just came out of nowhere are Caius Cadmus and Seimei Katsuragi.

-

Katsuragi: Hello

Caius: (wave)

FM: I created them to keep all of you informed about the political situation in Itsuki's country and these two should know because they're all government-y and stuff.

Katsuragi: We're all government-y and stuff.

FM: That's right!

Caius: And FM made me Roman.

FM: Heck yeah!

Caius: One of the first Roman-named people in the story.

FM: Better believe it!

Caius: (thoughtfully) I think FM named me after Caius Cassius, from Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Julius Caesar. Except…I never plotted against and killed anybody.

FM: Oooh, foreshadowing! Watch out, Seimei-sama; he might try to kill you!

Katsuragi: …time to go…(walks off)

Caius: No, wait, sir! Hey!

FM: Um…yeah. I'm pretty sure he's gone.

Caius: (muttering) I'm going to get fired because of you.

FM: (laughs and tousles his hair) You're so cool, Cai-kun! You want to know what I think?

Caius: No.

FM: (going on anyway) When I first introduced you, I described you as a young man with dark blonde hair; I thought the reviewers might think you were Amou.

Amou: When do I come into the story, anyway?

FM: (snaps) Later on. Now go away!

Amou: (wide-eyed) T-t-t-tomonori-san!

Nakaura: (gently) Don't listen to FM, Tsukasa. (glares at FM)

FM: (point) Hey look, it's The Crafty Priest!

Nakaura: What?

FM: We decided to name you that when we were talking about you in the forums.

Nakaura: (brings out crucifix) Begone, demon! (chases FM around, wielding crucifix. Caius follows with shouts of 'Yeah!' and 'What he said!')

FM: Tata, lovely reviewers! Review-eth, please! (trips over shoelace) Uh oh.


	5. Poem of Jealously

_"Hast thou courageous fire to thaw the ice?" _

_-Satyre John Donne_

Stuff I forgot to say in the last chapter. (I was trying to dodge the Crafty Priest and his scary crucifix of doom-eth).

I feel sooo bad for Pyrrha. She's so earnest about courting Itsuki and doesn't realise that he's paying attention to her because he's just naturally wonderful like that. I know that's happened to everyone; you think someone likes you just because he/she is going out of his/her way to talk to you. I know it's happened to me, ha. So, distribute your pity evenly between our Lady P and our always loveable 'Su; they have a lot in common. They are both unrequited lovers. Cry.

Who are your favourite OCs? I have to make up many courtiers for my original stories so creating all these people to fill up the Consortium Dome is really fun.

YES! Shadow Game match! 'Su verses Kusakabe! Jackal and Erebus, going head to head! Get your foam fingers and airhorns and get ready to cheer!

And to those of you who actually read what I talk about after the story is done, worry not. I did not get Caius Cadmus fired. He's too good at his job to be handed the pink slip. It should be duly noted that Caius Cadmus and Seimei Katsuragi have apparently been named G.Gs. (Government Guys)…where do we come up with this stuff, people?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Poem of Jealousy by Sappho, translated by Tobias Smollett. I also do not own Rik Heisenberg, Yaksa, Ama-Inu, Mizunagi, Kuga, or the Eraser Nathaniel.  
**

* * *

_Thy fatal shafts unerring move,_

_-_

"Did you hear of those two naiads?" 

"Which ones?" someone else inquired curiously. Itsuki poured his cup of punch very slowly so he could linger and listen in.

"The ones sentenced to firing squad," the first lord replied. Itsuki heard the other gasp.

"I thought the usual penalty was for them to be hanged," the woman said.

"Yes," the lord agreed. "But they were soldiers in the army when they were found out. The captain had previously wanted to behead them, but his troop had been getting restless and he thought this was the best outcome."

"His soldiers would have something to do and he would get an execution finished too," the woman said wonderingly. "Interesting."

"I thought so," the lord agreed. "But they wasted some rather precious rounds of ammunition, I should think."

Itsuki finished adding some extra unnecessary garnishes to his drink and walked off; he had to admit the conversation had disturbed him. He came upon Haruna chatting lightly with Lady Miho and Lord Toshizou. Toshizou who had just shown up in court. Haruna later told him that he was part of the Hijikata family and he had come to the Consortium Dome to be closer to his sister Yomiko.

"I do apologise but I have to steal her away for a moment," Itsuki said wryly and took his sister's elbow.

"Thank you," his sister said as he dragged her off. She sipped from the glass in her free hand. "They were getting to be rather boring."

"Now you're sounding like Mother," Itsuki said from over his shoulder.

"And her daughter you see before you," Haruna reminded him; her smile was like a smudged chalk drawing. "Now, what is this about?"

He pulled her into a deserted corner and told her what he had heard at the drink table. As he neared the end, her face paled and her grip on the wineglass tightened. "How horrible," she breathed when he had finished. "To treat them like animals, worse than animals! H-how could they…"

"Who are _they_?" Itsuki demanded. She staggered a little and he caught her shoulder, steadied her.

"Why, those two women they executed by firing squad," Haruna said in a curious pondering way, as if her words were an old man wandering on a tortuous path.

"I heard them called…naiads, was it?" Itsuki said. It had confused him.

"Oh, yes." Haruna's voice had grown bitter and she did not ever remind Itsuki of his mother more than she did just then. She drew a gulp of wine from her glass. "It is a growing fashion to call the female lovers naiads and the male lovers nereids. It gives a cultured label to an otherwise distasteful and imprudent thing," she spat out the words as if they were foul-tasting. Poison.

"Why does everyone hate them so?" Itsuki whispered to himself.

"They say it's-" Haruna rolled her eyes and gestured jerkily with her glass. "Unnatural."

"Are you at rights? You don't seem yourself." Itsuki's anger abated for the moment. She nodded her head inelegantly.

"Haruna, look at me," he said grimly. Her gaze tried to fix on him but then wandered like two little amber ships on a choppy sea.

"I think it's all stupid," she declared but her frown was as unsteady as smoke drifting on the breeze.

"I think you've drunk too much," Itsuki said and took the glass from her lips. He swirled the deep red contents and waved it under his nose. "Who gave you this?" he asked sharply.

"That friend of yours," she said. "Baron Rik! His brother. What was his name, then?"

"Brenan," Itsuki said through gritted teeth.

"The very one," his sister agreed. "Rather odd, isn't he?"

"You don't know the half of it, dear," Itsuki said softly and as scanned the room, his gaze lighted on a tall broad-shouldered man with a green band tying back his dark hair; Brenan laughed at a joke and Itsuki glared at the culprit's turned back. _I'll deal with you later, _he promised darkly. _But first-_

"Oh." Some of the potent wine sloshed out. "Sorry, Naoya."

He took the glass from her and patted her hand. "Let's get you home."

And then, a few minutes later, there was only a deserted corner with a half-empty wineglass sitting on the table, the light making it shine blood-red.

_I bow before thine altar, Love._

_I feel thy soft resistless flame_

_Glide swift through all my vital frame._

"Here we are," Itsuki said and kicked the door open to Haruna's room. She giggled a little at the noise. "Oomph," he groaned as he deposited her onto a chair near her desk. Itsuki went to turn on the light. "At the least we won't have the Ashiyas breathing down our necks about abandoning their party, eh?" They had met Lord Jin at the door as they were leaving and he had promised to make their excuses to the hosts.

The light made the various oddments on his sister's shelves brighten. A pale shell caught his eye…

_He could hear the rush of tides clawing at the sand; the sea roared in fury as the little grains slipped through its grasp._

"_Naoya, look! I found a shell!" A young girl with glowing pink cheeks ran to him. The wind lovingly tangled her long pale hair._

"_Really?" He inspected her find. It was a small battered looking thing with a chipped edge but the sunlight seized it up, made it sparkle with layers of translucent rose, pale blossom lavender, and pure talcum white. "It's nice, Haruna."_

_She smiled cheerfully and let him take it. Looking at the shell for a second more, the boy suddenly gave her a jaunty grin and snapped his arm back, throwing the shell into the ocean. _

_Her tawny eyes were wide with disbelief. "N-Naoya." Tears salty as the sea gathered at her lids and spilled over. _

"_Haruna…" He showed her the shell, which he had tucked between his fingers. "Look, Haruna; it was a joke. Oh Haruna, don't cry."_

"I can't believe you still have this,' Itsuki laughed as he saw a curling blue ribbon he had once bought for her birthday. He touched its tarnished pendant thoughtfully.

"I don't feel well," Haruna said miserably. He rushed to her side and supported her.

"Do you think you'll be sick?" he asked anxiously.

"N-no…but. Oh, Naoya, my head feels strange."

"Here, you should feel better if you lie down." He helped her with her shoes and socks. Carefully, he slid the long bronze pins and bright ties from her hair. "There."

She fell against the pillows with a sigh. Her hair sprayed around her like a fan.

Itsuki clasped her hand. "I'll fetch some water for you. And a washcloth." Haruna made some sort of grateful noise and he left the room.

_Why would Brenan give her that awful stuff?_ Itsuki wondered as he watched the water stream noisily into a small ceramic basin. _What has he to gain by hurting my sister?_

He filled up a glass before turning off the tap with a squeak. _Perhaps it was only a game to him- an amusement. Everyone knows Haruna can't tolerate much alcohol._

He set a cloth for soaking in the basin. _Baron Rik is an admirable man; whatever happened to his brother? Should I risk getting anyone else in the Heisenberg family involved in this? _

His feet thumped quietly as he carried the basin and glass up the stairs. _I don't know. I can't…I can't think today._

-

_For while I gaze my bosom glows,_

_My blood in tides impetuous flows,_

-

He had seen Kusakabe at the Ashiya party. He always dressed the same: black suit, pale Darklore gloves. Itsuki, whose own habitual state of dress was of a similar fashion, wasn't one to object to it, but for a moment he imagined his friend's smoky hair standing out against a crisp white shirt instead of dulling against a dark jacket.

Itsuki glanced around. Kirihara did not seem to be present. She was a pleasant enough woman; though he knew she only spoke to him out of necessity-for he was her lover's best friend- she took genuine delight in their conversations. Her laughter was like a flight of doves taking wing. It was like wind singing through a freshly planted row of saplings. Sometimes when a few of his answers were too bold, too unrefined for her, she glowed a deep pink until he laughed lightly and subtly switched to another topic.

_She is so kind, so innocent, _Itsuki thought. _Is she your match, Kaname? Is she the kind of woman you favour? She brings out a softer side to you that I've never seen. Have I never really known you at all?_

"K-Kaname," he called out, walking towards him. His friend's dark eyes slid to him.

"Itsuki, he said coolly. "How are you?"

"Well," he replied. "And you?"

"Well enough," he answered, staring at him curiously. Usually, Itsuki responded with a short laugh and rolled his eyes, retorting, 'What do you think, Kaname?'

"The…the weather has been fair, hasn't it?" Itsuki amiably.

"Yes," he agreed slowly. The orchestra began playing a subtle serenade.

"And how kind of Lady Agrippina to invite us for tea tomorrow. It should be very agreeable."

"I must say so," Kusakabe murmured. His brows furrowed. "Itsuki, are you well?"

"Perfectly, thank you," Itsuki replied with a complacent turn of his mouth. "Though I did hear of Lady Pyrrha's terrible sickness; poor woman. Cold, was it?"

"Y-Yes." A group of chattering women walked past them.

Itsuki shook his head sympathetically. "I suppose I shall pay her a visit, cheer her up."

"A fine idea," his friend replied cautiously.

Itsuki paused for a second. He leaned forward. "Lady Tendou's head-dress looks like a lampshade, doesn't it?" he whispered wickedly.

"Itsuki!" Kusakabe scowled at him and tried to stifle his snort. It did indeed look exactly like a lampshade.

Itsuki saw his friend relax- the cautious lines of his dark frame smoothed. _If you aren't at your ease when I'm so innocuous with you, then what kind of creature must you be when you are with Kirihara? No, I do not believe you favour a soft woman. _For some reason, Itsuki was indescribably relieved. He grinned back unrepentantly. "It looks like the very thing. You thought so too."

"I would never think so poorly of others," Kusakabe replied stiffly but his eyes danced.

"Oh come now," Itsuki cajoled. "Tell me it didn't strike you."

"Not at all."

"A flattering lampshade."

"No."

"So quaintly painted with tiny flowers and trees. An antique lamp," Itsuki persisted.

"I never thought of it."

"With such attractive tassels on the edges," he noted.

This time, Kusakabe did laugh. He tried to cover his mouth with a dignified gloved hand but he could not disguise it. "Itsuki!"

"Is it not?" his friend replied indignantly. "Tell me it is, or I shall continue."

"It is, it is! Stop, I beg you!"

Another couple passed behind Kusakabe's back and smiled faintly at his mirth. 'It has been said,' Lady Satsu told him once over tea, 'That Mana Kirihara may draw Erebus's smile, but only the Jackal can make him laugh.' Itsuki felt oddly proud of it, oddly pleased.

"Madame Shade looking at us," he whispered in mock-severity to make his friend laugh more. "Perhaps she knows we've been gossiping about her. How would she know? Ah, but she is a rather bright lamp."

Kusakabe was making an admirable effort to muffle his noise. "Be quiet, Itsuki; you should be ashamed."

"And what of yourself?" Itsuki challenged.

"I've enough decency to reprimand you and insist that you quiet down."

"You cannot reform me. Many have failed; why should you succeed?" he asked scornfully.

"I shall never win out against you, shall I?" Kusakabe smiled. "But I forget- we always have tied at everything." Itsuki looked at his dark glittering eyes, his softly curved mouth.

Itsuki swallowed and the colour suddenly ran high in his face. "Are you thirsty?" he said quickly. "I believe I am. Hold a moment, would you?" He turned on his heel and fled to the refreshment table.

_What was that?_ he wondered as he fell into the queue. _Why was I…_ He remembered Kusakabe smirking at him so wryly. So…fondly. Itsuki's cheeks burned. _What am I…I'm flushing, like…like…_

_Lady Yomiko when she asked Kaname to dance. Like Kirihara when Kaname kisses her hand._

_No._ Something tried to scramble out from his memory's gate. He swung the door shut. –_Kusakabe's breath making his pale hair flutter- _

No.

–_His unfocused eyes. His arms pulling Itsuki to him-_

No.

–_If they had stopped dancing, they would have died-_

"Stop it!" Itsuki hissed. He locked the gate. Ignored it.

"How many?" the server asked him politely.

"Two," Itsuki replied and turned back to look at his friend. Suddenly, a flash of blue caught his eye. Lady Kirihara strolled up to Kusakabe. _So she's here._

Her lacy pastel-blue dress billowed around her as she stood on tiptoe to softly kiss his cheek. Itsuki felt a hot flash of…no, it could not have been jealousy. He closed his eyes and turned away.

"No," he amended softly. "One."

He accepted the glass the server gave him and turned his back to the scene to reach for a jug.

-

_Hope, fear, and joy alternate roll,_

-

Itsuki set Haruna's half-empty glass on the side table. "Feel better?" he inquired as he sponged off her brow.

"Hnn."

Itsuki nodded. He wrung out the cloth and set it aside.

"Brother?"

"Yes?" He emptied the basin into one of his sister's plants.

"Brother." Her eyes glittered too brightly. "I know."

"Of course you do," Itsuki agreed amiably as he arranged her pillows.

"No, you must listen to me." She sat up. Her fingers found his collar. "I know about everything!"

"What is 'everything'?" he asked gently. He removed the round glittering fastens from her ears and returned them to the little compartment in her jewellery box.

"About…about you and Lord Kusakabe!"

He froze. "Whatever do you mean?" he minced through his words carefully. _I don't know what she's on about but…it makes me feel peculiar._

His sister patted his arm affectionately. "I will speak of it to no one," she promised in a whisper. She nodded to him conspiratorially.

"Thank you," he said awkwardly. _I've never seen her like this. What is she saying?_

"It makes me so happy," she continued dreamily. She tried to pat his arm again but she missed. "You always think of us- never of yourself. I always worry over you. But now-" she smiled. "-I see the both of you. It makes me so happy," she repeated. Suddenly she frowned. "But it makes me so sad."

"What?" Itsuki was confused. _I should not listen to her with such a serious ear; she is not in her senses._

"Why did you have to help him court Kirihara, Naoya?" She sounded so disappointed.

_Do you fancy him?_ Itsuki thought incredulously. _No, that cannot be._ "He asked me to, Haruna. I couldn't refuse."

"Yes you could have!" she retorted.

"Why do you speak of it now?" he inquired. "What's done is done and you had no qualms about it before!"

"I did not know till later," she replied cryptically. "I did not see."

"What ill came of his courtship?" Itsuki wanted to know. "He is happy. Lady Kirihara is happy."

"Poor Naoya," Haruna sympathised. "Always thinking of us- never of yourself."

"You've already told me so," he reminded her.

"Then perhaps the third time you shall pay more attention," she replied primly.

"Perhaps you should sleep this off and speak with me again tomorrow," Itsuki suggested.

"A novel idea, that," she answered. To his relief, she took to the idea and climbed under the sheets.

"Good dreams, Haruna."

"Good night, brother."

_And floods of transports whelm my soul._

"Naoya?" 

"Yes?" He looked up from his work. She was standing barefoot at his door, her loose pale hair curtaining her puffy eyes. "Ah, you're awake; good morning. Feeling better?"

She touched her brow gingerly. "Nng, my head still throbs."

He nodded understandingly and shoved aside a stack of envelopes to open one of his desk drawers. "Here." He fished out a vial from the clutter. "Have a sip of this. A small sip, mind you," he cautioned.

She nodded obediently and unscrewed the vial with feeble fingers. Tipping it back, she took the tiniest of swallows and gasped as she felt something hot burn down her throat and through her chest. "What is that awful concoction, brother?" she demanded and returned the glass vial readily.

"I justly warned you," her brother reminded, laughing. "What of your headache, then?"

She stopped. "G-Gone," she replied with surprise. Her eyes narrowed. "Why is this remedy in your room?"

"Are you not grateful I have it?" he asked vaguely and hid the liquid back into the fathoms of his desk.

He had been derisive of the popular tonic before; drunkards should get their just desserts, was his unsympathetic opinion. Then, a few days after Kusakabe and Kirihara had officially declared their courtship, Lord Proteus had offhandedly invited him to a drinking party, knowing that Itsuki would refuse; he always did, but Proteus always asked him anyway for formality's sake. He was surprised when Itsuki had recklessly agreed instead of declining the offer with a polite nod as always.

That night, Itsuki had become spectacularly drunk, even surpassing Minister Shinkun and Sorcerer Agrippa. Before heading home, Proteus had taken him aside. "You're upset about something," he said. "I don't know what it is but you wouldn't be attending this party otherwise."

"H-Hn?" Itsuki had answered unsteadily. He reeked of alcohol.

"You can tell me," he persisted. "I shall tell none."

"Proteush, I don' know wha-what you're on 'bout."

"Fine. Don't confide in me, but do not make this a habit, Jackal," Proteus had said tersely. "The next time you retreat here to drink away your problems, I'll turn you out." His eyes lost some of their frigidness. "No one here enjoyed seeing you so sad. You are strong; strong enough to sort out these newfound troubles- I have faith in that." He clapped him on the shoulder. "But here," –he pressed a vial into Itsuki's hands- "As terrible as you feel now, you'll feel worse in the morning, I assure you. Drink some of this to ease it."

He saw that Itsuki was in no state to carry the delicate container so he tucked it away in a pocket of his friend's dark jacket. "Good night, Jackal," he said firmly and steered him out the door.

_My faltering tongue attempts in vain_

_In soothing murmurs to complain;_

"What were you planning for today, Naoya?" Haruna asked and leaned over the back of his chair. He folded another envelope indifferently. "Bureaucratic work," he said with a sigh. "One of them hired me to finish this load. I'll probably stop for lunch after I mail all these packets."

"What of your fight in the Arena today?" she asked him.

Papers went everywhere. "_What?_"

"Don't you remember?"

"No! When is it?"

"Just after noon," she replied.  
Itsuki winced. His gaze returned to the letters and stamps strewn across his desk; the senator was paying him a lot more than what he could win in the Shadow Game fight but he couldn't pull out of the match so suddenly.

"Be off; I'll finish this up for you," his sister told him kindly. She always understood him.

"But…your studywork-"

"-I have most of it completed," she countered. "Just tell me what should be done."

"Thank you," he said warmly. He stood up to leave.

"Brother?" she said suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"Did…did I say anything peculiar yesterday night?"

Itsuki's mouth opened once, then closed:

"_I know about everything!"_

"_What is 'everything'?" _

"_About…about you and Lord Kusakabe!"_

"No," he replied perhaps a little too quickly. "Whyever would you ask?" 

"No reason," she answered and applied her attention to her work with a bit more zeal than was necessary. Finally, she heard the door close. Pausing, she looked forlornly to where he had been standing. Why her brother insisted on torturing himself, she didn't know. She sighed sadly. "Naoya…"

-

Itsuki's fight clothes were loose and comfortable. He shook them out to beat some of the wrinkles from the cloth. He always wore dark colours for they did not show bloodstains as lucidly- he did not want his family to worry about him as they looked on from the arena seats.

The cloth whispered encouragingly as he donned the baggy pants, the old soft shirt-jacket. He needed this fight today, he suddenly realised. He needed to channel all his turmoil and stress and confusion into something else- something more…powerful. He needed to reflect the intensity of his emotions into something equally strong.

He looked in the mirror and saw the hard glint in his catlike eye and the straight set of his mouth.

He was ready.

Walking through the hallway, he passed the door to his office. He thought of knocking to say goodbye to his sister but the hurried excitement would not let him rest and drove him on down the stairs. As the front door slammed behind him, he felt something jittery fire up in his veins. Adrenaline. He smirked.

He took some time to stretch his muscles and then broke into a quick easy jog towards the Arena.

_Thy tongue some secret magic ties,_

The Arena's interior sprawled out like a monster's open mouth. Some spectators picked their way along the aisles and stairs at its teeth as they went off to sit with friends or find choice spots near the wide fighting circle right at the centre of the beast's throat.

"Look, it's Lord Harut!" Lady Chie called out and tugged at her friend's sleeve. She, Lady Agrippina, and Proteus filled into the row of seats near their friends.

"Oh, I've been looking forward to this; I do love to see the Jackal fight," Lady Agrippina exclaimed as they settled in.

"I haven't spoken to him since the Bremdoffe party a few months ago," Harut remarked.

"Which one was that?" Proteus asked him.

"The one Caius attended, remember? High Lord Katsuragi was there too."

Karin giggled. "I think Caius is a little scared of the Prime Minister."

Jin frowned at her. "High Lord Seimei Katsuragi is part of the most prestigious and influential families in the Consortium Dome _and_ he's the top director for the Ministry of Defence… Hell, I'm scared of him too."

"It must be lonely for him," Agrippina murmured. Lady Chie patted her hand kindly. Only she knew that Agrippina had long nursed an affection for the high lord from afar.

"Yes," Douman drawled. "Poor high-born upper-class privileged man; it must be so difficult."

"You don't know him!" Agrippina protested.

"Caius _did_ tell us the Prime Minister keeps late hours at the ministry," Harut said. "He's not just languishing, Ashiya, he's _working_." It might have been a pointed remark towards Lord Douman, who did not want to find a job, even though everyone knew the family was in high debt. Most likely, he did not want to seem like a low-born noble by 'getting his hands dirty,' so to speak.

Harut's verbal arrow hit the mark direct centre and Douman coloured slightly. _Put your arrogance and pride aside for once, you fool,_ Harut thought angrily.

"Ah, I see everyone's already here," Haruna said as she and her mother came down the steps.

Kana flashed a disapproving look at them. "I'll see you back at the house, Haruna," she said stiffly and walked by without another word.

"Er…she's not at her best in the afternoons," Haruna tried to smooth it over politely and wished that her mother would not make her dislike for Itsuki's friends so openly known.

"It _is_ getting to be rather discomfortably warm outside in the afternoons, isn't it?" Agrippina said agreeably. "I don't like it either."

"Oh, Haruna-san, you haven't spoken with Lady Agrippina in a while, have you?" Lady Chie said hurriedly. "Here, you may have my seat."

"But where will you sit, Lady Chie?" Haruna asked. She nodded over to the other side. "Unless perhaps the seat beside Lord Jin is open."

"Of course, my lady," Jin said gallantly.

"You're very kind," Lady Chie said to Jin. _Thank you_, she mouthed to Haruna subtly. Itsuki's sister tried to swallow a smile as Lady Chie flitted over to the lord and lapsed easily into a companionable conversation. It seemed that perhaps Jin's sentiments toward her were not unrequited.

"Very crafty, Chie," Agrippina murmured to herself. "and you kept up nicely, Haruna-san."

Haruna chuckled. "Well it's no secret to anyone who knows Lady Chie, and Naoya's told me that Lord Jin has affections for her too."

"Matchmaking in the fighting arena," Proteus whispered over to them in mock disapproval.

"_Women_," Douman agreed with him disgustedly.

Agrippina and Haruna looked at each other and burst out into peals of laughter.

"Shh, it has begun," Harut admonished. The arena slowly faded to a soft darkness and the fighting circle became starkly illuminated by a few overhead lights. A figure stepped out into the Arena. His white Eraser robes made him light up like a starburst.

"Welcome to our weekly Shadow Game fight!" he cried out as he spread his arms out to the audience.

"Look, Lord Harut; it's your friend Lord Nathaniel!" Karin noticed as she recognised the Eraser who would be judging and keeping the peace during the match.

"So I see," Harut murmured and politely motioned for the young woman to be quiet.

"I've always wondered how his voice broadcasts like that; it's such a terribly huge stadium," Jin wondered.

"See that soundboard he's standing on there?" Chie pointed out. "It's quite cleverly designed; the sound hits it and travels around the room."

"If you please," Harut said starchily. They apologised and stopped their chatter.

_Thy murmurs sink in broken sighs._

At his place behind one of the Arena gates, Itsuki jogged in place lightly as he heard the Eraser Nathaniel prattle on niceties to build up to the battle to come. Why couldn't the fight just begin?

Itsuki grinned at himself wryly; perhaps he was a bit too eager to take out his emotions in the Shadow Game Arena. Not for the first time, he was grateful the Erasers arbitrated the match and set up psychic barriers to protect the fighters and spectators. He looked at a piece of thick cement wall beside him that had an irregular discoloration to it. His power had once slipped through an Eraser's guard and a section of the wall had been torn out. The patch they had used to cover it up had become a famous emblem not only of the Jackal, but of the Consortium Dome sport itself. New fighters sometimes came to touch its grainy surface in hopes that it would bring them good luck. Haruna had once remarked that the channelling of all the psychics' hopes and wishes on that spot of wall might make it into an actual charm over time. Itsuki had laughed at the idea then but now he reached out to touch the cement briefly as he heard his name called and walked out.

The chatter of the crowd and bright lights surrounded him in a wide circle and suddenly he felt so small, so insignificant.

"Our very own Naoya Itsuki, The Jackal!" Lord Nathaniel cried out and swept out a hand in Itsuki's direction.

Itsuki's inhibitions melted as he smirked jauntily and waved a hand to the crowd. This was his world, his home. A small part of him wondered why so many people had filled the stands today; perhaps it was just general public boredom.

"Pitted against the Darklore-"

_-Darklore? Oh, good. Perhaps it's Ama-Inu,_ Itsuki thought. _Or Yaksa_. He hoped it was Yaksa and waited with a thrill of anticipation as he thought of her brown dreadlocks and angular elegant face. More importantly, he thought about her impressive fighting skills and high power levels. He had a torrent of emotion to dispense of and needless to say, he wasn't going to let her off easy.

"- Kaname Kusakabe, Erebus!" the Eraser announced.

Perhaps it was the roar of the crowd Itsuki heard in his ears as he saw a slight dark figure step out from the other end of the Arena.

_K-Kaname…_Itsuki thought faintly. As if he had heard his thoughts, the Darklore's dark fathomless eyes slid over to him and he gave Itsuki a nod. Itsuki nodded back numbly.

_How can this be? Ah, but, _'I've heard you and Erebus are matched up to fight in the Shadow Games next week,' he remembered Caius tell him a few months ago. That fight had been postponed after the rain showers, and again after the unexpected heatwave, and then…

He heard a low droning buzz and felt his skin tingle as the Erasers standing at intervals around the Arena set up their shields to enclose the two of them in a protective psychic barrier. Itsuki's feet moved forward mechanically. He did not remember when he stopped; he did not remember when Nathaniel came to stand between them. Itsuki usually loved fighting Kusakabe in the Arena; he looked forward to it. Now he…he wanted to run away as fast as his legs could carry him. He unconsciously set up a psychic barrier around himself and felt Kusakabe do the same.

"Salute!" the Eraser cried. Both fighters clapped their palms together twice and bowed to each other. As Itsuki straightened, he scanned the audience. There was Haruna with a group of his friends. And…Lady Chie with Lord Jin? Hmm. A flash of red in the corner of his eye told him Lady Pyrrha was in one of the seats near the Arena walls. There was Lord Shiba sitting with his wife Tokiko; he had been a Shadow Game fighter too but he had retired young so he could be married and have a steady life. What a thing to have a steady life.

_What a thing to have a steady friend,_ Itsuki thought and looked at Kusakabe. Then suddenly without reason, he felt a fleeting hot rage infuse him. _A steady friend indeed._

"Fight!" Nathaniel shouted. With a sudden dip of his wings, he took to the air to watch the fight from above.

Itsuki did not hear him. Kusakabe's soft dark eyes solidified into dull metallic disks as they took on an adrenaline mania. Wings blacker than the centre of the world sprouted from his shoulder blades. Itsuki must have been contemplating the alluring darkness of them for he did not realise he had been struck until he felt the force of Kusakabe's claws resound against his shield.

Itsuki made a hurried gesture and Kusakabe stumbled back from a blast of E.G.O energy.

He blinked. Itsuki…

Itsuki was not there.

Suddenly he felt a sharp blow to his shoulder. Whirling around he saw nothing. Another hit but this time Kusakabe raised his barrier in time and he heard a muttered curse weave itself into the air. He narrowed his eyes. Focused. The audience would say later that his eyes turned into glowing purple embers.

Now he could see…something. A flash of light hair, maybe. A dark flutter of Itsuki's fighting uniform. Ghostly images shimmered around him at once. Itsuki was there to his right! No, there! Behind him! Ah, it was no use. But maybe…

He concentrated on the tingling of his skin. Blows rained down on him intermittently but he paid them no mind. Breath. Concentrate. He could feel the subtle glow of an E.G.O aura. It was smouldering like a stifled fire. Wait for it. Wait. Reflexively he lashed out with his power and heard Itsuki cry out in pain; he solidified in mid-air as he tumbled to the ground. The ghost images vanished.

"Illusions," Kusakabe spat. Itsuki spared him a smirk before taking to his feet. The Darklore chased after him. Images flashed around him- Itsuki was running beside him, before him, across the fighting circle. He was hiding his aura better now. Kusakabe lashed out with his claws but they passed through the illusions ineffectually.

_Not this image. Not this one. So then…_ Kusakabe took flight abruptly and let himself drop down close to another image. Shots of Darklore power carved a line of holes in the ground just behind Itsuki's heels. Kusakabe made himself fly faster until he was right above Itsuki; with a devastating blow he slammed him off-balance. Itsuki threw out an illuminated hand and Kusakabe barely manoeuvred out of the way before the blast of E.G.O power sailed past his ear and made his dark hair flutter. Undeterred, the Darklore's claws flashed out and Itsuki made some sort of strangled noise.

The ghost images were back. Itsuki allowed himself a smile as his breath raced in and out. _Kaname cannot possibly find me now. _A knock to his jaw stunned him for a moment.

"The real you has blood on his shoulder," Kusakabe told him from above. "Do not toy with me." He tucked in his wings and dropped down to the ground to bar Itsuki's way.

_Condemned to nurse eternal care,_

_And ever drop the silent tear,_

Itsuki slid to a halt and clouds of dust curled around his feet. With his usual languid grace, he formed flat shields of power upon the palms of his hands to fend off Kusakabe's claws, which beat upon the disks of E.G.O energy with an awful clashing. Faster. They both moved automatically; their limbs had been trained to respond like machines. Faster. Now their figures were a blur. Who was Itsuki and who was Kusakabe? Their powers swirled around each other; they almost melded. They almost became-

The Darklore shifted his balance to the side for a split-second and in one fluid motion, Itsuki swung up his arm and a flash of pure unadulterated psychic power collected on the tips of his fingers and formed a bright deadly orb. There was a violent flash like a lightning bolt and Kusakabe went hurling backward in a heap of crumpled wings.

_K-Kaname? Did I hurt you?_ Itsuki dashed forward. He had never worried about hurting him before. After the fight the two of them usually compared injuries and laughed unrepentantly. But now…

Kusakabe surged forward and caught him by the shoulders. Itsuki could feel his friend's warmth and the heavy breath against his neck; he could smell the sweet tang of soap and sweat and blood. He did not want to put up his E.G.O shield. He wanted this. He wanted it even though he could feel the damage Darklore power did to his body. He could feel his skin tear like paper.

His blood sang out to Kusakabe's. Couldn't his opponent feel it too, this familiar locking like something clicking into place? This connection of E.G.O and Darklore powers that could bring out something else they had experienced so long ago. Cold fire. Suddenly, Itsuki was afraid. Deeply abjectly afraid. He wrenched away from the enthralling temptation to let his power flow into Kusakabe's. His limbs missed it, cried out for it again.

Over Kusakabe's shoulder, he saw a mass of hazy faces. Did…did one of them have long pale hair? Did she have her hands over her mouth? Were tears forming in her eyes?

_H-Haruna._ With sudden force, he threw Kusakabe off him. _Mother is here. Haruna is here. I cannot force them to watch me get bloodied and broken. I cannot relinquish my family's honour. _

Kusakabe turned. Itsuki barrelled towards him but as the Darklore sent out a deadly burst of power, Itsuki flipped over him; gathering up the remains of his power, he constructed it into a solid wall and slammed it into his opponent's spine but Kusakabe's own power got in the way. Kusakabe had anticipated him. Kusakabe _always_ anticipated him. Their blasts resounded off each other with a loud boom. The two forces almost curled into each other, almost fused. A darker stronger power sparked for a fleeting moment. The Eraser shield over the Arena shivered…but held.

A whistle blew. "Cease!" Nathaniel swooped down and alighted between them. The Eraser had sensed that both young men had used up all their psychic energy. "Cease! I declare this fight a draw!"

The buzzing in Itsuki's ears melted away till he could hear the roar of the crowd. Lady Pyrrha looked over from her seat and smiled at him shyly. Kana smiled her thin-lipped smile and gave him a nod before rising to her feet and leaving. "Jackal!" he could almost hear Lady Agrippina screeching enthusiastically from her seat. "Jackal!"

Itsuki looked over at Kusakabe, who was breathing heavily. He had pulled in his wings and reverted to his fragile human form. The audience was screaming wildly for Jackal and Erebus. Itsuki could hear their shouting plundering his ears like wax. It began to…change. It became angry. _He _was angry. Furious.

He looked over into Kusakabe's dark eyes. _You,_ Itsuki thought. _You!_

Suddenly he launched himself at Kusakabe, striking at him with his bare hands. _Kaname! Kaname!_ His power was drained but his hands kept punching and clawing. The whistle blew shrilly but he ignored it. He rammed his fists into his opponent's ribs; he hoped they broke like toothpicks.

He could feel Kusakabe's fingers scrabbling at his throat. "Itsuki!" he gasped out. "Itsuki!"

_Call out for your Mana,_ Itsuki thought bitterly and wrenched at Kusakabe's arm. He heard a satisfying snap. "Damn you!" he cried. He swung at his friend's face. Again. Again. If Itsuki could not make that face smile at him the way it smiled at Mana Kirihara, he would destroy it instead.

Itsuki felt hard blows against his abdomen and sides; Kusakabe was fighting back now. He could not revert to his Darklore form but that did not stop him; ordinary fingernails tore bloody ribbons into Itsuki's pale flesh. Human fingers tried to dislocate Itsuki's wrist.

Both had abandoned defensive manoeuvres by now; this wasn't about skill or ability- it was about who could inflict and endure the most damage. Itsuki should have been in agonising pain but he felt nothing but a numb hot hate firing in his blood.

"_Stop!_" a terrible voice boomed out. Formidable Eraser power ripped the two fighters apart. "Stop, you children!"

Itsuki crouched with his hands on his knees, panting as blood dripped freely onto the Arena floor. Kusakabe was clutching one arm. They glared at each other.

"I have never seen such blatant disregard for rules and battle conduct!" Nathaniel shouted angrily. "Jackal, Erebus- you should be deeply ashamed." He dropped his voice. "The both of you are barred from the Shadow Games for four months and you shall be placed on probation when you return." His shout rang around the stadium. "_Now get out!_"

"Blood of the gods," Jin whispered as the two fighters staggered off the field. Beside him, Lady Chie was clutching his arm in a painful grip, her blue eyes wide.

"That was…that was…Erebus is so composed and Jackal would never…" Lady Karin took a breath. "They are friends. They are _friends_," she repeated as if chanting it might reverse the events that had come to pass. "I do not understand. L-Lady Haruna?"

Itsuki's sister shook her head wordlessly. Her face was white. "I don't know," she rasped out. "I don't know." She blinked and smiled weakly. "I-I must leave you." Agrippina nodded to her.

As Haruna was dashing hurriedly up the stairs she heard someone say, "Thank goodness Lady Kirihara never comes to the fights," and someone else grunted in agreement.

As he shambled out the Arena door, Itsuki felt someone grab his shoulder and spin him around. The simple movement made his body shriek; it had taken quite a beating.

"Kuga-san?" Itsuki queried hazily. The older retired WIZ-dom fighter had been a sort of mentor to Itsuki when the young man had been new to the Arena. "What are you-"

"-I don't know what the hell is going on," Kuga Masaki hissed. "But you should get out of here."

"Wh-what? Why?"

Masaki's lids half-shadowed his eyes. "People may be…looking for you. You should try to minimise their chances." He pressed a bandage roll into Itsuki's bloody fingers and gave him a rough shove. "Leave, Itsuki."

Itsuki nodded and touched the piece of discoloured wall once more. As he pulled his hand away, it left a smear of blood against the grainy cement.

_Unheard I mourn, unknown I sigh,_

He stumbled out into the sunset with his jacket bunched up defensively around his shoulders, the collar turned up.

_I…I struck him. I bruised up his face_. He took a shuddering breath. _I broke his arm._

He found himself in the Regency quarter of the Consortium Dome, where many of the government legislative offices and buildings were contained. He chose a street: it was First District- the primary place bureaucrats met to discuss laws that had been called into question. They came up with a decision and passed it over to- Itsuki turned the corner onto Second District- the Amend Committees who would revise the law to the best of their ability. The Amends and the bureaucrats would bandy words back and forth for a few months before anything would be done. Itsuki found it all very tiresome. He quit those two streets and cut across the alleyway.

Here it was. Regency Fourth District; Debtor's Lane, it was called- the street where boards met to decide on taxes and tariffs. They could find ways to tax anything and anything had a tax. Itsuki clenched his hands and remembered the feeling of ramming them into Kusakabe's ribs. Friendship had a tax too, it seemed. Friendship. Courtship. Perhaps they both had taxes. Perhaps they were not as different as Itsuki had first thought.

129, Regency Fourth, the metal plaque above one of the doors said. Itsuki walked up the steps to the threshold; a black railing spindled out on either side. Itsuki leaned against it and stared out at the shrubbery below.

_What happened in the Arena?_

He had suddenly…he had suddenly _hated_ Kusakabe. He hated his courtship with Mana Kirihara; he especially hated his own role in it. He did not want Kusakabe to touch her; he did not want them to stand so close and clasp hands. He did not want Kirihara to rise up onto her toes and kiss his friend's soft mouth. Soft. Soft and silken and warm.

_Unfriended live, unpitied die._

He…he needed a smoke. He felt around in the pockets of his jacket for his metal cigarette container. Opening it, he found its contents already spent. Cursing, he searched for another paper packet he had sworn he had just bought. He looked in one pocket. Empty. No. He opened the buttoned side-pocket on the inside. No. His fingers were growing frantic as they ravaged his jacket for his precious nicotine. No.. No… "_No_!" he shrieked. He balled up the jacket and threw it angrily into the bushes over the railing. "Dammit!"

His head began to pound and he dropped down to the steps. Miserable, Itsuki folded his bandaged arms onto his drawn up knees and rested his throbbing head.

-

Footsteps. Footsteps resonated hollowly down the street. Itsuki's head jerked. He surged up and scanned his surroundings. The buildings were barely illuminated by the fast receding sunset. _Who could be here at this hour…_Perhaps it was an Arena psychic intent on avenging Kusakabe. Itsuki welcomed it; he felt like enduring the sort agony he had wrought on his friend; he wanted it to be a Shadow Game fighter so he could receive the raw physical pain that he could not inflict upon himself.

"Hello, Jackal." The dark-haired man walked lightly up the steps and hung his jacket over the rail. He _was_ a fighter but he did not seem to want Itsuki's blood.

Itsuki sighed inwardly. Mizunagi Sakamoto was usually good company but today he just didn't feel…"Patricius, I apologise but I-"

The other E.G.O fighter felt around his pocket for a metal dispenser and flicked it open. "Cigarette?"

His breath caught. "Thank you." Itsuki accepted it greedily and lit up, breathing in the smoke with a sigh of sweet relief. He sat down on the steps and rested his other arm on his knee.

Mizunagi helped himself to a cigarette as well and sat down beside him. "I found this in the shrubbery as I was coming up." He plucked up Itsuki's dark jacket from the railing. "I assumed it to be yours."

"Yes." Itsuki snatched it from him and stuffed it indifferently beside him. There would be streaks of grime staining the cloth but he did not care.

Mizunagi inhaled and then breathed out a stream of smoke thoughtfully. The crickets sang their scratchy voices as they joyfully leapt about in the grass. Mizunagi listened appreciatively to their song for a moment. "Do you want to tell me what happened in the Arena today?"

"Not particularly," Itsuki replied acidly. He stretched out his legs onto the steps.

The other nodded and didn't press. A soft wind stirred his dark hair. "Damn good thing Lady Kirihara wasn't there," he remarked.

"Yes, fortunate," Itsuki spat. "I would not want to upset her."

"She must know by now; it is all over the Consortium Dome." Itsuki shrugged uncaringly but Mizunagi continued anyway. "She thinks highly of you, you know. It is a shame that your actions today might compromise her trust-"

"-Why is everyone behaving like it was all my own damn fault?" Itsuki snapped. "He was attacking me as well; he wanted to lash out as much as I did!"

"That may all be very well, but you must realise that everyone else saw him attacking only after you incited the rogue fight," Mizunagi replied, unfazed. "It could be called self-defence."

"So could mine!"

A pause. "Defence from what, Jackal?" Itsuki did not answer. Mizunagi enjoyed his cigarette for a while longer, expelling the smoke in great curlicue whorls into the summer night air. "Would you have killed him?" he asked finally.

Itsuki snapped his head around to look at him sharply. "What?"

He went on smoking casually. "If the Erasers had not been there to stop you, would you have killed him?" he asked calmly.

Itsuki did not speak for a long moment. _Could I ever kill Kaname with my own two hands? _he wondered with a shiver. "What does it matter?" he said bitterly. "We always tie."

'_But I forget- we always have tied at everything,' _he remembered Kusakabe say at the Ashiya party. And then…he had smiled at Itsuki. A soft fond smile. A smile meant only for him…and now for Mana Kirihara. Traitor, he thought with hot rage. _Traitor!_

"I always tie with that godkilling bastard!" he shouted angrily. He hurled his jacket violently at the base of the steps. "I always….I always…" He put a hand over his eyes. _He does not belong to me; he is free to do as he pleases. _He had a drag of his cigarette. _No._ The ugly infuriated voice inside him would not be silent. _He is mine! He was mine before he ever decided to court Mana Kirihara. How? _How could he do this to me?_ I gave him my trust, I gave him my loyalty! I gave him my…_ but that made his stomach feel strange. _And after years of friendship, he just throws it back in my face as if it was nothing and goes jaunting off with his precious Kirihara! They can never be; she is too soft and sincere, he is too rigid and intricate. She cannot understand him; only I understand him! He does not belong with her; he belongs with…_

He suddenly choked on the smoke. Leaning over, he coughed fitfully until his eyes watered.

"He and you were such good friends," Mizunagi said evenly after he had waited for Itsuki's coughing fit to die down.

Itsuki took a deep ragged breath. "I thought so," he replied hazily. "…I-I mean, we are! We just…I…"

A dark cricket hopped by on the pavement and Mizunagi obligingly moved his foot to let it pass. "Have you spoken with him about it?"

_What would I say to him?_ "No," he answered succinctly. "One does not 'speak' with Kaname Kusakabe."

"Perhaps one should," Mizunagi replied neutrally. "If there is any way to solve your problem, you should take the opportunity. I don't intend to make you feel any worse, but I feel I must tell you that you are making everyone else around you miserable."

"Let them be miserable; I am tired of putting up a pretence," Itsuki told him wearily. "For my friends, for my family." His shoulders sagged. "I'm tired."

"Then do not pretend," Mizunagi replied practically.

"The problem is…" He took a drag of his cigarette. "The problem is I have feigned for so long that I know not who I really am." _And if I cannot understand myself, then how could Kaname possibly understand me? …But he does. _

_He does. _

Itsuki rolled his eyes. "There, now you've got me talking in riddles."

"No, I understand," the other replied. "I understand what you mean."

"Do you?" Itsuki shook his head and sprang lithely to his feet. "I should head back; Haruna will be worried." He picked up his jacket and dusted it off before swinging it around his shoulders.

"See you in the Arena, Jackal."

Itsuki nodded to him. "I'll look forward to it." He paused. "Patricius?"

"Hmm?" He tapped the ash from his quid against the step.

He held up his precious nicotine. "Thanks for the cigarette."

Mizunagi grinned and his even teeth flashed white in the coming darkness. "Any time, Jackal. Any time."

* * *

I really sped through this chapter so I could FINALLY post it so sorry if the work is shoddier than usual. 

Man, I looked everywhere for a name for Mizunagi but then I found _Patricius._ It loosely means The Aristocrat or The Gentleman.

Mizunagi: Because I'm smooth like that.

FM: You're the greatest. (glomp) You were my favourite of Kaoru-san's gang. You know, you're quite popular on MYFCOnline dot com.

Mizu: Eh?

FM: It stands for Marry Your Favourite Character Online dot com. Right now, you're married to four people.

Mizu: You're not serious!

FM: It's true. Go check. (to reviewers) This is seriously a real site. I less than three it! ( 3 ! )

So, I've matchmaker..ed and made Jin happy. I wonder if I can get Satsu to get together with Proteus?

Satsu: Like I said from the first chapter, _no way._ (point) He's an idiot.

Proteus: (trips over a shoelace) What?

Satsu: (walks off in disgust)

…okay, never mind. (looks at Lady Agrippina for a moment)

FM: (singing loudly) Yeaah! Getting' Agri and Katsu together! So happy together!

Agri: (blush) Oh my.

Katsu: Silence out there! _Some_ people are working! (slams his office door)

FM: …wow, I guess he's not Mr. Happy Sunshines all the time, huh?

Agri: (stricken) And I thought he was the most wonderful man I'd ever met!

Cai: Hey, whoever's out there- shut up or leave!

Minister Fujii: Yeah!

FM: …then again, maybe all government people are jerks. That would explain a lot.

Agri: (gasp) P-Please don't say that again, FM-san!

FM: (careless laugh) Why not?

NSA: (knock knock) FM, we need to ask you some questions.

FM: Oh, shii-yot!

Agri: (blush)

FM: Oops! No swearing in front of the ladies! I forgot!

NSA: (knocking louder) FM, COME OUT!

Ministry people: Go away!

FM: Yeah, what they said!

Ministry: You too, FM!

Cai: (innocently) Unless you want to come and help us?

FM: (pales considerably) Er, no…thanks. Come on, Agri. We…we're going to the theatre!

Agri: I'd be delighted. (deep bow)

FM: Okay, awesome. (walking off with Agri) Hey, you know, you're pretty cute.

Agri; (coldly) I'm not available.

FM: (sigh) Curses.

FYI: the NSA stands for National Security Agency. They're the ones that listen in on my phone calls to foreign countries that deal with the technique of using marshmallow goo and jelly to spread mass terror.

Marshmallow Goo and Jelly: Public enemies number one and two. Ranked at the top of the WOMD list. Illegal in all 50 states. Thou hast been warned.

**What's On the S.S. Contestah Bulletin board: **

1) Try to find a symbolism in chapter 3 (kind of like a Where's Waldo thing) and explain.

UPDATE: I decided to give you all a break: the symbolism is the door. But still, explain it, you must!

Winner's Prize: Itsuki for a whole week.

2) _The setting_: When Itsuki and Mizunagi are smoking out on the Regency Fourth District steps. _The question_: What is the symbolism behind the crickets?

Winner's Prize: Lucky cricket.

3) What's in my pocketses?

Winner's Prize: FM, for a whole week. Hells yes.


	6. Young Love

_"Hast thou courageous fire to thaw the ice?" _

_-Satyre John Donne_

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Young Love" by Andrew Marvell. I do not own Shiba's wife Tokiko Arisugawa** **or the JO TCG character Jirou Shinkun. I do own the fictional countries of Arwyl, the city Niat in Goish, and Nandeis. I also own the dances: the arienda and the pardae. Also, I am not responsible for the…ahem, 'alternative' spellings used in this poem; that's all Marvell. **

Lovies and chapter dedications to my Betas, Magick Moon and PsychoKitty. Sorry to do this to you two, but I edited, revised, and added some more stuff, so you're going to have to read this chapter again! Apologies and Deep Bows.

I just realised that I had OCs from everywhere except from where I'm from: South Asia. Soo, I gave Katsuragi a bit of a South Asian look. Woot! (pumps fist in the air) Yeah, Katsu, represent!

Well, I introduced our G.Gs two chapters ago so they'd better start earning their keep! Go on, G.Gs, tell us about all this political strife and..stuff…

_-Welcome to the world of the G.G. Whoooo!-  
_

* * *

Caius knocked tentatively on the Prime Minister's door, careful not to let his candlestick fall on the stack of reports balanced in the crook of his arm. The ministry shut off its electricity when all the other staff left. Only the Prime Minster's office and suite of rooms had the luxury of electricity all the time. It was a mixed blessing, it seemed, for the lights were usually on all night as he stayed awake working. He shut the electricity off very early in the morning when he allowed himself a few hours to rest but the ministry sprang to life at seven o'clock and did not shut off automatically till six in the evening. 

Poor Prime Minister Katsuragi. But then again, he had electric power and Caius didn't.

He was growing mighty tired of lanterns and candlesticks.

"Enter, please." Katsuragi never snapped at his staff and ministers. It seemed impossible for his mild voice to digress into a sharper harsher tone.   
Caius pushed open the door hurriedly. Some papers threatened to escape the stack- he glared at them.

"Ah, Esquire Caius."

Caius looked up. "High Lord Katsuragi, hello. I've finished the reports you wanted, sir. I believe you wanted them sorted by date?"

The Prime Minister nodded. "Yes, thank you, Esquire." He went back to his own work. "Please shelve them over there." He waved a hand distractedly at a host of metal cabinets crammed against a far wall.

"Yes, sir." He placed his candle on a clear table surface, extinguished the wick, and opened one of the metal drawers with a wrench.

He was almost finished when he heard the Prime Minister speak.

"Hmm? Beg your pardon, sir?" As he turned, the last papers in his hand escaped and scattered, trying to flee madly. _Damn._

"I said," Katsuragi reiterated, "we two seem to be in a competition."

"Competition, sir?" He picked up the files and tried to set them in order again.

"Yes." The man's eyes twinkled. "To see who can work the longest without respite."

Caius had to smile. "It would seem so."

The Prime Minister yawned. "Unless there's some other poor soul lurking about tonight." He stretched tiredly, trying to get the kinks out of his shoulders.

"No, sir, I'm afraid not."

"Hmm." Katsuragi shrugged and rubbed his eyes. "It's a good thing you're here, anyway; there's something I needed to talk with you about." Caius nodded and finished filing.

"Would you-" The Prime Minister stopped and rolled his eyes. "Well, no one else is here, but would you shut the door for formality's sake?"

It must have been something important. Caius nodded quickly. "Of course." The heavy door shut with a dull boom. Katsuragi's chair creaked. Suddenly, Caius felt comfortable warmth at his back. Breath warmed the back of his neck. An arm brushed his shoulder as it reached past him to turn the lock on the door with a click.

"I've missed you," a voice breathed in his ear. The usual mild tone was wistful, laced with intensity.

_Now then love me: time may take_

_Thee before thy time away:_

Katsuragi's arms were around him. Caius rested the back of his head against the Prime Minister's shoulder. "I'm sorry I've had to leave so early these past months."

"You had no choice; your family comes before your job." _Or me_. The sentence lay unspoken. "By the way, how _is_ your mother?"

"She's almost recovered," Caius answered cheerfully. "The doctor said her fall wasn't fatal- thank goodness our ancestors had the foresight to carpet all our marble steps- but she is beginning to walk again. She's healing very quickly."

"I'm glad."

Caius abruptly reached around to pull Katsuragi's face closer. He kissed the side of his lover's mouth from an awkward angle.

"Cadmus," Katsuragi whispered and Caius shivered. It was the way he said it, made it into something beautiful. _Cadmus._

"Are you cold?" Katsuragi asked and held him tighter. Caius stirred in his arms and turned to smile into his face.

"No, Seimei," he reassured and leaned forward to kiss him properly. Katsuragi closed his eyes. This was the only time he could safely bring his lover close to him and feel his warmth. The only time he could reach out and touch Caius's hair.

The Prime Minister had never thought himself a nereid at heart. None of the ladies at court interested him enough to make him pursue one of them and he didn't want to romantically alter any friendships he had. He had already consigned himself to be a bachelor till the end of his days. Data gathered, results compiled, and decision filed into the appropriate drawer; that was _one_ less thing to worry about- romance did have a way of complicating things. He was somewhat relieved.

But then- had it been almost a year ago? It seemed so recently- he had seen a young man dashing through the ministry hallways; he had spared the Prime Minister only a bright brittle smile as he passed. Katsuragi was taken aback. Surprised and maybe secretly a little offended; to smile so insolently at the Prime Minister, himself...

Though he did not consciously know it, Katsuragi though of that incident, that smile, throughout the day. He saw the man again once or twice, discussing something with a minister or grinning sardonically at grumpy evil-tempered Second Sergeant Watase. Apparently everyone else knew him well enough; he had probably been hired by one of the higher-ranking ministers. Katsuragi had not known of it but then again, it wasn't necessary to inform the Prime Minister of every minor employee they hired. Nevertheless, Katsuragi was a little disappointed that the two of them had never been properly introduced.

Katsuragi had been walking in the records room during a late afternoon when a glowing lamp twinkled at him through a space in the shelves where a section of books had fallen over. Katsuragi drew closer, curious. There he was, the man with his brittle smile, sitting at a workbench with a stack of paper spread out before him. Katsuragi watched him sort through the documents and intermittently scribble on a sheet of paper; the lamp cast a glowing veil over the man's pale hair and highlighted the contours of his face. Katsuragi watched him work. The young man talked to himself sometimes or ran off to gather more documents. Now and then, he argued aloud with some of the papers he was reading but other times he was silent as his bright interested eyes flew across the page, his nose almost touching the paper. He was fascinating.

He was the new Ministry Assistant, the Prime Minister found out later.

His name was Caius Cadmus.

-

_Thump._

Katsuragi looked up from his work. There was that noise again.

_Thump. Ping! _

He frowned and sat back. The other ministers were gone for the day; for all he knew, he was the only one still at the office. Was someone trying to break in? Then again, what kind of poor fools broke into the Ministry of Defence? What were they going to steal, the paperwork? He almost wished they would; it had been piling up these past few days. _Thump. Crack. Clatter._

He stood up suddenly and walked out. He needed to get away from his work for a while anyway and that noise was giving him a headache. He followed it to the end of the hallway and into a room the ministry used to store new deliveries. The room was filled with splintery wooden boxes stamped with blue and green shipping labels. A man knelt beside one of the crates to pry the nails out of one of the boxes with an old hammer; the end of his tie was thrown over his shoulder and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbows.

"What are you doing here? It's past closing time," Katsuragi said carefully, not sure whether he was addressing a minister or a burglar.

The man dropped his hammer in surprise and swore softly. As he turned, Katsuragi immediately recognised the new ministry assistant. Caius Cadmus. The young man surged to his feet. "I apologise for the noise, sir. I was- wait." Caius folded his arms and gave him a shrewd calculating glance. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I work here," he answered defensively, again taken aback by the way Caius showed no reverence for his position.

"Oh, really?" Caius answered in the most sarcastic voice Katsuragi had ever been addressed in. The assistant frowned fiercely for a few moments.

_He really looks angry, _the Prime Minister thought in astonishment.

Then unexpectedly, Caius grinned as sudden recognition dawned; he dropped his hostile manner as easily as he had dropped his hammer. "Oh, now I remember; I've seen you around."

"I should think you have," he answered dryly. He _was_ the Prime Minister, after all.

The other laughed quietly. "Forgive me, I took you for an intruder."

Was he being serious? But perhaps…Katsuragi struck upon a thought; perhaps, Caius really didn't know who he was. Well, they had never been properly introduced and if Caius really were as low on the social ladder as everyone said, he wouldn't have been invited to any of the parties the Prime Minister attended. Katsuragi smiled inwardly and decided not to tell him. "No harm done," he assured the young man. "What's all this, if I may ask?"

"These copies of the Goish trading policies were sent over here for the directory board set up to deal with that situation with the weapons smugglers in Niat. I was instructed to see that each board member received their designated information."

"Did Minister Ouranos put you up to this?"

"Why, yes he did. How did you know?"

"That man can never do anything by himself," Katsuragi muttered. "He just gave his job to you."

"I thought that was it," Caius replied wryly. "It seemed a strange assignment at the time but he rushed out the door before I could protest. Paper-shuffling godkiller."

Katsuragi didn't know whether to be appalled or laugh out loud. This Caius Cadmus certainly had a sting to him. It was a refreshing change, he had to admit though a part of him still wanted to admonish such disrespectful profanity.

Caius shrugged. "Nevertheless, disregarding his orders just to spite him will only make the board members suffer and I won't have that." His breath hissed out of his teeth sharply. "Ah, what other pressing matters do I have to attend to anyway?" He turned away and waved a hand vaguely. "Well, I have to get back to work. Sorry about the misunderstanding. I hope this noise won't bother you too much," he added. Caius had the certain tactful skill of brushing people off. He knew it too, and used it often.

"I could help you, if you'd like," Katsuragi said hurriedly. "It would speed up the job considerably." What was he thinking? He had more than enough to do back at his office.

_But I'd like to get to know Caius better… He is our ministry assistant, after all and I ought to know everyone in my staff_._ Aside from that_, he admitted to himself, _it's nice to be treated like a regular minister, for a change._

Caius looked at him thoughtfully. "Thank you."

Katsuragi nodded. "So, what do we do first?"

Caius kicked a crate rather viciously. "First we open all of these. Then, we sort the papers and send them to each board member's desk."

"That might prove a problem; some members are from different government branches."

"Yes, I know, Minister. We'll just deliver the papers to their board meeting tomorrow."

Katsuragi shrugged apologetically. "I'm afraid it's been postponed till the end of the week."

"Damn! Then what to do? Send them by courier?"

"Unfortunately, I believe the couriers have decided to go on strike."

Caius groaned. "I'd forgotten about that; no telling when their negotiations will end! What about the mail?" he thought about it. "No," he concluded, "With all these idiot government checks and restrictions, it won't get there in time."

"Probably not," Katsuragi agreed. Caius looked ready to curse the gods till they fell from the heavens.

"What…what if we carried them over, ourselves?" Katsuragi ventured.

Caius's brows furrowed. "Carried them ourselves. Well, it's doable…" he glanced at Katsuragi. "But I don't want to impose upon your time."

"I've nothing to do," he lied. "We'd better get to work, eh? Any extra hammers?"

Caius gestured to an ancient toolbox that had probably never been used since the first Prime Minister had been instated into office.

-

A wind was whistling shrilly through the stone columns as Caius and Katsuragi made their way out of the Department of Trade. Between them, they were carrying a heavy box filled with the necessary Goish documents; they set it down for a bit to give their arms some rest. Katsuragi had been walking up and down staircases for the better part of three hours; if this is what a ministry's assistant did for a daily job, his respect Caius had just grown significantly overnight.

Caius winced as the breeze blew cold against his face. "Isn't spring supposed to be warm?" he demanded.

"I suppose it's a bit late this year," Katsuragi replied. "How many more buildings do we have to visit?"

"Just a few more," Caius replied.

Katsuragi looked at the black velvet sky. "It must be past twelve o'clock."

"Probably," Caius agreed amiably. "But I'm used to working late."

"So am I. Come along, Esquire."

"Everyone just calls me Caius," he corrected. They picked up the box again to start off for another department.

"But you're a noble, aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"-but nothing," Katsuragi said firmly. He had heard many of the things the ministers whispered about Caius's low rank. "You have the right to demand some respect."

Caius laughed at this. "You're as old-fashioned as some of the senior ministers," he said. "though I'm sure none of _them_ call me esquire either."

"Then they are most disrespectful to you," Katsuragi argued.

Caius rolled his eyes. "Let me tell you, the high-borns need someone to look down their noses at. Andromache just ignores them and I try to do the same."

Andromache, Katsuragi had learned, was one of the young man's four siblings. He had heard much about them. Also, much to his delight, he had learned much about Caius as well. A keen frighteningly perceptive intelligence was the force behind an offhanded candid sarcastic wit and beyond that, a kinder gentler side that appreciated good tea, good music, and erudite company.

"You don't seem to care much about rank, Esquire." The two passed by the department's guard, who grinned carelessly at Caius and waved familiarly. He caught sight of Katsuragi and bowed formally before waving them on.

Caius grinned. "When you're one of the low-borns, you worry less about your title and more about what's important."

"And what _is_ important, do tell?" Katsuragi enjoyed hearing Caius's opinions; they were painfully honest and straightforward, not like the ostentatious truths that were dinned into his ears every day.

"To me, my family." They passed through the department's front door and up the stairs. "and doing something with my life instead of…_wasting_ it with continuous parties and dalliances and all these damned social politics." He sounded disgusted.

"I don't understand it either," Katsuragi replied. He tried not to get involved with political manoeuvring. "Which offices are we headed to?"

"Ministers Tokiko Arisugawa and Jirou Shinkun."

-

Caius walked back into the storage room with Katsuragi on his heels. The young man threw the empty crate indifferently into a corner with a crash and collapsed onto one of the other upturned boxes. "Next time I'll let Minister Ouranous to do his own damn job," he muttered, putting his feet up on one of the crates. Katsuragi took a seat near him. Caius looked over. "Again, sorry to drag you into all this."

Katsuragi smiled. "And again, it was no trouble; I had nothing to do."

"Thank you, all the same, Minister…ah…" He gave him a rueful grin. "We ran about everywhere on government grounds for the whole _night_, and we haven't even been introduced, have we?" Caius held out a hand. "You've heard of me already; I'm the ministry assistant, Caius Cadmus."

Katsuragi shook his hand. "I'm Seimei Katsuragi."

Caius's eyes widened and he jerked his fingers from Katsuragi's grasp. "Y-You're the Prime Minister?"

"Yes," he answered, trying not to smile.

"How could you…" Caius looked stunned for a moment but then began to laugh. "Did you enjoy masquerading as a minister, sir?"

"I wasn't trying to make you feel like an idiot, if that's what you are thinking-" Katsuragi started hurriedly but Caius stopped him.

"You're part of the great Katsuragi family and you have a high government position to garnish it. It's rather liberating to be one of the low-ranking ones, isn't it?"

Katsuragi grinned sheepishly and Caius grinned back. "No need to apologise, sir; I understand."

And he did, Katsuragi realised with astonishment. Caius Cadmus understood completely. This was a novel thing.

It was going to be interesting to have someone like him working in the ministry. Katsuragi smiled slowly. "Well, Esquire, from what I've heard of you, we're both likely to be staying after hours frequently so if you require help or even just company, feel free to stop by."

"That's very kind of you, sir. Thank you."

He made good on Katsuragi's offer. Soon, there was not a time he forgot to stop by the Prime Minister's office; Katsuragi began to look forward to seeing Caius after a long day. Theirs wasn't precisely a friendship, though Katsuragi would have liked to believe it so. They were co-workers, in the broadest sense; superior and subordinate, in the most specific. Katsuragi began to detest their titles. High Lord and Esquire. Prime Minister and Ministry Assistant. He hated that gap, that chasm. Still, he enjoyed Caius's company. And months passed.

_Of this Need wee'l Virtue make,_

High Lord Seimei Katsuragi wasn't in love.

He wasn't.

Truly.

It was only by chance that he would stop breathing as he watched the office assistant chew thoughtfully on the end of a pen or bite his soft rosy lower lip while poring over an aberration in the daily expense statement.

Katsuragi was sick. It was why food was often left untouched, concentration sometimes suddenly departed on wanton gallops of daydream and sleep danced away from him like a coy stallion on light feet. It had nothing to do with thinking about Caius all the time. Honestly, it was _appalling_ how much he thought about Caius when he was away; he even found himself carrying on imagined conversations with him.

But when the Prime Minister managed to claim some sleep, Caius was in his dreams. It was understandable, of course; the ministry assistant was around him much of the time. Why wouldn't his subconscious put him in a passing casual dream? Except they weren't. They were the awful sensual passionate dreams that he woke from with his breath racing and his face flushed. They were the kinds of dreams that he should have made himself forget the very second he opened his eyes. Not the kind he should have thought about again and again. Not the kind that would come rushing back to him and make him fight down a blush whenever he was in Caius's presence.

Much to his surprise, he very matter-of-factually accepted this strange new butterfly that had hatched from the chrysalis in his heart; he had no inner turmoil about his love for another man. He had no confusion, no denial. He just knew.

He loved him.

It was as simple as that.

-

It had happened so suddenly, one dark evening after everyone else had left for the day. He and Caius were leaning against the desk in his office and chatting casually about their first encounter.

"Then I got up to investigate; I thought someone was breaking in," Katsuragi said.

Caius replied, "I had never seen you before and you were suddenly at the door after the building was supposedly closed; forgive me for being suspicious. It seems that the ministry induces paranoia."

Their chuckles faded and they were left smiling faintly at each other, wondering what should be said next. An awkward pause was beginning to settle in; it was a strange vibrating sort of buzz, the kind that settles in just before a storm.

What happened next was a bit hazy for him to recollect. Maybe they both tentatively leaned forward. He didn't know.

_And learn Love before we may._

He only remembered his lips caressing Caius's soft desirable mouth with infinite gentleness, infinite care. Like a bow brushes lovingly across a violin's strings. Like a butterfly strokes its delicate wings against a translucent flower petal. Oh gods, how he remembered that. Faint inaudible breath roared in his ears. His heartbeat seemed to be magnified a thousand times and tinned into his brain; every sound his mouth made as it planted soft kisses sounded as loud as the gathering thunderstorm outside his shuttered window. He heard something like the sound of silk sliding against satin as the lips against his pressed back lightly, fearfully. And then, a quiet sigh.

Maybe seconds passed, maybe minutes. Maybe time paused for a span. Every single particle of him glowed like a host of fireflies.

There was no word for it. Bliss? Ecstasy? It numbed the mind, heightened the senses, and cast a delicious fog over reality and consciousness. It was in his blood now. In his soul. Without it, surely would he die.

Caius pulled back abruptly, his bright eyes shadowed and wide. He stared as if the hand on Katsuragi's cheek were not his own; he jerked it away. His breath came in short bursts and Katsuragi could feel him trembling uncontrollably. Caius parted his rose-petal lips but no words came and suddenly, he blushed a violent red as the thought came to both of them.

_What have we done?_

He sprang to his feet and backed away slowly.

"Esquire," Katsuragi said desperately. "Esquire, wait. Please…"

Suddenly, everything was too overwhelming, too much. Caius turned and fled, slamming the office door behind him.

-

The next day, Katsuragi was miserable. Whenever he saw Caius walking by, the young man turned away and redoubled his speed; he shied away from any possibility that forced him to speak or even exchange glances with Katsuragi.

What had seemed like the right thing to do yesterday was haunting the Prime Minister incessantly; he was mortified. _I kissed him. How could I? He's a friend, someone precious to me. Now I've destroyed it all, like damn fool! _He had always thought that broken hearts were things of stories or poetry, but what else could explain the dull ache that had settled its nest inside his chest?

He moved through the day in a slow gelatinous haze. Ministers had to get his attention multiple times before he noticed them. He walked to someone's office only to clean forget why he had come; sometimes, he would pause and look about, wondering where he was. His mind wandered as often as his feet. He couldn't even do his work; the letters blurred and twisted on the page until he couldn't read them. They tied themselves into snarled knots and ugly symbols he could not read. His head throbbed mercilessly and every small movement he made seemed to make the room spin. All he could think was that he had lost the only person he had ever scrapped up the courage to love.

-

"Good day, Prime Minister. I've finished the Danaan reports, if you would perhaps like to skim over them, I'd most certainly be willing to send them up."

He barely heard it.

"Good day, Prime Minister," another minister said as she left. He mumbled something incoherently. He heard her whisper something about fatigue to one of her colleagues, who nodded in agreement. They left him in silence. Others came; their voices mingled in his head until he could not distinguish one from another. Was he going mad? It felt like it. His ears heard nothing but an incessant droning buzz sometimes punctuated by a voice or a sound. His sight turned inward and saw the shocked expression on his friend's flaming face. He felt the hand at his cheek snatched away and heard receding footsteps, a door slamming. But then he remembered the soft mouth against his own and his stomach felt strange. He remembered the dizzying feeling of blood rushing to his head and the heat radiating from his friend's creamy skin.

"Prime Minister?"

And suddenly all the confusion, self-disgust, and fear narrowed into a single clear focal point as Caius peered into his office.

"E-Esquire." The floor stopped tilting suddenly. His headache began to fade. "What are you doing here?"

Caius held up a taped up brown folder like a shield. "Danaan reports," he said hollowly, not even looking at them. He quickly placed them on some conveniently close table and then snatched back his hand, as if the air in Katsuragi's office might suddenly grow hands and drag him in.

"Sent them back to Minister Kazahaya and tell him I'll see about it tomorrow," Katsuragi replied in a tone equally soft. Equally wary.

"He's gone."

"What?"

"The ministry's closed." Katsuragi's gaze shifted to the clock; it was past six.

Caius hesitated and then, as if propelled by a terrible strength of will which drew from the marrow of his bones and the years of his life, stepped inside and shut the door quietly. "I must speak with you."

Katsuragi rose from his chair. "About…about yesterday."

His eyes were guarded and blank. "Yes."

Katsuragi nodded. As he walked out from around his desk, he sighed wretchedly. "I understand it would be too…too great of a thing to…ask you for forgiveness but…we'll still be friends, I hope?" He extended an arm for a handshake but the other man just flinched at the gesture. Katsuragi dropped his arm wearily. The silence was so loud he felt he would go deaf.

"Why…why did you do it?" Caius's voice was quiet and numb.

"What?" Katsuragi whispered.

"Why did you…" Caius flushed. "Why did you k...kiss me?"

Katsuragi was too tired to lie. He could never lie to Caius. "I love you."

Caius turned redder and his voice grew stronger. "No. Why did you do it?"

"I told you," Katsuragi replied, taken aback by his vehemence. "I lo-

"-Stop!" Caius demanded and took a few steps back.

"And you…" He suddenly remembered Caius kissing him back. The hand lightly touching his cheek. "You love me."

His friend's face paled. "Shut up!" Caius screamed. "It's not true!"

Katsuragi's breath caught; Caius had shouted at him. Pragmatic cool-tempered Caius had _shouted_ at him. "No, it is. You know it's true. Why won't you accept it?"

"I won't accept it!"

Katsuragi looked at him quietly. Patiently. "Why?" His dark eyes bespoke months of friendship, months of a strange shared bond, for which neither man had a name. His eyes were like two open books. His lashes gilded a soft volume of precious pages. The line of his irises and the shards of black in his pupils scripted hundreds of words, hundreds of memories the two friends had shared together. As his lids lowered slightly, a shadow was cast over the feathery paper, whispering of something else that had grown up between them. A flower. Lovely but stunted, for it had no sun.

Caius looked into the Prime Minister's eyes but he could not read the language of the books.

Or…could he?

Could he? A sigil began to unravel itself and twisted into another letter. A familiar letter. Somewhere in the darkness, the flower put out a delicate fragile leaf. Caius bowed his head. His drawn breath made the book's pages flutter like wings. "Prime Minister…"

His face was not fine fair silk but another rosy distressed shade of red. The cloth folded itself into tormented wrinkles at his brow and his despondent mouth twisted like a sigil. Sigils he could finally read. Sigils he could finally utter, but from a different tome- his own. Every single word he spoke broke Katsuragi's heart more and more until he could almost physically feel the cracks and fissures spider across its surface:

"Y-You're a high lord; you're expected to marry and raise a family and…and…be a credit to the Katsuragi house! What if someone found out? Your family would be devastated. The government would take away your title, your inheritance, your property! You would lose your job! You'd be jailed, banished! They might even k-kill you!" Caius choked on the word. His eyes were beginning to tear. "I don't want that! I don't want to be the cause! _I-I…I don't want to ruin everything!"_

"Esquire…I…oh.." Katsuragi couldn't focus properly. _I didn't think…I should have…_Then he saw Caius, poor devoted precious Caius, who cared more about the Prime Minister than himself. Wordlessly, Katsuragi stretched out a hand. Instead of shying away from it like before, Caius clasped it shakily but as Katsuragi pulled him close, he strained and tried to pull away. "We can't," he kept repeating pleadingly. "Prime Minister, please, understand. We can't."

_So we win of doubtful Fate;_

Katsuragi clung to him determinedly. Caius reminded him of a deer he had seen once in the Arwyl woodland. Skittish. Wild. Beautiful. And just as he would with an agitated creature, he tried to calm him. "It's all right," he whispered as he hesitatingly stroked Caius's hair. "Esqui…Cadmus, calm down; you are not yourself. It's all right. "

He finally felt Caius's muscles relax and his breathing slow; he sagged despairingly against Katsuragi's reassuring frame. Katsuragi had expected the tears in his assistant's eyes to spill over. But Caius was too proud for that; he held back. _Stoic._

"I don't care," -Katsuragi stopped; the rough quality of his own voice surprised him- "I don't care about my title or my job or a single damned pence of my money. I don't care about my family's prestige," he continued. "I don't care if I'm arrested. I don't care if strangers spit on me and my friends avert their eyes as they pass. I don't care if the king himself asks for my head on a plate." Caius shuddered at the thought.

"You've worked so hard for everything you have, Prime Minister," he whispered.

"And I'm throwing it all away," Katsuragi answered savagely. "Everything. My job, my title, my inheritance."

"Why?" Caius asked shakily. His head rose so he could meet Katsuragi's eyes and receive an honest answer, for books should share their knowledge. "Everything you ever worked for..I don't understand…why?"

The Prime Minister's gaze softened. He touched Caius's chin. "What do you think?" he murmured.

Caius blushed in spite of himself and looked away. "Prime Minister, I…"

"Shh." Katsuragi anticipated rejection and wanted to forestall it for as long as possible; he laid a finger upon his assistant's lips. "I know I'm asking too much from you. If you so wish, you may leave now and never speak to me again. I deserve it, I know. You may tell me you never wish to see my face again and I'll leave my job at the Consortium Dome without hesitation. You may request to be transferred to a different department; I'll write out the recommendations for you, myself-"

"-No!" Caius almost shouted it. Katsuragi stopped in mid-sentence. He could feel Caius shaking again but now with fury; he jerked away from Katsuragi's grasp. "Prime Minister, you will _not_ send me away! You will _not_ leave your job for me! How dare you? _How dare you_ vow to give up everything for me and then talk about detaching yourself from me in the same breath? What gives you the right to decide my fate on your whim and your feelings?" Then, wearily, almost bitterly, "What does it matter that I love you?"

The flower put out another leaf.

_And, if good she to us meant,_

Katsuragi stared at him for a moment and smiled tentatively. "Oh, it does," he said quietly, not permitting himself to hope just yet. He put a reassuring hand on Caius's shoulder. "It does matter."

"I'm staying," Caius said stubbornly. Katsuragi felt his friend's frame go rigid. "But I…I can't.." The delicate leaf shrivelled, brown and papery.

Hopelessness left an acidic taste in Katsuragi's mouth. "Don't do this to me. Either I leave, or you. I can't go back to how it was. Not after all this. If only you knew the agony you put me through these past months just by standing next to me or talking with me or smiling." His voice faded for a moment. "And what if I grant your wish? The thought of seeing you every day but knowing I can't touch you, knowing we could have been together. I'll go mad. You could not choose a more perfect torture."

Caius looked away. "What about the torture they'll put you through if they find out about us? Prime Minister, _listen to me_; nothing is worth that."

"No. You're wrong."

By the gods!" Caius exclaimed, dismayed. "Do you think I am dearer to you than your own life? They'll kill you, do you understand? _They'll kill you!_"

"You're killing me now." Katsuragi's voice was as faint and fragile as gossamer.

"I don't want that either." Caius's replied more quietly. "But I don't want you dead." _I want…I want it back to the way it was, before you kissed me- before I loved you._ _Before everything got so complicated._

_Oh, how can I say that? As if loving you was a curse. It's not._

_It's not…_

The flower nodded. A petal gleamed.

_We that Good shall antedate,_

_Or, if ill, that Ill prevent._

Katsuragi still tried to convince him. "Cadmus, look, we'll be careful about when we meet; no one will know." He ran his thumb down the side of Caius's face. "Look, I'm with you now, and no one knows."

Caius closed his eyes. All he had to do was agree; all he wanted to do was agree. But all he could do was argue. "We can never be careful enough; we'll err one time from carelessness and that one time is all it will take."

"What carelessness? My door is locked, my windows are shuttered, and I'd never be so imprudent as to touch you in public."

"Then what if we ourselves reveal something by mistake?" They were both silent.

Katsuragi fixed his steady eye on him. "Do you think I would?"

Caius sighed. "No, of course not."

"And would you?"

After a long moment he shook his head reluctantly. "No."

"And do you love me?"

Caius reddened. "Yes." He couldn't stop- he couldn't control his own voice. He _had_ to say something; he couldn't just let himself be won over and force Katsuragi to walk the fine line of secrecy and disgrace every single day. But…he looked so wonderful with the light shining off his brown hair, his eyes glowing.

"And will you let me love you?"

Caius paused and Katsuragi sensed that he was horribly frightened. His assistant spoke slowly. "I…I've never thought of falling in love, before. It never occurred to me; I don't even own a courtship ring. I don't…don't know what I'm supposed to do." Katsuragi smiled; Caius sounded so serious, as if love was a task that had no instructions. _I suppose that in a sense, it is._

"I expect we'll see." A wave of affection washed over him. "Cadmus?"

"Hmm?" he said faintly.

"Would…would you let me kiss you?"

"Well, you didn't ask yesterday," Caius replied in such a normal tone of voice that Katsuragi laughed.

-

_Thus as Kingdomes, frustrating_

_Other Titles to their Crown,_

_-_

"High Lord Katsuragi, may I please present my eldest daughter, Lady Danae?"

"Certainly. Welcome, Lady Danae; it's a pleasure to meet you."

The girl smiled and curtsied. The introductions were over; she could have excused herself politely and gone off in search of her court friends, but her mother had her elbow in an iron grip. "She's so very interested in the Ministry of Defence, aren't you, Danae?"

"Yes, Mother," she replied. Beyond her pretty smiling face, Katsuragi could he her eyes glinting with discomfiture and resentment.

_So, another mother trying to make me into a match for her daughter, eh?_ Katsuragi thought. _And apparently Lady Danae doesn't much favour the idea._

He smiled at her kindly. "Then you've come to a most opportunistic party; here, I'll introduce you to some of the ministers."

Her mother almost glowed with triumph as she took his proffered arm and walked towards a knot of people in black robes.

"Thank you for that," she whispered to him.

"No trouble at all, my lady."

He nodded courteously to their chorus of greetings. "This is Lady Danae of House Shurei," he said.

"I'm interested in becoming a minister like all of you," she added.

"Faugh!" Minister Fujii exclaimed. "Another one!"

"Now you'll get one of her lectures about young people wasting their lives," someone said. "Gods know I've listened to it enough."

"Hold your tongue, Caius," she cracked back. One of the ministers laughed. Katsuragi's eyes rested on Caius Cadmus. He was not issued the standard black robes that all the other ministers had to wear. Like most low-ranking government employees, he wore a suit in some appropriately stern colour but a blue silk cravat at his throat fluttered defiantly. Katsuragi looked away after only a second for he did not want the others to notice how his eyes had lingered so caressingly over Caius.

"I'm not applying for a position so soon," Danae hastily intervened. "Later on, I hope."

"It's not very exciting right now, anyway," Minister Ouranos grumbled.

"You and your excitement," Minister Yoshihiro said disapprovingly. Minister Fides grunted in agreement.

"I've heard about the rebellions stirring up on the coast," Danae countered.

Yoshihiro waved it off. "Too feeble and disorganised to pose much of a threat."

"No wars as of recently," Minister Kazahaya said. "No border disputes. No religious or ethnic fights, no plagues."

"I'm bored," Minister Icarus said.

"Hush, you!" Fides snapped as she made a warding sign. "You'll call the ire of the gods on us! You shouldn't be disgruntled; you should be _happy_."

"Well, there has been a diplomatic dispute recently," Ouranos said helpfully.  
"Oh, damn!" Caius exclaimed as he remembered. "The Nandeis papers- they came in this morning!"

"But it's the diplomats' issue; what do they want us to do about it?" Yoshihiro demanded.

"It's just a formality, in case we go to war with them," Katsuragi reminded him. "It _is_ a terrible amount of paperwork, though."

"You should have seen it." Caius said numbly, his eyes glazed over. "There were boxes of the stuff. _Boxes._"

"Still certain you want to join up with us, Lady Danae?" Minister Fujii inquired stiffly. The young woman laughed and struck up a conversation with the elderly minister.

"I rather wish we had held this Autumn's Eve party some other day," Katsuragi was saying to one of his ministers. "I'll be going over to the ministry immediately after this is over."

"Surely it can wait, sir," Minister Fides said.

"I'm afraid not," Katsuragi replied.

"Seimei!" Matsurika Katsuragi called out.

"Coming, Mother. Please excuse me, all of you," he apologised and left.

"They want the paperwork shipped back to them by the middle of this week," Caius told Fides hollowly.

"They're _mad_," Minister Icarus exclaimed. "We'll have to put everything else on hold to complete at their deadline!"

Caius nodded sadly. "I'm going over there in a few minutes, myself."

"You're abandoning your own director's party?" Minister Yoshihiro gaped. "Caius, that's intolerably rude. How can you even think of doing such a thing?"

"Because I'm an assistant, not a minister," the young man retorted. "I won't be missed." Enduring Yoshihiro's condescending glare, he added, "I'm _telling_ him I'm leaving, Minister- not like I'm sneaking out like a petty thief."

Yoshihiro shook his head. "Do as you please, Caius."

-

Most of the guests had already departed. Lord Nicander Katsuragi was at the door seeing the rest of them off. Paper and silk decorations on the walls had already drooped from exhaustion- flowers were wilted and lamps dimmed in their sconces. The musicians in their corner were beginning to pack their instruments and carefully put away their music. Flutes were cleaned out, clarinets were polished, and chimes were diligently covered with dust-proof cloth. Music scores were reordered and sorted: waltzes, ariendas, brisk pardaes.

The servants would emerge later with their brooms and washcloths; leftover platters would be ferried into the kitchen and tables would be stripped of their linens to be sent to the laundry. Soon, floors would gleam again and the lamps would glow.

"Did you find anyone interesting today, Seimei?" his mother looped her arm through his. They made an odd pair as they walked together for she came only to his shoulder.

He knew she meant young women but decided to be vague. "I talked to many people, yes."

"Anyone that caught your eye?" she persisted.

He thought of Caius looking so sober and formal in his dark suit with the blue silk cravat that set off his hair. "Not really..."

She paused for a moment then walked on in a cascade of amber and plum brocade. "Lady Briseis's daughter was looking very fine."

He mumbled something.

"I saw you talking to Lady Danae; you introduced her to your ministers, I believe."

"She says she wants to be a minister."

"Pah," his mother said, smiling. "She's a bit odd; still, she's sweet."

Katsuragi shrugged. Behind him, they huge old ballroom clock struck four. He extracted his arm and stepped back.

"You'll have to excuse me, Mother."  
"Seimei, where are you going?"

"I'm going over to the ministry."

"_Now_?"

"Yes; the Nandeis papers are due in half a week."

"The ministry opens back up again at seven. What's three extra hours?"

"We have a half-day tomorrow; it won't open till ten."

She turned to her husband. "Nicander, speak to him."

"About what, dear?" he asked. All of the guests had gone; he gave a signal to one of the servants to close the delicately gilded doors.

"Seimei says he has to go off to the ministry."

Nicander shrugged. "So let him."

"Nicander! He'll work himself to death! Can't he allow himself some respite? He takes his job too seriously!"

"If _he_ doesn't, my dear, then who will?" Lord Nicander gave her a placating smile. "Go on," he told his son out of the corner of his mouth.

Katsuragi bowed silently and left.

-

The carriage wheels clattered to a stop in front of a huge ancient building boxed in with a tall iron gate. Katsuragi remembered to take his lantern as he got out; he thanked the coachman and the carriage rumbled off again. He stopped at a small booth outside the fence.

"Good morning, Melpomene."

She stifled a yawn and smiled back. "Good morning, Prime Minister." The guard's breath came out in little puffs as she came out to unlock the gate. "Terribly early for work, isn't it? And _cold_."

"You're used to me coming and going at ungodly hours."

"That I am, sir," she agreed. The keys on her chain jingled together as she sorted through them. "If you don't mind me asking Prime Minister, what's all the panic about?"

"As usual, they've given us too much work and not enough time to finish it."

"Ha, thought so; Caius Cadmus is already here- has been for the past few hours." She shook her head. "I don't know how he does it. Or you, for that matter."

Katsuragi chuckled. "Tea," he answered. "Lots of tea. Take care, Melpomene."

"You too, sir."

He stepped through the gate and heard it lock behind him. The gravel crunched under his feet. It was chilly; autumn was retracting its claws and an unusually cruel winter was just beginning to show its teeth. He pulled his woollen scarf tighter.

The ministry's front door opened with a noisy squeak; it was cold in here, too. The Prime Minister's office was the only place that still had access to heat after the building shut down. As he walked across the darkened lobby and up the stairs, the light from his lamp fell over wooden crates jammed with papers. _The Nandeis documents_, he thought with a groan.

A few more flights of stairs and he was at his office; the light was on, he noticed with perplexity. As he walked in, he saw Caius at his desk stacking some papers that would need his signature.

He looked up from his task. "Sir," he greeted him with mild surprise. He was wearing a brown woollen coat over his dark crumpled formal suit. The knot of blue silk at his throat had become loose and his tie hung unevenly.

Katsuragi shut the door and locked it. "Hello, Cadmus," he said softly.

Nandeis be damned.

-

_In the craddle crown their King,_

_So all Forraign Claims to drown._

-

The distant bell-tower was ringing eight o' clock when Caius opened his eyes. He was…warm.

He had always hated winters at the ministry; he would wake up slumped in his office chair, shivering- his muscles cramped and sore. Now, strangely, the cold did not gnaw at his bones; the quilt was soft against his shoulder and the sheets comfortable against his side.

Katsuragi was curled up against him, still asleep. Caius carefully pushed the dark brown hair away from his forehead. Weak shafts of light beaded their way through the shuttered windows and fell upon Katsuragi's face; Caius pensively traced the lines of brightness that followed the contours of his forehead, his eyelid, his jaw.

To some, the Prime Minister's face was not attractive enough to contend with the likes of the other eligible nobles in the Consortium Dome. To Caius, it was the face he loved best in the world. He loved seeing it change as Katsuragi laughed or frowned- the twinkle in his eye, the curve of his mouth, the quirk of his brow.

Caius savoured the familiar warm weight of Katsuragi's head against his shoulder. He loved it when the two of them would be talking or working side by side or even- on rare occasions- arguing vehemently, and suddenly Katsuragi's eyes would soften and he would reach out to touch Caius's hair.

Never doubt it, Caius was happy. So wondrously indescribably achingly happy that sometimes his eyes would tear. But every so often as he looked around him and saw the bolted doors and the shuttered curtained windows, he thought, _this is no way to live._

What would be life without having to carefully pick off bright strands of pale hair from the pillows and couch; what could life be if he and his lover didn't have to wash the blankets and linens in Katsuragi's bathtub in the mornings? What could it be if their muscles weren't always so tense as they listened for every sound, every footstep, even as they sat in his suite and chatted casually?

Then again, what would life be without Seimei Katsuragi? What would be life without long discussions over smuggled tea, heated debates about politics and intrigue, or gentle endearments and snatches of poetry whispered to each other in the dark as they lay together sharing Katsuragi's narrow government-issue bed?

Caius felt his friend stir; his dark brows furrowed for a moment and his chest rose and fell differently as his breathing pattern changed.

_Time to get up,_ Caius thought regretfully as he looked at the clock. He swung his legs over the side of the bed but felt fingers clamp onto his wrist and hold him back.

"Where are you going?" Katsuragi mumbled faintly. His eyelids fluttered for a second to get used to the light but then he decided to keep them closed. Maybe he would be able to get back to sleep.

"It's late, dearest," Caius replied.

Katsuragi groaned and he shifted, trying to get comfortable again. "Can't you stay…for a few minutes?"

"You know I have to go to work. So do you."

Katsuragi nodded reluctantly. "I love you," he murmured sleepily and nestled his head back against the pillow as he reached for the faint traces of his fading dream. Caius looked at him affectionately for a moment before giving him a quick kiss and gently prying the fingers from his wrist. He left the room and Katsuragi soon heard the washbasin taps in the bathroom squeak and the water begin to run.

He must have dozed off again for when he opened his eyes, Caius was searching for his shoes and humming some tune from the party yesterday; he found a dark sock on the floor. Was it his or Katsuragi's? He shrugged and put it on anyway. "I found your jacket," he said and dumped it on the bed next to Katsuragi. "I thought you were going back to sleep."

"Who can sleep through the racket you're making?" Katsuragi asked with gentle irritation and rubbed his eyes.

Caius grinned and saw himself in the mirror over the dresser; he had slept in his ministry uniform shirt and trousers. "I'll never get these wrinkles out," he exclaimed and tried to smooth out the creases in one sleeve.

Katsuragi wasn't very good at waking up in the mornings. He stayed in bed with his head resting on his drawn up knees and watched his lover through half-lidded eyes.

Caius was buttoning up his shirt. He frowned and his fingers stopped adjusting his collar. "Seimei, where's my tie?"

"Hnn?"

"My tie- the blue one I was wearing yesterday."

Katsuragi blinked. "I don't know." He yawned. "I may have thrown it somewhere." Then he paused. "Sorry," he added.

Caius shook his head. "I suppose I'll find it eventually," he said as he turned away to rummage through the room. Katsuragi sleepily watched him look on the couch in the other room, behind the dresser, even under the bed.

Caius looked so different. His wrinkled white shirt was still unbuttoned at the collar and cuffs and his dark blonde hair was uncombed and fell into his eyes. Katsuragi rather liked seeing him like this in the mornings.

Caius had stopped searching for a moment and was looking at him curiously. "What?" he asked. The cool morning light gleamed off his bright hair.

"Nothing." Katsuragi wondered why no one at court thought the young man handsome. Yes, his family wasn't high-ranking or particularly rich but Caius was…wonderful. Katsuragi had never met anyone like him before. He had sensed…_something_ about the young man, even when he had first passed him in the hall, even when he had walked in the storage room that day to find Caius dismantling the Goish crates. Katsuragi was so lost in his own thoughts that he almost didn't see Caius scowling down at him with his arms crossed.

"Seimei, are you getting up or not?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Sorry."

-

_So, to make all Rivals vain,_

_Now I crown thee with my Love:_

-

Katsuragi felt a light touch on the back of his hand and looked up into his friend's face. The Goish papers, the time they had first become lovers, the Autumn's Eve party. Only a few memories out of hundreds and all because of that one day…

"What are you smiling about?" Caius asked.

"Remembering when I first kissed you," Katsuragi replied.

Caius laughed. "Gods, but I was scared! All I could do was run from the room and keep on running." He pressed closer to his lover. They were curled up on a sofa in the suite of rooms behind Katsuragi's office. A tray of tea waited patiently on the table in front of them.

"But then you came back the next day," Katsuragi said. He drained his cup and refilled it again before passing it to his friend.

One teacup. A saucer. A single spoon. As if Caius were not there. _Denying_ that Caius was there. Thus, could the two of them not be discovered.

"I had honestly expected you to quit your job or leave without any notice whatsoever," the Prime Minister continued.

"But I didn't." Caius stirred his tea with milk and sugar to his satisfaction.

"But you didn't. I remember you exploding into a flurry of protests about how you were going to be the ruin of me."

"I remember."

"It made me think about the consequences our relationship might have on you."

"I didn't know you were worried about that."

"Of course." Katsuragi smiled. " I was so scared something awful could happen to you and then I began to understand why you were so petrified about being with me. I'll admit, love; you almost had me convinced. But then," -he kissed Caius's forehead- "You told me you loved me. And that was that."

Caius closed his eyes like a cat languishing in the sun. "You always call me that."

"Call you wha…" Katsuragi smiled wryly and put his mouth near Caius's ear. "Love," he whispered darkly. Caius shivered. The Prime Minister pulled back and ran his lips over the soft skin at Caius's cheek then over his mouth. He could see the pale skin already colouring. Caius endured his chaste kiss as long as he could before biting his lover's lip.

Katsuragi pretended offence. "I remember when you did that too."

"And you haven't changed a bit since," Caius protested weakly. "You always kiss me like I'm made of glass."

He smiled teasingly. "You are."

Caius muttered a curse and kissed him furiously, their teeth clicking together; he pulled Katsuragi toward him by the collar of his shirt and fell back against the couch. "Made of glass, am I?" he retorted angrily and kissed him again, easily parting Katsuragi's unresisting mouth. He wanted more of the ambrosial taste and relished hearing the little sounds of exclamation involuntarily wrenching themselves from Katsuragi's lips. Caius's wanted him so badly, loved him so much.

Then, as Katsuragi was carefully kissing Caius's delicate eyelids, he noticed the dark circles under them with concern. Katsuragi blinked and looked at him again. Behind the flush, the ministry assistant's cheeks and forehead were an unhealthy pallor. He pulled back.

"Seimei," Caius complained softly.

"You're not well," the Prime Minister replied anxiously. "You look so drawn."

"What?" Caius put his arms around his lover's waist and tried to pull him back. "No. No, of course not."

"Cadmus, you don't have to lie to me," he replied a little sharply. "I should have paid more attention to-"

"-But Seimei!" Caius argued. He leaned up to kiss his lover longingly.

Katsuragi found it difficult to argue with this. He kissed Caius's forehead. "Come on, love. What you need is some tea and a good night's rest."

"Fine," Caius grumbled. He settled himself against one of the couch's soft armrests, pulling Katsuragi next to him.

Katsuragi sighed and buried his face in the other's shoulder as he felt his heartbeat slowly decelerate. Caius was as precious to him as air or light. "I wonder what they'd say if they found out I was having an affair with my ministry assistant. A young assistant, no less."

_But we aren't having an affair_, Caius thought. _I courted you as honestly and honourably as any other young lover would; we…we just have to hide this courtship, that's all. _"Shut up, you. That's the hundredth time I've heard a comment about my age," he remarked sharply. "I'm twenty-six, Seimei."

Katsuragi murmured. He sighed again and softly kissed his lover's neck. "You look younger," he argued, sitting back, his cotton shirt rustling against the velveteen couch upholstery.

"Hmph," Caius replied and returned to the cup and saucer beside him. He downed the tea thirstily though it had become tepid. "Because every time you look at yourself in the mirror, you've seemed to have aged another hundred years."

-

_Crown me with thy Love again,_

_-_

Katsuragi touched his cheek. "And then you come to me in the evenings and bolt my office door, carrying a candlestick that sets you aglow." -Caius opened his mouth to say something sardonic but his lover placed a finger on his lips before they could even begin to form words- "No, don't you say anything; I'm feeling rather poetic."

He smiled wryly and Caius laughed. "You put down your candlestick; you get rid of your halo and become human, just for an evening. Just for me." He pulled the other into an embrace. "Then you let me take you into my arms and suddenly-" Katsuragi leaned in to whisper in his ear. "-_I'm young again_. Seven years your senior instead of seven hundred."

Caius closed his eyes and listened to the melodious words flow over him. "When I wake up the next morning, you've gone, though the pillow beside me still carries your scent. The sheets still retain your form. But I know that when I see you next, you'll be changed. I see you sometimes in the ministry's halls but only for a second. Only a few times a day. Sometimes you come into my office to deliver reports or answer summons but I can't speak to you like this. I can't touch you. I'll see you as a sprite by day. Evanescent. Intangible. Perhaps made of mist and wishes. But when the last glimmer of sun drops below the horizon, you've become human again. You've become mine."

Katsuragi rested his cheek against cool silky hair. "Like a fairytale. Unearthly creature by the light of the sun; human by night." Then teasingly, "How do I break the spell on you, love?" Silence. He paused. "Cadmus?"

He felt deep regular breathing against his neck. Carefully, he drew Caius from him. The young man had fallen into a deep desperately exhausted sleep.

Katsuragi chuckled softly and would not have woken him for the world. Delicately as he could, he moved the man's sleeping form to his bed in the other room. Gently, he laid him against the soft cushions and blankets. Sitting at the edge of the mattress, he deftly untied Caius's shoelaces and removed his shoes, lining them up neatly beside the closet. Katsuragi tugged a blanket over him and leaned over to brush a kiss against his forehead.

"Good dreams to you, Cadmus."

_-_

_And we both shall Monarchs prove.  
_

* * *

"_Go on, G.Gs, tell us about all this political strife and…stuff…"_ Yeah right! (maniacal laughter) I fooled you ALL, didn't I? Caius: I don't know… 

FM: (point) Shut up! (turning back to smile at reviewers)

So, I hope I helped you get to know both of our G.Gs, especially Caius, since his character is pretty tricky to get across onto paper. I hope this chapter wasn't too sappy; I hate it when authors overdo the sappiness. Ugh. I drown in this chapter's sappy-ness.

I had a long discussion with Magick about chemistry. (Flashbacks of Mad Scientist Foolish Mortal in a laboratory, adding a substance into a liquid-filled test tube and causing an explosion. Note to readers: alkali metals and water _don't mix_).

So I hope I got Cai-kun and Seimei-sama's chemistry right. (FM saunters out of blown up chemistry building with a stupid grin.)

Gyadsake, those stupid parties must be terrible for them.

Katsu: Tell me about it.

Cai: Especially that Autumn's Eve party.

FM: Yeah, surrounded by all these ministers drinking punch and bitching about how the country is too peaceful.

Katsu: And I'm just standing there trying not to fall asleep.

FM: (looks at him) Re-eally? (fidget. long pause) He was totally checking you out, Cai-kun.

Cai: WHAAT?

FM: Blue tie fetiiiish!

Random Minister: (walking in) Gods, I'm bored. (blink) Prime Minister?

Cai & Katsu: _What are you doing here?_

Ha, I'll be getting some interesting views. As always, do tell of some parts and lines that jumped out at you, where I could improve, etc.

Major snappage to Magick, who figured out CaixKatsu in chapter FOUR. I was amaz-ed.

G.E.E.K Faction, hail!

TWOPEMSCI, hail! (if thou knowest not TWOPEMSCI, come hither to the Miscellaneous Anime Forums and clicke yon Twitch forum; we always like new members. Bashing forum is enjoyable as well)


	7. The Waking

_"Hast thou courageous fire to thaw the ice?" _

_-Satyre John Donne_

**Disclaimer: I do not own JO or Theodore Roethke's The Waking.**

Reflections on chapter six:

I looked back, and there's some lyrics going on there:

_We two seem to be in a competition,_

_To see who can work the longest without respite;_

_It would seem so,_

_Unless there's some other poor soul lurking about tonight._

Katsu, you rhyming poet, you!

Katsu: Word.

Also: You may have noticed that Tokiko-san was portrayed as a minister. YES. She was a minister before she married Shiba. That's why Caius calls her Minister Tokiko _Arisugawa._ The flashback was before she got married. Sorry if that confused anybody; I was just trying to build a timeline. It may have fallen on its face like a bad omelette.

**A rather reasonable warning to all that are reading C.F**: You know, I've been looking over the last chapter and asking myself about the realism of it and I've discovered that it falls short. (a.k.a. Was I on something illegal while writing it?)

Therefore, I'm replacing it with the alternate chapter six I wrote much more recently.

This is non-negotiable, for I re-read chapter and almost committed seppuku.

Cheers,

FM

A reply to: "Took you long enough, didn't it, FM?"

I talked on LJ about by chapter length and I've decided to chop up my poems and cut down my chapters so that I don't have to work on one chapter for like…_months_ and now you lovely people can read them sooner.

So, the poem The Waking will be continued in another chapter.

-

* * *

_I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow._

The first thing that woke him was the shrill stinging at his throat.

"N-Naoya?"

"Ungh," he groaned and tried to turn over but his abused forearm was pinioned between his torso and the mattress, and he recoiled with a smothered cry.

"Oh no." Haruna's cool hand was at his brow. Her fingers brushed delicately over his neck. "Well, at least this is finally stanched."

"Ha…Haruna?" It pained him. His cheek felt strange when he tried to speak.

"What _happened_ to you, brother?" she demanded. "You didn't tell me you were so injured."

"I didn't think I was," he replied scratchily.

"Hmph." She helped him sit up and piled the pillows behind him. His eyes immediately lit upon a long ravelled trail of used bandages on the table; the thin ribbon-like tape was spotted brown with blood.

He raised his good arm and touched the side of his throat. His shoulder twinged.

"Mother helped me change the bandage there and at your arm," Haruna said, knowing what he was about to ask.

"M-Mother? Where is…she?"

"She was here with me, but she had to go to the E.G.O Institute on emergency call. She could not refuse."

"I…" A cough. "I see."

"Yes." She passed him a cup of water, which he drank gratefully. Greedily. He handed back the empty cup.

"Damn Patricius," Itsuki muttered, his voice clearer. He ran his tongue over the inside of his cheek; it felt swollen. "He could have told me I was bleeding."

"Perhaps he could not see- it was very dark."

"Yes, that must be i-" His eyes shot to her face. "_What did you say_?"

She reddened. "W-Well, Lady Kirihara was here to see you, and when she touched your arm, she asked me about the man you had talked to last night."

His eyes widened. "How could she-"

"-Mindbreaker." Haruna's mouth was in a thin line; she didn't care for Mindbreakers much. Too many of them had tried to gain control of her in the past. "Untapped too. Naïve. Who knows how much power she has?"

Itsuki shivered and clenched his fists. _She had no right to pry into my…_But Kirihara's smiling face came to his mind and he could not bring himself to think ill of her. Whatever she had done, she had done for his sake.

"What else…what else did she say?"

"She didn't stay for long. Only a few minutes, to ask after your health, hope that you had healed."

He couldn't fathom this for a moment.

"I don't deserve it," he whispered finally. "I don't deserve her kindness."

"No, you don't," Haruna agreed.

"And yet she gives it still." He marvelled at this. He marvelled at her. Such a kind gesture. Such a kind woman. Much better than him, to be sure.

Much better.

It disconcerted him. Better to talk and hope the sound blotted it out. He was so weak; his thoughts were so flimsy- a bit of noise would scare them away. He had to talk. Anything. "Haruna?"

"Hmm?"

"Did…did Kaname come with Lady Kirihara?"

"I think you know better than to ask such a question," she said stiffly. "And I know better than to answer it." Hesitation, then, "It would only hurt you."

"I deserve to be hurt," Itsuki said painfully. His fingers clenched around his arm. "I deserve to be hurt as much as I hurt him. I-" The crusting blood at his arm broke and warm wetness leaked out through his fingers.

"Stop it!" Haruna shouted and pushed him violently. The pillows slid out from behind him and he collapsed back onto the mattress, stunned. His backbone felt hollow.

Haruna squeezed her eyes closed for a moment. "Stop it," she said more quietly. "I won't ask you again."

"But I-"

She was already tying a fresh bandage around his arm. "Be quiet, Naoya! How can you stand to hurt yourself so? You'll suffer enough trying to win Lord Kusakabe back!"

"As if I ever had him in the first place," Itsuki muttered.

A heavy pause.

He looked up. "Haruna?"

She was looking at him curiously. "Is…is that what yesterday was about?"

"What?"

Her eyes had a kind of steady intensity he could not bear to meet for more than a few moments. How could he have known that he himself had worn the same expression many times? This expression, which made Kusakabe uneasy and unable to look away. "Is that why you attacked him in the Arena yesterday? He has not been a friend to you?" She touched the back of his hand with her fingertips.

"He is one of my closest friends," Itsuki replied defensively.

"He is close to you, and yet now he drifts. Isn't that what you think?"

She was beginning to frighten him now. "I think nothing of it."

"Of course you do. You think everything of it. You think everything of him."

"O-of course. He is my friend; I think of him quite highly."

Her lips quirked; it was an odd gesture. It did not fit her somehow. "Of course." Then, a sigh. "What a thing to have a steady friend."

A little shock jolted through his chest and his mouth tasted acrid and dry. Wasn't that…wasn't that what he had thought…yesterday, back in the Arena. Before he had attacked Kanam-

A stinging pain at the back of his hand made him jerk away. There were two round burn marks there, against his pale skin. Two marks the shape of fingertips. "Haruna!"

"Ah, I _am_ sorry!" she cried. "I didn't mean to let my power loose-"

"-It it nothing," he reassured her. "It's not your fault. You're so tired- look, I can see dark circles under your eyes. Please get some rest, Haruna."

"How can I rest knowing you're in the next room in this kind of state," she protested, applying some salve to the burn marks.

He stretched his arms out above his head. She had to chase his hand with the dollop of salve on her fingertips. "Bah, I'm awake now; I couldn't stay abed if you tied me down." He swung his feet over the bed and looked for his slippers. "I think I'll go take a stroll along the walkway."

She stayed his arm. "I don't think you want to face the courtiers so soon," she murmured.

His smile still held, but now it was pasted on. "I have to deal with them sooner or later. I have to be held accountable and let them pass judgement on me. I want to have life go back to some sort of normalcy."

"They'll tear you apart like vultures on carrion."

The image made his stomach lurch. "Perhaps."

"Naoya, this is stupid. What will you-"

But his shirt was already covering up the bandages on his arm; his jacket was already around his slight shoulders.

Her mouth pursed. "Naoya…"

But he was already opening the door to the bathroom across the hall.

"I'll just clean up; you go on and rest," he said and tried to smile at his sister charmingly. "Come now, would you deprive me of my right to brush this horrible taste out of my teeth?"

"Hmph."

-

_I feel my fate in what I cannot fear._

_-_

He closed the door and glanced up at the mirror, then froze. His reflection looked back. There, a bruise over one eye. His mottled cheek, ah. It had swelled to twice its size, the inflammation reaching almost to his jaw. He saw his own eyes, staring back in surprise.

Then suddenly, it seemed comical.

His throat throbbed raw as he began to laugh, but he paid it no mind. He was a clown, a buffoon. He could almost imagine his whole face puffed up, with circles of paint over each cheek and a bruise over one eye! He could imagine his bandaged fingers twisting flowers in whimsical circlets for young children. He could see himself cavorting and cartwheeling in gross parody with a tattered arm.

He laughed and laughed, leaning over the sink weakly. He could not stop. His shoulder and hand flared up as he grasped the lip of the basin. His jaw was aching and he felt giddy. Still, he laughed. He laughed until he cried.

And then.

And then he was truly crying. Leaning over into the sink, face almost buried in the basin like a child burying into his mother's comforting shoulder.

But the ceramic felt hard and cold against his cheek.

He tried to nestle his face into the curve of the basin to hide his noise, to hide it from Haruna, who was only a hallway apart.

It would not silence.

Haruna, she could never know. Haruna.

He cried harder, great gulping sobs. Mouth open, eyes burning and wet.

His chest felt as if it had collapsed in on itself. There was nothing there, anymore. The sternum was fragmented, his ribs had bent to impossible angles. He would have touched them, but he could not let go of the sink. His legs were too weak. He would have crumpled.

He opened his mouth to gasp, and…

And…

His lungs, what had happened to them? Perhaps they had flattened into paper; perhaps they had fallen into his stomach and withered in the wash of gastric acid.

Is that what had happened to his heart?

Ah.

It had been lost.

Lost? No.

It had been given away. He could not remember.

It had been thrown back like a fish onto land, where it lay there struggling and gasping.

How could it not? It had been used to the sea for so long.

What was it to do?

What was he to do?

He could not bear watching it flop and flail so pathetically. He had taken it back; he had eaten it. He had eaten his own heart and found the taste bitter and gritty.

And now, he was vomiting it back up.

And once he started, he could not stop. He could feel it surge from his stomach and splatter out into the basin- a sour acidic burning at the back of his throat. A gasp, and then a wet desperate coughing. Another heave. It reeked.

He was not even retching now- he was too weak to retch. It was simply flooding from his throat. Corrosive. His tongue was coated in it.

Splatter.

Metallic. Slippery with phlegm.

Cough. A half sob, but his stomach heaved and he ended up vomiting.

The mucus was dripping from his nose. Down into his mouth. Into the sink in long stringy beads.

Cough. A wipe at his nose, but now it was all over his hand. He turned on the tap and the vomit circled nauseatingly in the water before going down the drain.

He stopped the water.

He was fine. He was fi-

Another heave. It was not all out of his stomach. It was not yet done with him.

He was coughing as he vomited now. A good sign.

He could feel a crusting of vomit pulling tight the skin of his lower lip.

At last it came out. Hot and liquid and sour. It was the milk from yesterday's coffee. Gone. Gone down the drain and washed away.

He turned the hot water tap completely and splashed it onto the white ceramic. A hot purging would rid the sink of the smell.

He was next. He blew his nose till his ears felt strange whenever he swallowed, and he could hear his own breath too loudly. . The water was steaming now. His hands were becoming red from it. A harsh scrubbing for his face, water dashed against his swollen eyes. He rinsed out his mouth again and again A scoop of water into his mouth and he tipped back his head to gargle and get the acidic taste out of his throat. The torn skin at his neck pulled and stung.

Then suddenly, the water was too hot, and he had to turn it off hurriedly. He put his face into the towel and felt like the god Haesmondis putting his face into his mother's lap.

Itsuki pressed his hands into the towel. They were too tender and prune-like and stung from the hot water.

His shirt felt too cold against his skin and as he felt it, he saw that it was soggy with water. He would have to go change it. Surely he had other shirts that were not wrinkled or dusty.

Or bloodied.


End file.
